I hate the way I think

Aconite

Aconite

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Prescription pharmaceuticals can only do so much, and I can't get diagnosed with what a lot of psychiatrists think I have until I'm 18. It's torture being in my own mind constantly and my current sobriety is making it thousands of times worse than usual. I can't go on like this. I need some healthy way of coping before I do something I'm sure to regret.
 
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bipolar and borderline. I also have a very high chance of developing split personality disorder
Sorry bud, i struggle with personality disorders as well. It's a time thing, the more you adapt to situations with trial the errors start to become less apparent. You will live a life trying to fix yourself and realize that others will try too, they can't, you can. You will fuck a lot of shit up, but you will also grow while doing it. It's a dark take but it's the truth.

The real way to get better is understanding that most of the stuff you do is out of fear, you're just scared of being alone and we do things to avoid feeling alone and that makes us alone. We would rather watch the world burn then to say how we really feel in the moment and end up saying it when it matters most to us but not to the others. It’s a journey and the only way to live is to learn regardless of fault and errors. Shit sucks though, it’s a curse a binding one and we are left with no guide but a path to something we don’t even want but have to do and that being living a normal lifestyle.
 
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Sorry bud, i struggle with personality disorders as well. It's a time thing, the more you adapt to situations with trial the errors start to become less apparent. You will live a life trying to fix yourself and realize that others will try too, they can't, you can. You will fuck a lot of shit up, but you will also grow while doing it. It's a dark take but it's the truth.

The real way to get better is understanding that most of the stuff you do is out of fear, you're just scared of being alone and we do things to avoid feeling alone and that makes us alone. We would rather watch the world burn then to say how we really feel in the moment and end up saying it when it matters most to us but not to the others. It’s a journey and the only way to live is to learn regardless of fault and errors. Shit sucks though, it’s a curse a binding one and we are left with no guide but a path to something we don’t even want but have to do and that being living a normal lifestyle.
Good luck on your journey, brother. I appreciate the advice and kind words.
 
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