slayerToBe
Silver
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2022
- Posts
- 706
- Reputation
- 1,123
I fucking hate my life rn. I'm in school and I chose all honors classes and 3 APs (highiqcel), and while I'm not necessarily doing bad, I find it fairly easy (high workload) and I got all As last semester. But this semester, I have no motivation to do school work I am not interested in whatsoever. Whenever I have something due, I just wait last minute and pull something out of my ass. I somehow don't have a grade below a B.
I don't know exactly why I have no motivation, last year I wanted to do well in school and get into a good college, but now I have no desire to do so. I realize that I will be slaving away in high school, just to slave away even harder in a prestigious college.
Furthermore, I wanted to study engineering, but I have heard that most engineering and STEM students have no social life and are incel in college, and I do not want to descend even further. While the salary is very good, I don't want to slave away only to become a betabux.
In fact I have no motivation to do most things. Whenever I have free time, I generally don't do shit and would just prefer to be in my room. I should have my driving permit by now, but I don't even have motivation for that. I have no purpose in life and I don't feel like there is anything worth doing.
I have a small group of friends, but I rarely hang out with them or see them outside school. I am not often included in their discussions or hangouts. They don't often start conversations with me.
The only thing I am interested in is looksmaxing. I have tried skincare and Cerave and all that shit, didn't do a damn thing for me. The only thing that I look forward to is my calisthenics routine which I do 3 days a week that only lasts about 30 minutes, so it isn't much.
My major physical flaw is my height, as I am a weak 5'7. I am only 15, so I still have a chance to grow taller, but I can't do shit to guarantee a height boost. I also have a small frame, which makes the lack of height even worse. I have at least a decent face, but my height and frame absolutely cripple my attractiveness. I am 17% bodyfat, but I am reluctant to leanmaxx right now, as I don't want to compromise my growth. Height has become the only thing I truly care about.
For years I have been aware that my overall life is going in a downward trajectory. I have lost most of my motivation and will, and I keep telling myself it will get better, but it hasn't. I'm afraid that it never will.
I don't know exactly why I have no motivation, last year I wanted to do well in school and get into a good college, but now I have no desire to do so. I realize that I will be slaving away in high school, just to slave away even harder in a prestigious college.
Furthermore, I wanted to study engineering, but I have heard that most engineering and STEM students have no social life and are incel in college, and I do not want to descend even further. While the salary is very good, I don't want to slave away only to become a betabux.
In fact I have no motivation to do most things. Whenever I have free time, I generally don't do shit and would just prefer to be in my room. I should have my driving permit by now, but I don't even have motivation for that. I have no purpose in life and I don't feel like there is anything worth doing.
I have a small group of friends, but I rarely hang out with them or see them outside school. I am not often included in their discussions or hangouts. They don't often start conversations with me.
The only thing I am interested in is looksmaxing. I have tried skincare and Cerave and all that shit, didn't do a damn thing for me. The only thing that I look forward to is my calisthenics routine which I do 3 days a week that only lasts about 30 minutes, so it isn't much.
My major physical flaw is my height, as I am a weak 5'7. I am only 15, so I still have a chance to grow taller, but I can't do shit to guarantee a height boost. I also have a small frame, which makes the lack of height even worse. I have at least a decent face, but my height and frame absolutely cripple my attractiveness. I am 17% bodyfat, but I am reluctant to leanmaxx right now, as I don't want to compromise my growth. Height has become the only thing I truly care about.
For years I have been aware that my overall life is going in a downward trajectory. I have lost most of my motivation and will, and I keep telling myself it will get better, but it hasn't. I'm afraid that it never will.
