I let him use me, what's wrong with me

D

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all fictional scenarios and social experiment
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I started a new job some months back and happened to meet a tall (like 6'5'') dravidian guy that worked near my workplace. I quickly developed a crush on this guy and he seemed like he liked me too which was unbelievable to me, I didn't think someone as handsome as him would be interested with me. After a while I learned that he was a notorious player. That made me weary of his intentions and for that reason when he asked me out I said no. He kept insisting we hang out for WEEKS after and that he "Actually liked me and that it wasn't like that". To the point that I actually though that I might have been wrong about him.

I agreed to go by his house and watch a movie (I actually believed we were going to watch a movie, I'm that naive). He had told me his house was nearby a metro station, I used the sub to get there and he picked me up with his car. (Turns out his house was anything but nearby, and I wasn't familiar enough with his neighborhood). That should have been red flag number one.

At his house I was getting weird vibes from him, which made me uncomfortable. Unfortunately the movie that we wanted to watch wasn't playing so we just sat on his bed, talking to each other. I wanted to get to know him better, he actually wasn't trying to hold the conversation at all. So it became somewhat awkward relatively quick. He was looking at me funny too, I don't really know how to describe it, it was like how a predator would watch it's prey. Then he pulled me in for a kiss and things escalated. And that's where I find my problem, I didn't really want to move so fast but, I had a crush on him and I don't know, I guess I didn't want him not to like me? He is also much older than me with more experience, so I assumed I should let him take the lead?

When the time came though, he tried to put it in bareback, and I stopped him letting him know that I thought we should wear a condom, and he kinda blew me off? He said "what are you afraid of? That you'll get pregnant?" In a tone that suggested that that would have been ridiculous. And I told him that wasn't the only problem he smiled kind of devilishly and said "that you'll catch something?" And that shut me up... I felt kind of embarrassed at that moment and as a result I didn't press it further. But I just couldn't stop thinking of that. He also pushed for a blowjob and pressed my head down several times. When it was time he just finished on my stomach. Didn't mind about me climaxing at all. Then at the end before getting off the bed to grab a towel, he booped my nose all cutesy like, which makes me even more angry for some reason.

I was taken advantage of wasn't I? How did I allow myself to stoop to that? Because of some stupid crush, I threw my self esteem out of the window.

Looking back at it I should have definitely walked out the moment he made fun of me about the whole condom thing but he was basically on top of me and I didn't know how to return to the station.

When I returned home I started crying and right now I feel so numb.

Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I speak up? He seems to expect that we will meet up again. And I don't know what to tell him. Do I open up? Letting him know that I feel shitty about the whole situation? Do I just ghost him? How do I stop this feeling of numbness? I suddenly feel so lost and so disappointed with myself, but yet I get so wet thinking about him
 
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You added the Dravidian part
 
Let's not make this about race okay a woman was used
 
Op are you gay
 
I started a new job some months back and happened to meet a tall (like 6'5'') dravidian guy that worked near my workplace. I quickly developed a crush on this guy and he seemed like he liked me too which was unbelievable to me, I didn't think someone as handsome as him would be interested with me. After a while I learned that he was a notorious player. That made me weary of his intentions and for that reason when he asked me out I said no. He kept insisting we hang out for WEEKS after and that he "Actually liked me and that it wasn't like that". To the point that I actually though that I might have been wrong about him.

I agreed to go by his house and watch a movie (I actually believed we were going to watch a movie, I'm that naive). He had told me his house was nearby a metro station, I used the sub to get there and he picked me up with his car. (Turns out his house was anything but nearby, and I wasn't familiar enough with his neighborhood). That should have been red flag number one.

At his house I was getting weird vibes from him, which made me uncomfortable. Unfortunately the movie that we wanted to watch wasn't playing so we just sat on his bed, talking to each other. I wanted to get to know him better, he actually wasn't trying to hold the conversation at all. So it became somewhat awkward relatively quick. He was looking at me funny too, I don't really know how to describe it, it was like how a predator would watch it's prey. Then he pulled me in for a kiss and things escalated. And that's where I find my problem, I didn't really want to move so fast but, I had a crush on him and I don't know, I guess I didn't want him not to like me? He is also much older than me with more experience, so I assumed I should let him take the lead?

