I have descended to the lowest level of sentience.

[MoggerGaston]

Just tried to think of hobbies I have, things I enjoy doing and feel good doing. Something I might look forward to.
And the only thing I could think of is doing drugs and feeling good from the chemicals.

JFL honestly.

I just did cocaine+ketamine+alcohol again alone in my room for the third weekend in a row or so. And was about to order some lsd and xtc.

Life might not be moving in the right direction.

I have to regain control of my life somehow and create happier habits.

But Life is incredibly difficult to navigate when you have childhood trauma. I have 7 years of self-improvement under my belt with no results.

Need to stop comparing myself to people that didn't experience childhood trauma. Childhood trauma is NOT something that makes you stronger.

'what doesnt kill you makes you stronger'
'my life difficulties made me tough'
'this abuse made me have an insane drive in life'

is all bs. for 99% of people with some sort of serious trauma, it results in their life quality, ambition, achievements deteriorating at a grand scale.
We all know of the models like adriana lima telling their audience 'they also got bullied for their looks in high school'. We all know that is cope and bs. So I am starting to think most of these people that say their 'rough childhood made them strong' is just bs.

'bro its in the past, just move on lol'
'lol brah get therapy, its fixed'
'what u still thinking about ur childhood? weirdo'
-normie delusions

Childhood trauma and the effects it has on life difficulty must not be understated.
nothing more to say

 

[Deleted member 24671]

not even a





























































WORD

 

[Deleted member 5815]

atleast you still have enough sentience to write threads you aren't a complete dopamine monkey yet

do you have a job or are you going to school? if it's a dead end job it wont ever get better when I was wageslaving I was so exhausted and lonely coming home that all I could do was watch porn or do drugs to feel better, it's the equivalent of suicide you give up your free will and your soul you become an animal

wish I had an answer but most men are doomed it's fucking over

 

[RAITEIII]

Just tried to think of hobbies I have, things I enjoy doing and feel good doing. Something I might look forward to.
And the only thing I could think of is doing drugs and feeling good from the chemicals.

JFL honestly.

I just did cocaine+ketamine+alcohol again alone in my room for the third weekend in a row or so. And was about to order some lsd and xtc.

Life might not be moving in the right direction.

I have to regain control of my life somehow and create happier habits.

But Life is incredibly difficult to navigate when you have childhood trauma. I have 7 years of self-improvement under my belt with no results.

Need to stop comparing myself to people that didn't experience childhood trauma. Childhood trauma is NOT something that makes you stronger.

'what doesnt kill you makes you stronger'
'my life difficulties made me tough'
'this abuse made me have an insane drive in life'

is all bs. for 99% of people with some sort of serious trauma, it results in their life quality, ambition, achievements deteriorating at a grand scale.
We all know of the models like adriana lima telling their audience 'they also got bullied for their looks in high school'. We all know that is cope and bs. So I am starting to think most of these people that say their 'rough childhood made them strong' is just bs.

'bro its in the past, just move on lol'
'lol brah get therapy, its fixed'
'what u still thinking about ur childhood? weirdo'
-normie delusions

Childhood trauma and the effects it has on life difficulty must not be understated.
nothing more to say

You've got a point.

 

[Bashan]

Suffering might drive or crush you. I know a dude that suffered like a motherfucker (illness) but he ascended like a motherfucker, I'm talking stupid ascension from a frail bitch to one of the strongest people on earth (I said it) he just doesn't look left or right, he says it's the best thing that ever happened to him and all those copes.

Me, I might have roped. It's really depend on the person but I agree that suffering / trauma is almost always a nuke to your quality of life in the long run. You need the right type of suffering, small and consistent. If it's too big, GG.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Suffering might drive or crush you. I know a dude that suffered like a motherfucker (illness) but he ascended like a motherfucker, I'm talking stupid ascension from a frail bitch to one of the strongest people on earth (I said it) he just doesn't look left or right, he says it's the best thing that ever happened to him and all those copes.

And then it's still the question whether that person is actually happier and more satisfied than the average person without any trauma.

You see so many looksmaxxers on this forum that ascend in looks, but they remain nervous wrecks with fragile egos. To the outside it looks like ascended, but on the inside they are the same.

