I have everything and yet i’m pathetic

[GaethjeCell]

I grew up with money, my parents got me a car and i live in a huge house with 2 parents and meals everyday. and even then i still feel like i have nothing. i cry myself to sleep every now and then because i have nobody to talk to and nothing to help me. Every hobby i have ive lost interest in or gotten worse at. i cant sit down and do one thing at a time for more than 30 minutes. And even though i love my parents i hate them at the same time. my mom tries to control my life and she doesn’t trust me, just earlier today she told me she would drug test me for weed (i’ve never been around weed or anyone who’s smoked it outside of school) and my dad just isn’t around and when he is, he’s just cleaning and fixing things with never any time to go out (not that i resent him for any of that i just don’t have much of any feelings towards him). and finally myself, i can’t sleep, sit still, be smart, make new friends, or get in a relationship. i rarely talk to girls and when i do it feels like they just want the conversation to end quickly. I have all this money around me and there’s hundreds of millions of people who have it worse than me, yet they’re doing better. i don’t know why but im so pathetic to the point where no money in the world or opportunities could help me. i’ve thought about committing for the past few days and recently started cutting myself just to feel pain and make me not want to take my life. Yet every night i lie alone with nothing in my head i get closer and closer to swallowing a bottle of pills and locking my door