When the time came though, he tried to put it in bareback, and I stopped him letting him know that I thought we should wear a condom, and he kinda blew me off? He said "what are you afraid of? That you'll get pregnant?" In a tone that suggested that that would have been ridiculous. And I told him that wasn't the only problem he smiled kind of devilishly and said "that you'll catch something?" And that shut me up... I felt kind of embarrassed at that moment and as a result I didn't press it further. But I just couldn't stop thinking of that. He also pushed for a blowjob and pressed my head down several times. When it was time he just finished on my stomach. Didn't mind about me climaxing at all. Then at the end before getting off the bed to grab a towel, he booped my nose all cutesy like, which makes me even more angry for some reason.

I was taken advantage of wasn't I? How did I allow myself to stoop to that? Because of some stupid crush, I threw my self esteem out of the window.

Looking back at it I should have definitely walked out the moment he made fun of me about the whole condom thing but he was basically on top of me and I didn't know how to return to the station.

When I returned home I started crying and right now I feel so numb.

Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I speak up? He seems to expect that we will meet up again. And I don't know what to tell him. Do I open up? Letting him know that I feel shitty about the whole situation? Do I just ghost him? How do I stop this feeling of numbness? I suddenly feel so lost and so disappointed with myself, but yet I get so wet thinking about him
Faggot
 
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I started a new job some months back and happened to meet a tall (like 6'5'') dravidian guy that worked near my workplace. I quickly developed a crush on this guy and he seemed like he liked me too which was unbelievable to me, I didn't think someone as handsome as him would be interested with me. After a while I learned that he was a notorious player. That made me weary of his intentions and for that reason when he asked me out I said no. He kept insisting we hang out for WEEKS after and that he "Actually liked me and that it wasn't like that". To the point that I actually though that I might have been wrong about him.

I agreed to go by his house and watch a movie (I actually believed we were going to watch a movie, I'm that naive). He had told me his house was nearby a metro station, I used the sub to get there and he picked me up with his car. (Turns out his house was anything but nearby, and I wasn't familiar enough with his neighborhood). That should have been red flag number one.

At his house I was getting weird vibes from him, which made me uncomfortable. Unfortunately the movie that we wanted to watch wasn't playing so we just sat on his bed, talking to each other. I wanted to get to know him better, he actually wasn't trying to hold the conversation at all. So it became somewhat awkward relatively quick. He was looking at me funny too, I don't really know how to describe it, it was like how a predator would watch it's prey. Then he pulled me in for a kiss and things escalated. And that's where I find my problem, I didn't really want to move so fast but, I had a crush on him and I don't know, I guess I didn't want him not to like me? He is also much older than me with more experience, so I assumed I should let him take the lead?

When the time came though, he tried to put it in bareback, and I stopped him letting him know that I thought we should wear a condom, and he kinda blew me off? He said "what are you afraid of? That you'll get pregnant?" In a tone that suggested that that would have been ridiculous. And I told him that wasn't the only problem he smiled kind of devilishly and said "that you'll catch something?" And that shut me up... I felt kind of embarrassed at that moment and as a result I didn't press it further. But I just couldn't stop thinking of that. He also pushed for a blowjob and pressed my head down several times. When it was time he just finished on my stomach. Didn't mind about me climaxing at all. Then at the end before getting off the bed to grab a towel, he booped my nose all cutesy like, which makes me even more angry for some reason.

I was taken advantage of wasn't I? How did I allow myself to stoop to that? Because of some stupid crush, I threw my self esteem out of the window.

Looking back at it I should have definitely walked out the moment he made fun of me about the whole condom thing but he was basically on top of me and I didn't know how to return to the station.

When I returned home I started crying and right now I feel so numb.

Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I speak up? He seems to expect that we will meet up again. And I don't know what to tell him. Do I open up? Letting him know that I feel shitty about the whole situation? Do I just ghost him? How do I stop this feeling of numbness? I suddenly feel so lost and so disappointed with myself, but yet I get so wet thinking about him
craziest larp so far on this site
 
Gay thread. Love it.
 
where is this from op
 
where is this from op
craziest larp so far on this site
its just posts I find on reddit

Overheard fiancées friends talking about her rapist having a ‘massive’ dick

little over a year ago my fiancée Abbie was raped on a night out. It was a nightmare for us through dealing with the police and the hospital and she was really affected by it. We’ve worked hard last year and over the last few months things have essentially been back to normal in terms of her personality, our intimacy and her confidence. I actually posted here about it and received some really helpful advice.

Last weekend she had some girlfriends over for a night in. She was still at the shops when they started arriving and I was heading out to my friends. Most of these girls we have known for 5-10+ years, so I let them in and headed out when the ones I was comfortable leaving in my house were here. Some of them had clearly already started on the wines.

I got 5 mins away before realising I forgot my poker set so turned around to grab it, Abbie’s car wasn’t in the driveway and I didn’t want to get stuck talking to the girls so I snuck in the back and went upstairs to grab my chip case. On my way down I heard the single ones talking about guys they’d slept with recently. I had a little chuckle at the poor nameless blokes as...well women can be harsh but then I heard ‘Brandon has such a small dick, sometimes I wish the guy that raped Abbie would do me next. She said his dick was massive’. There was some laughter and a couple of ‘don’t even joke about thats’. I didn’t know how to process it and just left.

I don’t even know what I’m upset about he’s a fucking rapist and I’ve never been insecure before but why do they know that info wtf. It’s been a week and she knows something is wrong but I don’t know what to do. Like I said I feel like it’s so dumb but it’s in my brain now.
 
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its just posts I find on reddit

Overheard fiancées friends talking about her rapist having a ‘massive’ dick

little over a year ago my fiancée Abbie was raped on a night out. It was a nightmare for us through dealing with the police and the hospital and she was really affected by it. We’ve worked hard last year and over the last few months things have essentially been back to normal in terms of her personality, our intimacy and her confidence. I actually posted here about it and received some really helpful advice.

Last weekend she had some girlfriends over for a night in. She was still at the shops when they started arriving and I was heading out to my friends. Most of these girls we have known for 5-10+ years, so I let them in and headed out when the ones I was comfortable leaving in my house were here. Some of them had clearly already started on the wines.

I got 5 mins away before realising I forgot my poker set so turned around to grab it, Abbie’s car wasn’t in the driveway and I didn’t want to get stuck talking to the girls so I snuck in the back and went upstairs to grab my chip case. On my way down I heard the single ones talking about guys they’d slept with recently. I had a little chuckle at the poor nameless blokes as...well women can be harsh but then I heard ‘Brandon has such a small dick, sometimes I wish the guy that raped Abbie would do me next. She said his dick was massive’. There was some laughter and a couple of ‘don’t even joke about thats’. I didn’t know how to process it and just left.

I don’t even know what I’m upset about he’s a fucking rapist and I’ve never been insecure before but why do they know that info wtf. It’s been a week and she knows something is wrong but I don’t know what to do. Like I said I feel like it’s so dumb but it’s in my brain now.
This is sick can u share original links i wanna read comments.
 
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I (23F) cheated my boyfriend (25M) with my ex (28M), who abused me in the past

First of all, yes, I know. I'm a worthless piece of shit and I deserve a painful death. This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons. I don't know if I should tell this to my boyfriend. I feel like I should at some point. But I don't even know how this happened.

I was on my way back home after work, at around 5:30 PM. Then I ran into my ex, after not seeing him in years. Even though he abused me, both psychologically and physically, I thought that was just something of the past, and that I already moved on, so we just started talking again. We were talking about what we are doing with our life, and he told me he moved to my city for laboral reasons.

Then he invited me to his apartment, and here is when I make the mistake. I know I have a boyfriend, and he's the sweetest man I have ever met, but I missed the rough sex with my ex, so I just said yes straight up when he invited me. I accepted, and, as you expected, we ended up having sex. I'm not gonna lie, I enjoyed it a lot, but of course I felt terrible after that.

What should I do? Should I tell this to my boyfriend? I'm feeling really bad right now.
 

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