Nicki
Iron
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2025
- Posts
- 20
- Reputation
- 6
About three years ago, I got deeply involved in BP forums and websites during the mainstream looksmaxxing wave. I want to state I'm 16 I live in a very rich family, look good and am tall yet still have problems and infact ones that don't have clear solutions. Since 2023, I’ve been through every phase bluepill, redpill and now blackpill. After experiencing all of it, I’ve learned one thing: looks are the biggest problem. I wouldn't consider myself a greycel or a complete incel although it genuinely pisses me off seeing people who haven’t lived it try to claim anything else matters more. Even though I had money NOBODY looked or respected me because of it. I’m objectively a worse person than I used to be I openly mock the girls I sleep with and none of them care. In fact, multiple of them told me it's fine and still want to be my girlfriend because I'm "hot". People let me get away with things I would never have even thought about doing before. In my past relationships, I was just being myself, and girls still found ways to leave, cheat or reject me EVEN WITH MONEY. I’ve opened up to my dad, and he’s ashamed that I’m not his ideal son and mocks the fact my hair is long, that I look feminine and I have everything given to me. He and other people look down on me because I was born into the life he created. Yet the moment his friends or random girls compliment me, he suddenly acts proud. It’s honestly laughable, even my own father proves BP. He treats me like he hates me until someone praises my looks, and then everything changes. That’s seriously messed up. If I didn’t look good right now, I’m convinced my life would be way worse than it already has been. The contrast in between how I was treated before and how I’m treated now has made me lose respect for humanity altogether and it made me realize money and height don't matter when you're ugly. I wouldn't even say I have a bad personality I'm just very introverted. I’m deeply depressed and constantly afraid of slipping back into the life I once had. The only thing I have which are my looks, height and wealth haven’t helped me with maintaining ANY meaningful relationships. I know this sounds like I'm a pick me but you really need to think from my POV. I’m completely alone and isolated. I have no real friends besides one I talk to online which has backstabbed me multiple times whether it was out of spite or jealousy. I feel like the devil talking about my problems because everyone disregards them and won't even hear me out simply because I have things given to me. I feel evil talking about my successes because I didn't truly work for them. I honestly just leech off people and feel like I have no real purpose in my life. I don’t know if anyone else deals with this, or if I’m genuinely alone in it. Whenever I try to explain my loneliness people are disgusted, disregard what I say and have pure hatred and envy in their eyes. Things they commonly say are "Oh well you don't even understand the half of it" "Kid trust me you have it easy" "Just live your life". I feel like only other HTN+ or rich people who’ve lived through the same progression I have can truly understand or sympathize with what I’m going through. I thought looking better would improve my mental health but it really just made me hate humanity more. TBH I sympathize with characters like Boruto or Gojo simply because I understand them in a way and all the hate they get feels relatable. In the end, reading this opened my eyes. I’ve realized that I’m the problem I just don’t know where to begin changing it or if I even can. Please tell me if I'm a complete loser or if my problem really isn't that serious. I just need to hear what some people who actually understand being left out, bullied, and praised simply because of looks, height or money think about this.
