I legitimately think I'll die young. I don't think I'll ever end up as a elderly

NumbThePain

NumbThePain

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I just think all bad luck happened to me my entire life. I legitimately think God don't want me to win at anything, and wants me to throw in the towel already. And I never see I'll make it old, Imagine being an elderly, I just don't see it happen. I don't even think I will reach 40 or 30

My whole bloodline dying, and I'm the only fucker left. Feeling worthless, is this God thing really working?

Who can relate? Let me know how you feel (I don't condone anything, just sharing my experience and how I feel)


I'm ugly (this very reason summoning all these things below)

I'm retarded
I'm poor
I'm alone
 
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@TRUE_CEL @Emeraldglass @0hMan
 
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keep thinking it and you'll make it happen
 
I'm ugly (this very reason summoning all these things below)
I'm retarded
I'm poor
I'm alone
But what are your strengths, what are you good at?
 
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But what are your strengths, what are you good at?
Nothing, I see somewhat potential in myself while thinking, or writing, but I can't execute it irl
 
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I'm ugly (this very reason summoning all these things below)
You are good looking.

Also even if you were ugly that has nothing to do with becoming elderly
 
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You are good looking.

Also even if you were ugly that has nothing to do with becoming elderly
Thnx, but women don't find so. I'm also super autistic I think
 
Thnx, but women don't find so. I'm also super autistic I think
Okay, and what does that have to do with being poor and alone (I assume alone meaning no friends)
 
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That's what nature intended, none of us inferiors were supposed to survive passed infanthood let alone reach elderhood
 
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God has favorites and when you realize that you also realize that you are not one of them.

My life has been a complete hell since the day i was born, nothing remarkable has happened to me.

Nothing good, i’ve been bullied, publicly ridiculed and traumatized for the rest of my life.

I know my self, and since i do i also know that i will be killing my self somewhere between the age of 25 and 30.

As soon as my looks start to fade i’ll be done. And crazy to say but i don’t even want children.

I don’t want to ruin another persons life, i don’t want him to be born like me and suffer what i did.

I’ll try to lose my virginity before 25 and call it quits by then.
 
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God has favorites and when you realize that you also realize that you are not one of them.

My life has been a complete hell since the day i was born, nothing remarkable has happened to me.

Nothing good, i’ve been bullied, publicly ridiculed and traumatized for the rest of my life.

I know my self, and since i do i also know that i will be killing my self somewhere between the age of 25 and 30.

As soon as my looks start to fade i’ll be done. And crazy to say but i don’t even want children.

I don’t want to ruin another persons life, i don’t want him to be born like me and suffer what i did.

I’ll try to lose my virginity before 25 and call it quits by then.
Hows your daily life affected by it? Do you have some sort of distraction that makes you happy?
 
Nothing, I see somewhat potential in myself while thinking, or writing, but I can't execute it irl
But what do you like to do, what are your passions or hobbies?
 
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Hows your daily life affected by it?
It gives me somewhat of a peace knowing that this will be over in some years (i’m 19)

Knowing that there a “quit” button it’s something that gives me tranquility
Do you have some sort of distraction that makes you happy?
No.

First it was this forum because i could talk to people that share my same destiny but now its getting even hard here to express my self.

I coped smoking, but i quoted yesterday so now its either i will cope eating good foods and get extremely fat or continue to eat nothing and find a way to not rope.

I have 4 roommates i live with rn so talking to them everyday makes me less depressed and suicidal.

3 weeks ago before moving here with them, when i worked 12h a day with no friends and no family to talk to i was on the verge of suicide. I planned it and was looking for someone who had fentanyl to kms with.

Rn im on cooldown, even tho i had a girl i was talking with last week and i had to end things after she didn’t want to block a guy that messaged her after 2 years.

I really liked her and we were supposed to meet up and have sex this christmas but i guess it’s all over now.

Thinking about it makes me extremely sad and suicidal too, so i keep my self somewhat occupied
 
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But what do you like to do, what are your passions or hobbies?
Gym and passionate about diets and traveling in cities/countries
 
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It gives me somewhat of a peace knowing that this will be over in some years (i’m 19)

Knowing that there a “quit” button it’s something that gives me tranquility

No.

First it was this forum because i could talk to people that share my same destiny but now its getting even hard here to express my self.

I coped smoking, but i quoted yesterday so now its either i will cope eating good foods and get extremely fat or continue to eat nothing and find a way to not rope.

I have 4 roommates i live with rn so talking to them everyday makes me less depressed and suicidal.

3 weeks ago before moving here with them, when i worked 12h a day with no friends and no family to talk to i was on the verge of suicide. I planned it and was looking for someone who had fentanyl to kms with.

Rn im on cooldown, even tho i had a girl i was talking with last week and i had to end things after she didn’t want to block a guy that messaged her after 2 years.

I really liked her and we were supposed to meet up and have sex this christmas but i guess it’s all over now.

Thinking about it makes me extremely sad and suicidal too, so i keep my self somewhat occupied
Sounds like a brutal experience. And smoking is a good cope, I do it too.

I hope you do better, and find peace and happiness in life.

Bro, forget about her. She didn't respect you at all as a man. She did it to keep her options open and nothing more (obviously I don't how he looks like. If he's better looking than you or taller then it's over yeah)
 
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I just think all bad luck happened to me my entire life. I legitimately think God don't want me to win at anything, and wants me to throw in the towel already. And I never see I'll make it old, Imagine being an elderly, I just don't see it happen. I don't even think I will reach 40 or 30

My whole bloodline dying, and I'm the only fucker left. Feeling worthless, is this God thing really working?