Me, I might have roped. It's really depend on the person but I agree that suffering / trauma is almost always a nuke to your quality of life in the long run. You need the right type of suffering, small and consistent. If it's too big, GG.

I think that if trauma is combined with also some very good experiences, then those 2 together could be beneficial. But this is extremely rare.

Think like: A kid that gets pushed extremely hard by his parents to become a top tennis-player. He hates his life, trains hard every day, but ends up making it in the end and competing on an international level. That success combined with the trauma could fuel him.

But 999/1000 of those types of kids that get pushed to train hard, will not make it. They end up at some mediocre league where they perform well, but nothing exceptional. End up dissapppearing in obscurity with trauma that will haunt them for life.

 

[MoggerGaston]

atleast you still have enough sentience to write threads you aren't a complete dopamine monkey yet

do you have a job or are you going to school? if it's a dead end job it wont ever get better when I was wageslaving I was so exhausted and lonely coming home that all I could do was watch porn or do drugs to feel better, it's the equivalent of suicide you give up your free will and your soul you become an animal

wish I had an answer but most men are doomed it's fucking over

I have a shitty job that pays the bills, but I am 'officially' a full-time student still. But been unmotivated and failing every course for years.

My life is pure shit, I have nothing fun going on. No social contact, no family, no real hobbies beyond self improvement.

I get home from work/studies and think: 'yeah now I need to watch my calories and go to the gym to become a more valuable person.'
that type of shit just fucks you up and grinds you down.

 

[sergeant blackpill]

I am traumatized by inceldom thats why i do drugs in my basement all day too

 

[Bashan]

And then it's still the question whether that person is actually happier and more satisfied than the average person without any trauma.

I believe he is. He believed in god (deeply) he's very strong physically, very very. Look good, has a wife now. I don't know him crazy good but he's doing fine and focusing on his hobbies and shit, he's a very busy individual.

And the examples you gave after that it's literally me vs him. I don't think I could've made it like him. To me it's unreal fit of strength and the cloud is still over his head because it can come back, but he live and live well.

 

[MoggerGaston]

I am traumatized by inceldom thats why i do drugs in my basement all day too

Same.

I just met my house-mate and told him the drug-cocktail that I was on. He said he didn't understand why I wouldn't go clubbing or partying if I was doing drugs like that.

But for me, social interaction with people that I perceive as unfriendly towards me, doesn't make sense.

It's just so fucked.

 

[MoggerGaston]

I believe he is. He believed in god (deeply) he's very strong physically, very very. Look good, has a wife now. I don't know him crazy good but he's doing fine and focusing on his hobbies and shit, he's a very busy individual.

I am just thinking of all the high-achievers that end up committing suicide out of nowhere despite the success they have. Those people obviously didn't enjoy their lives, despite that their trauma fueled them to get to the absolute top of society.

 

[Bashan]

I am just thinking of all the high-achievers that end up committing suicide out of nowhere despite the success they have. Those people obviously didn't enjoy their lives, despite that their trauma fueled them to get to the absolute top of society.

I also think that it depends. For example this dude I told you about saw success from his hobbies so he kept on doing them till he got into the elite territory. That's a good cope and you will be stupid good because of your trauma. If you have Trauma AND you have a hard time doing anything (no talent) now that can break you faster than just a normal dude. There's a lot of ways to approach this and I believe we both understand the how and why in our heads.

He seems happy, I don't know if he truly is. I'm talking about him because it's the most extreme thing that I've seen with the people I knew. But you know, I believe he had good parents, had god from a young age, friends, etc. So..

 

[Bashan]

Trauma + Talent = Elite (Let's say) your fuel works.
Traume + Meh results = Further confirm that you're a loser, lesser results than average.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Trauma + Talent = Elite (Let's say) your fuel works.
Traume + Meh results = Further confirm that you're a loser, lesser results than average.

Depends a lot on your environment aswell I think, and the time you do it in.

If I go to personal experience: I was an extremely smart kid and performed in the top 1% academically always.

But at 16yo I was already getting severely demotivated by the fact that performing extremely well academically meant absolutely nothing, wasn't appreciated. People only cared about you fulfilling the minimum requirements.There was no guidance or mentoring towards something that was of any value.
Was just told to just go to university. Which I did, ended up in the same type of vibe and my talents going nowhere.

