i hated my Homecoming dance

invisiblefrog4

invisiblefrog4

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To start i need to give context. Theres this girl ive had a crush on her since my freshman year. im a senior now. her name will be elena. i had talked to her in my junior year around september and we stopped talking in november because she didnt like me anymore, and that hurt because i really liked her a lott, she was everything i ever wanted in a girl pretty, hilarious and all around a great person. She told me she didnt want to talk to me anymore because she didnt want to get attached. That hurt me, a lot. i was heartbroken for months, i would do horrible on tests. She was on my mind 24/7. Eventually i moved on after a few months. Im in my senior year, it was july and she had started to talk to me again, we were friends nothing more. i felt so happy, i knew that if she broke my heart it would hurt even worse, regardless i still talk to her. we talk everyday, her smile, the way she laughs, her hair, everything about her gives me butterflies. Homecoming was yestreday, i had invited her with a poster and flowers. She said yes and i was so happy. I could have been the happiest person on the earth. She told me to match her dress and i did, i bought a whole new suit, aswell as a corsage and buccaneer. At homecoming, after the first 30 mintues, she ditched me. She was dancing with her friends and left me behind. Just got up and left, and i stayed sitting there. I wanted to be there, Even then she started dancing with another guy. ANOTHER GUY! i felt horrible. i wanted to rip my skin off, puke and most importantly i wanted to cry. I kept it together and when she came to sit back down, it was like nothing had happened. She danced with me after and i was still hurt but i didnt show it. It hurt being thrown away like trash, She had posted me asking her to homecoming before but not the pictures we took at homecoming. They look good, however i assume its to keep herself open to talk to other guys. We still talk, i have to hold it in and not care because honestly id rather be friends than nothing. So i will pretend as if everythings okay, however when im alone, its just me and myself i know the truth. I am so hurt once again, my heart aches and everything hurts. i dont even feel like going to work, school, seeing family. im so done with life. has anyone ever had their heart broken twice by the same girl? Im not sure why i care so much, we never dated. Im such a loser. This is it, im never chasing that feeling again.
 

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dont take it to heart, its just one situation, if you got to that stage with one chick, you can do it again

especially if she's already spoken to guys before you :ogre::feelsgood::feelsgood:
 
dont take it to heart, its just one situation, if you got to that stage with one chick, you can do it again

especially if she's already spoken to guys before you :ogre::feelsgood::feelsgood:
I will try not to, but it hurts seeing a girl i thought was so valuable destroy herself in my mind, im the first person she had talked to seriously. im not sure what happened in that gap where we didnt talk but it changed her. I still hope for something with her even though i know itll make me a pathetic man.
 
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