Who can relate? Let me know how you feel (I don't condone anything, just sharing my experience and how I feel)


I'm ugly (this very reason summoning all these things below)

I'm retarded
I'm poor
I'm alone
At least you are not short boyo
 
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Thnx, but women don't find so. I'm also super autistic I think
As a diagnosed aspie i can confirm that autism outweighs everything that’s good about you im 6’2 and normies typically outside looksmaxx because according to users here im subhuman. I have been told im gl but girls have always treated me like shit. Look up autistic james. Guy looks like a model a genuine model but is severely retarded and has the mindset of a 5 year old and needs constant care imagine being that guy but NT
 
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As a diagnosed aspie i can confirm that autism outweighs everything that’s good about you im 6’2 and normies typically outside looksmaxx because according to users here im subhuman. I have been told im gl but girls have always treated me like shit. Look up autistic james. Guy looks like a model a genuine model but is severely retarded and has the mindset of a 5 year old and needs constant care imagine being that guy but NT
It really does, it ruins your life basically. In your head you know you can do better, but you can't execute it. Just like talking to someone irl I sound like an aspie, but in my head I had it prepared waaayy better.

Now that you mention it, I watched that video for the first time today. Guy is an absolute mogger, he looks kinda like O Pry and Chico. Some blackpilled comments under that video too
 
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I just think all bad luck happened to me my entire life. I legitimately think God don't want me to win at anything, and wants me to throw in the towel already. And I never see I'll make it old, Imagine being an elderly, I just don't see it happen. I don't even think I will reach 40 or 30

My whole bloodline dying, and I'm the only fucker left. Feeling worthless, is this God thing really working?

Who can relate? Let me know how you feel (I don't condone anything, just sharing my experience and how I feel)


I'm ugly (this very reason summoning all these things below)

I'm retarded
I'm poor
I'm alone
if you still believe in god in world like this then theres no hope for you tbh
imagine this is your name instead of bgm's
 
Now that you mention it, I watched that video for the first time today. Guy is an absolute mogger, he looks kinda like O Pry and Chico. Some blackpilled comments under that video too
Imagine what his life would be like if he was neurotypical
 
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As a diagnosed aspie i can confirm that autism outweighs everything that’s good about you im 6’2 and normies typically outside looksmaxx because according to users here im subhuman. I have been told im gl but girls have always treated me like shit. Look up autistic james. Guy looks like a model a genuine model but is severely retarded and has the mindset of a 5 year old and needs constant care imagine being that guy but NT
Did you get diagnosed by a psych? I've been thinking about seeing one.

My cousin is majorly autistic.
 
Did you get diagnosed by a psych? I've been thinking about seeing one.

My cousin is majorly autistic.
I got diagnosed at 4 so i don’t remember probably yeah. I think my symptoms were more noticeable back then
 
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I got diagnosed at 4 so i don’t remember probably yeah. I think my symptoms were more noticeable back then
Same with my cousin, he used to be severely autistic when he was a kid; made my relatives suicidal. He's a lot better now.
 
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Same with my cousin, he used to be severely autistic when he was a kid; made my relatives suicidal. He's a lot better now.
Im sorry to hear that. That’s terrible bro. I was well behaved at home when i was younger but school had always been a different issue for me
 
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Im sorry to hear that. That’s terrible bro. I was well behaved at home when i was younger but school had always been a different issue for me
Thanks. He's one of those child prodigy aspies rn. He doesn't have those spasms like he used to.

According to my mother cutting off gluten for him helped control his outbursts lol. I'm not sure if it's true but he's better now anyways.
 
@TRUE_CEL @Emeraldglass @0hMan
Thinking about death is a natural part of life because we all harbor a fear of the unknown. However, fearing that you will die early is baseless. The fact that people around you haved passed away early does not determine the length of your own life. Instead of letting thoughts of death overwhelm you, channel them into improving your life and pushing harder. We all share the inevitability of death, the uncertainty of when it will happen makes it important to make the most of the time we have.
 
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least self hating .org user:
 
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yes indeed will rope next year
 
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my father started going grey early but my natural haircolor is ash blond so I can't even tell if it's happening or not.
 
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I just think all bad luck happened to me my entire life. I legitimately think God don't want me to win at anything, and wants me to throw in the towel already. And I never see I'll make it old, Imagine being an elderly, I just don't see it happen. I don't even think I will reach 40 or 30

My whole bloodline dying, and I'm the only fucker left. Feeling worthless, is this God thing really working?

Who can relate? Let me know how you feel (I don't condone anything, just sharing my experience and how I feel)


I'm ugly (this very reason summoning all these things below)

I'm retarded
I'm poor
I'm alone
Do you really want to know?

So bet it. But I warn you, some things are better left above ground.

You're 43 years old wearing a face mask and towel over your head. You're skin is withered and your clothes are filthy. Finally, the Ranch will allow you a cot.

You go to the white building and the sentinels allow you inside. There's an escalator that takes you down. You step on the platform guarded by an elderly man. He nods at you and down you go. Ten levels underground — The Ranch.

You're excited. You know this is the best thing that has happened to you in a long time.
 
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