Amnesia
Legend
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2019
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There was a PSLer meetup a while back and I was going to surprise the group going. I was really excited as I bought a fresh new pair of 4 inch elevator shoes, business casual, I shined them up too to look very spiffy. I wore some nice navy blue pants, a little longer in the leg than would be normal if this was a real business meeting, but of course I needed them to sag a bit longer in order to cover up the abnormally big heel that these shoes have.
Anyway, I donned a nice button up long sleeve shirt and only spend 30 minutes on my hair, applying generous amounts of pomade and hairspray as I jerked by hands through it to give it a wavy and puffy texture. I normally only shave using a foil shaver because it's good for day to day looks when you have nothing important going on, but this was my FIRST ever meetup with PSLers, especially big names in the community. So after the foil shave I spent some extra time on self care and soaked a wash cloth in steaming hot water. I wrung it out and let it sit on my skin for a few minutes before applying some shaving cream specifically meant for sensitive skin. I spent a good 20 minutes running the safety razor over my face.
I had been dieting hard and working on debloating the previous 4 weeks before this meeting so my face was looking pretty lean. As the razor moved over my cheekbones I could feel the difference in how much more pronounced my zygo felt, I got a slight smirk feeling the definition and knowing how good my hollow cheeks would look at the meetup. I was imagining in my head the other PSLers commenting on how striking the shadows of my bones would make with the overhead lighting of the venue.
After I was done with the close shave I did a few practice squinch poses in the mirror just to muscle memory max the perma squint pose that I would be implementing all night at the party. I checked out my profile view which looked great, however my 3/4 view was lacking a bit more than I had anticipated so I went to the freezer to grab a piece of ice out of the tray. Mind you I freeze my own ice from FILTERED water as to make sure no chemicals from tap water would be absorbed onto my delicate facial skin.
I rubbed the ice back and forth over my malar region and waited a few minutes. I stood in front of the mirror again and now looked at my 3/4 view. I couldn't hold back a smile as now I could see the full work of my debloating and leanmaxxing has wrought over the last month. My ogee curve was absolutely popping. I felt like I mogged O'Pry in that moment.
My nervousness turned into anticipation and excitement as I felt fully confident in meeting the other big name PSLers who would be present. I finally felt like I would be able to live up to the larger than life character of "Amnesia" that many would expect.
I drove in my car catching subtle glimpses of myself in my rear view mirror brimming with confidence and joy. As I rolled up to the building where the meet was suppose to take place I actually see someone I think I realize. Oh YES! It's @Lars2 I am grinning as I know him and I have traded fun posts over the years and even share a few inside jokes which is rare with someone over the internet.
I roll up slowly and wind my window down ready for a feeling of happiness like seeing an old best friend after a few years. I flash my bright to get his attention and Lars sees my car and starts walking over. I wind my window down with a big smile but then I realize if I'm smiling my hollow cheeks won't be visible. So as to make a memorable first impression I make a serious face with a slight smirk. Lars walks over, looking very suave. His dark curly hair flows with the slight breeze. Omg I can even see his hollow cheeks even under the sub-optimal LED street lights. I am actually impressed that he is NOT a catfish in any way.
This is it, the moment of my entire adult lifetime. Actually bringing my famous internet persona into the real world. I didn't think I would feel so good about something in my life, like being accepted by all the people you looked up to and shared formative moments with. As Lars leans in and looks at me he says "Hey I think I recognize you." My heart skips a beat. This is it, I will finally be accepted as a real peer with other guys I respect and think are GL.
Lars then says "You're Amnesia." There is a pregnant pause. "Bro you have no striking features, what even is this I am looking at." He grabs his stomach and starts laughing. Not even a fake laugh he genuinely is laughing at me. HE. IS. LAUGHING. AT. MY. FACE.
I sit there in shock, I feel like I just got punched in the stomach and had the wind knocked out of me. The levels of pain I am feeling are equivalent to if you walked in on your GF in bed with another man. I feel like my entire adult life is now for nothing, am I really that ugly? Has my BDD gone full circle to where I actually see myself so different that I actually have been able to deceive myself I am ACTUALLY GL. My embarrassment turns to anger, I feel my face turn red and I look over at Lars who is still laughing hysterically. I see his huge healthy palate smiling and I can't control myself.
I jump out of my car and walk over to him and grab him by the fucking throat. I pin him down to the ground with his laugh now having transformed to gasps. He is fighting hard to get me off him but thankfully my 4 inch elevator shoes are extra heavy and I am able to step on him while still gripping his throat. He has no ability to get me off him as I see the life slip from his eyes. I stand there realizing the gravity of the situation. I just killed someone. WTF. WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. What the fuck am I going to do, holy shit. LARS IS DEAD. Thankfully no one is around and without even consciously doing it I find myself grabbing Lars dead body and dragging him over to my car trunk. I pop it and hoist him up into the car.
I have now decided I am going to try to hide this terrible fact that I have just murdered someone. As I get back into my car I see Arvid now arriving and I NEED to leave before any other PSLers see me and can place me at the venue. I think to myself this can work since NO ONE knew I was going to be coming anyway, I was going to surprise them with my presence.