Not wanting to brag but I honestly believe that at the age of 18 I was not just an extremely smart kid, but also a very creative problem solver with very large ambitions and drive. I could get into a type of mental-zone where my brain could go absolutely wild. But it all went down to the shitter. Idk what's left of it anymore in my current-state, probably just insignificant remnants.

I could see an alternative universe in which I had a mentor/recruiter of some company seeing my talent for what it is. And putting faith/trust/admiration in me and encouraging me to excell. Unlike university where I felt like I was being encouraged to rot.

But yeah, idk. Overall, trauma just fucks you up I think.

 

[apocalypse]

I needed so little growing up
Just a word of validation here and there
But I got none

 

[ReadBooksEveryday]

Your arguement is just the polar opposite of 'Hard times made me strong'
In reality its mostly a balance
Some people get for the better cuz of their hardships, and some for the worse

Incels need to stop making everything so black and white

 

[Bashan]

Depends a lot on your environment aswell I think, and the time you do it in.

If I go to personal experience: I was an extremely smart kid and performed in the top 1% academically always.

But at 16yo I was already getting severely demotivated by the fact that performing extremely well academically meant absolutely nothing, wasn't appreciated. People only cared about you fulfilling the minimum requirements.There was no guidance or mentoring towards something that was of any value.
Was just told to just go to university. Which I did, ended up in the same type of vibe and my talents going nowhere.

Not wanting to brag but I honestly believe that at the age of 18 I was not just an extremely smart kid, but also a very creative problem solver with very large ambitions and drive. I could get into a type of mental-zone where my brain could go absolutely wild. But it all went down to the shitter. Idk what's left of it anymore in my current-state, probably just insignificant remnants.

I could see an alternative universe in which I had a mentor/recruiter of some company seeing my talent for what it is. And putting faith/trust/admiration in me and encouraging me to excell. Unlike university where I felt like I was being encouraged to rot.

But yeah, idk. Overall, trauma just fucks you up I think.

You got pushed to do something you had no passion for. If you really wanted to become a doctor you might have had way more fuel than normies who study 2 hours a day on Adderall. This is why humans are very different because you have all those elements. You were good at something that gave you zero dopamine, but what if you enjoyed it? what if you took Tennis and enjoyed it and being good at it? yeah you need the luck to encounter something like that too. Tho if you're driven you might try more things leading to you actually finding something.

 

[Deleted member 16501]

Same.

I just met my house-mate and told him the drug-cocktail that I was on. He said he didn't understand why I wouldn't go clubbing or partying if I was doing drugs like that.

But for me, social interaction with people that I perceive as unfriendly towards me, doesn't make sense.

It's just so fucked.

Have you heard of the enneagram personality typing system?
I believe you should check it out, may help you like it helped me.

I believe you are an enneagram 4

they tell you the things you need to do to ascend in mental health levels

 

[MoggerGaston]

Have you heard of the enneagram personality typing system?
I believe you should check it out, may help you like it helped me.

I believe you are an enneagram 4

they tell you the things you need to do to ascend in mental health levels

ill check it out. never heard of this

 

[Deleted member 20652]

Over for us

//Thomas DOM

 

[RAITEIII]

You win. I will stop coping that this mental trauma can be perceived as smth positive. My daily mental breakdowns say otherwise. But not everything is negative, I want to believe.

 

[RAITEIII]

I used to be embarrassingly naive and only through trauma and abuse I ended up becoming more aware of what people can do. So that's a form of a way in which I guess I have "improved".

 

[MoggerGaston]

You win. I will stop coping that this mental trauma can be perceived as smth positive. My daily mental breakdowns say otherwise. But not everything is negative, I want to believe.

Its rough to admit this and live with it.

Similar harshness as something like truly accepting you are ugly.
99% ppl cope by under-rating the importance of looks and thus their flawed appearance is fine. This is not the same as acceptance.

 

[RAITEIII]

Its rough to admit this and live with it.

Similar harshness as something like truly accepting you are ugly.
99% ppl cope by under-rating the importance of looks and thus their flawed appearance is fine. This is not the same as acceptance.

I accept and live with it. But it's not a "has happened thing". It lives with u everyday. I force myself to be motivated. But I feel so overwhelmingly messed up inside that it all comes down.

It's worse when we feel so alone. At least we can talk here.