I did get away and make it back home, but the guilt has become too much to bare, I did it guys, this is why @Lars2 has been missing for so long, everyone wondering where he went. I have his lifeless body in some large multisealed plastic bags and I just can't take it emotionally. Even though he DID deserve it I want to apologize to the forum and the community for taking him away from all of you. And I guess this will be the final post for me ever as I am going to the police station right after I press Post Thread
GL to all you with your looksmaxxing journey and don't ever let you deceive yourself that you're better looking than you really are, the consequences could be deadly
Maybe I will post from jail follow all my socials @Amnesia_PSL
Anyway, I donned a nice button up long sleeve shirt and only spend 30 minutes on my hair, applying generous amounts of pomade and hairspray as I jerked by hands through it to give it a wavy and puffy texture. I normally only shave using a foil shaver because it's good for day to day looks when you have nothing important going on, but this was my FIRST ever meetup with PSLers, especially big names in the community. So after the foil shave I spent some extra time on self care and soaked a wash cloth in steaming hot water. I wrung it out and let it sit on my skin for a few minutes before applying some shaving cream specifically meant for sensitive skin. I spent a good 20 minutes running the safety razor over my face.
I had been dieting hard and working on debloating the previous 4 weeks before this meeting so my face was looking pretty lean. As the razor moved over my cheekbones I could feel the difference in how much more pronounced my zygo felt, I got a slight smirk feeling the definition and knowing how good my hollow cheeks would look at the meetup. I was imagining in my head the other PSLers commenting on how striking the shadows of my bones would make with the overhead lighting of the venue.
After I was done with the close shave I did a few practice squinch poses in the mirror just to muscle memory max the perma squint pose that I would be implementing all night at the party. I checked out my profile view which looked great, however my 3/4 view was lacking a bit more than I had anticipated so I went to the freezer to grab a piece of ice out of the tray. Mind you I freeze my own ice from FILTERED water as to make sure no chemicals from tap water would be absorbed onto my delicate facial skin.
I rubbed the ice back and forth over my malar region and waited a few minutes. I stood in front of the mirror again and now looked at my 3/4 view. I couldn't hold back a smile as now I could see the full work of my debloating and leanmaxxing has wrought over the last month. My ogee curve was absolutely popping. I felt like I mogged O'Pry in that moment.
My nervousness turned into anticipation and excitement as I felt fully confident in meeting the other big name PSLers who would be present. I finally felt like I would be able to live up to the larger than life character of "Amnesia" that many would expect.
I drove in my car catching subtle glimpses of myself in my rear view mirror brimming with confidence and joy. As I rolled up to the building where the meet was suppose to take place I actually see someone I think I realize. Oh YES! It's @Lars2 I am grinning as I know him and I have traded fun posts over the years and even share a few inside jokes which is rare with someone over the internet.
I roll up slowly and wind my window down ready for a feeling of happiness like seeing an old best friend after a few years. I flash my bright to get his attention and Lars sees my car and starts walking over. I wind my window down with a big smile but then I realize if I'm smiling my hollow cheeks won't be visible. So as to make a memorable first impression I make a serious face with a slight smirk. Lars walks over, looking very suave. His dark curly hair flows with the slight breeze. Omg I can even see his hollow cheeks even under the sub-optimal LED street lights. I am actually impressed that he is NOT a catfish in any way.
This is it, the moment of my entire adult lifetime. Actually bringing my famous internet persona into the real world. I didn't think I would feel so good about something in my life, like being accepted by all the people you looked up to and shared formative moments with. As Lars leans in and looks at me he says "Hey I think I recognize you." My heart skips a beat. This is it, I will finally be accepted as a real peer with other guys I respect and think are GL.
Lars then says "You're Amnesia." There is a pregnant pause. "Bro you have no striking features, what even is this I am looking at." He grabs his stomach and starts laughing. Not even a fake laugh he genuinely is laughing at me. HE. IS. LAUGHING. AT. MY. FACE.
I sit there in shock, I feel like I just got punched in the stomach and had the wind knocked out of me. The levels of pain I am feeling are equivalent to if you walked in on your GF in bed with another man. I feel like my entire adult life is now for nothing, am I really that ugly? Has my BDD gone full circle to where I actually see myself so different that I actually have been able to deceive myself I am ACTUALLY GL. My embarrassment turns to anger, I feel my face turn red and I look over at Lars who is still laughing hysterically. I see his huge healthy palate smiling and I can't control myself.
I jump out of my car and walk over to him and grab him by the fucking throat. I pin him down to the ground with his laugh now having transformed to gasps. He is fighting hard to get me off him but thankfully my 4 inch elevator shoes are extra heavy and I am able to step on him while still gripping his throat. He has no ability to get me off him as I see the life slip from his eyes. I stand there realizing the gravity of the situation. I just killed someone. WTF. WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. What the fuck am I going to do, holy shit. LARS IS DEAD. Thankfully no one is around and without even consciously doing it I find myself grabbing Lars dead body and dragging him over to my car trunk. I pop it and hoist him up into the car.
I have now decided I am going to try to hide this terrible fact that I have just murdered someone. As I get back into my car I see Arvid now arriving and I NEED to leave before any other PSLers see me and can place me at the venue. I think to myself this can work since NO ONE knew I was going to be coming anyway, I was going to surprise them with my presence.
I did get away and make it back home, but the guilt has become too much to bare, I did it guys, this is why @Lars2 has been missing for so long, everyone wondering where he went. I have his lifeless body in some large multisealed plastic bags and I just can't take it emotionally. Even though he DID deserve it I want to apologize to the forum and the community for taking him away from all of you. And I guess this will be the final post for me ever as I am going to the police station right after I press Post Thread
GL to all you with your looksmaxxing journey and don't ever let you deceive yourself that you're better looking than you really are, the consequences could be deadly
Maybe I will post from jail follow all my socials @Amnesia_PSL
