I like being alone but not lonely

[Paul.jnxy]

I’m so fucking tired bro.


It’s not even about how I look atp. It’s knowing that no matter what I do, I will probably never have a single person who actually gives a fuck about me.


I have no real friends. Not a single one brah.


And the shitiest thing being Knowing I will most likely never be held by a foid ever. All becouse of my fucking genetics man. Why tf did my parents even breed me. They both passed away. I was raised by my grandma alone. I love her so much but she is getting old. I have nobody to go to when she passes away even though im 14. I will be on my own soon.

I fucking hate seing couples ed outside. Like tf you mean I need to take dwarfism drugs from india just to fit in, be seen as a human and perhaps have the chance of being loved by the opposite gender.

Most of you Nighas know exactly what Im talking about and its not always this bad yk. Its like muh idc until its fucking 1 am and your up laying on the cold bathroom floor debating if its even worth living.

It hurts man. It really fucking hurts. Kids my age being outside rn partying while im too embaressed to go out bcs Im so fucking short and fugly.

I’m not even that suicidal or anything, I’m just tired.

Fuck man I can't really express myself that well. Why am I even writing this post man. I geniuenly should KMS soon.

Once my grandma passes il be free to end it all.

I will be free.

Even while writing this one sentence thinking of the end of my short miserable life brings me a sence of peace to my heart idk how to explain.

Anyways nobody will read this which is fine and im not intending on anybody finding this anyway.

 

[Paul.jnxy]

I really need some foid to hold me man.

 

[Andremln]

How old are you?

It gets worse as you age, i just wrote my suicide letter for my parents a couple of hours ago, if shit don't get better in the next 24 months i will do it, here i am, waiting for a deus ex machina, probably because we all think of ourselves as special, thinking that some mysterious reason, makes us different, better, deserving, like some magical thunder will strike us and everything will get better, sure for some it occurs, but for the vast majority, we are absolutely fucked and i am more tired than ever of having to carry this piece of shit body, corpse even, of mine, that can't get me to live a happy life, i've never been loved, never been desired, never had real friends, all my life alone, ill just wait those months because i feel like i owe myself a shot to feel what others feel, but i am a loser, ill probably end up on the ground before anything like that ever happens to me.

 

[Paul.jnxy]

How old are you?

It gets worse as you age, i just wrote my suicide letter for my parents a couple of hours ago, if shit don't get better in the next 24 months i will do it, here i am, waiting for a deus ex machina, probably because we all think of ourselves as special, thinking that some mysterious reason, makes us different, better, deserving, like some magical thunder will strike us and everything will get better, sure for some it occurs, but for the vast majority, we are absolutely fucked and i am more tired than ever of having to carry this piece of shit body, corpse even, of mine, that can't get me to live a happy life, i've never been loved, never been desired, never had real friends, all my life alone, ill just wait those months because i feel like i owe myself a shot to feel what others feel, but i am a loser, ill probably end up on the ground before anything like that ever happens to me.

I can gen relate. Im 14 soon to be 15. Yet a small part of me still believes that I am special and that magical thunder will happen. Its over but I still have a weired feeling that this will workout eventually. How old are you bro. The only thing we can do is ascend brah. Only up from the bottom btw.

 

[AryanSchizo]

I can gen relate. Im 14 soon to be 15. Yet a small part of me still believes that I am special and that magical thunder will happen. Its over but I still have a weired feeling that this will workout eventually. How old are you bro. The only thing we can do is ascend brah. Only up from the bottom btw.

You sound very intelligent for your age

 

[Paul.jnxy]

You sound very intelligent for your age

Idk man. What makes you say that my

 

[Andremln]

I can gen relate. Im 14 soon to be 15. Yet a small part of me still believes that I am special and that magical thunder will happen. Its over but I still have a weired feeling that this will workout eventually. How old are you bro. The only thing we can do is ascend brah. Only up from the bottom btw.

I know you feel it, everyone does, because your genes are configurated to believe that they're top notch, the best of the best, which is why subpar specimens will try to reproduce knowing the shit quality of life they will most likely leave to their offspring, this is subconscious of course.

That small part of us that believes shit will get better is our genetics detecting that we feel inferior, undeserving, like most social mammals that experienced social and sexual rejection, in wolves and lions for example, if you're inferior, the dominant males will exclude you from hunting and hanging by and will not let you eat, until you starve to death, in humans, you get either bullied or neglected by your peers until the pressure is enough so you commit suicide, this is a way to clean the genetic pool, but in both humans and other mammals the females will not only not like you, but genuinely feel the most strong feeling of disgust towards seeing you if you're ugly, they legit want to vomit at the sight of an unfit male.

I am 19, and like you, even as a kid, we know that we are inferior, unadapted, we may have not rationalized it into a strong framework like the blackpill, but eventually we do, or did, and here we are.

At your age i started truly feeling like shit, but i didn't want to kill myself yet, those feelings started relatively recently, failure after failure, it gets to this point, best recommendation i can give you is to do crime, steal, rob, scam, you need to get that fucking money before it is too late, and with it you get surgeries done, the world treats better beautiful criminals than good ugly men anyways, you have to do this before your 20s because after this it will only be betabuxxing, you probably don't want to be with a slut who would open her legs to a dude only cause he got luckier than you in life, right? that would be a humilliation ritual, or being dumb, after all you've suffered, you don't owe this fucking world nothing, i am crying right now man, because i know how you feel, i am legit tearing up right now, i may not be able to make it but please you have to do it, you owe yourself that fucking shot, of feeling what others do only because they were lucky on this fucking roulette of life

 

[Paul.jnxy]

I know you feel it, everyone does, because your genes are configurated to believe that they're top notch, the best of the best, which is why subpar specimens will try to reproduce knowing the shit quality of life they will most likely leave to their offspring, this is subconscious of course.

That small part of us that believes shit will get better is our genetics detecting that we feel inferior, undeserving, like most social mammals that experienced social and sexual rejection, in wolves and lions for example, if you're inferior, the dominant males will exclude you from hunting and hanging by and will not let you eat, until you starve to death, in humans, you get either bullied or neglected by your peers until the pressure is enough so you commit suicide, this is a way to clean the genetic pool, but in both humans and other mammals the females will not only not like you, but genuinely feel the most strong feeling of disgust towards seeing you if you're ugly, they legit want to vomit at the sight of an unfit male.

I am 19, and like you, even as a kid, we know that we are inferior, unadapted, we may have not rationalized it into a strong framework like the blackpill, but eventually we do, or did, and here we are.

At your age i started truly feeling like shit, but i didn't want to kill myself yet, those feelings started relatively recently, failure after failure, it gets to this point, best recommendation i can give you is to do crime, steal, rob, scam, you need to get that fucking money before it is too late, and with it you get surgeries done, the world treats better beautiful criminals than good ugly men anyways, you have to do this before your 20s because after this it will only be betabuxxing, you probably don't want to be with a slut who would open her legs to a dude only cause he got luckier than you in life, right? that would be a humilliation ritual, or being dumb, after all you've suffered, you don't owe this fucking world nothing, i am crying right now man, because i know how you feel, i am legit tearing up right now, i may not be able to make it but please you have to do it, you owe yourself that fucking shot, of feeling what others do only because they were lucky on this fucking roulette of life

Mirin effort brah. I’m not even that ugly. I got rated a hmtn recently to lhtn. Just short. I’m doing everything I can literally so I can get to 6 foot 2. you are right with a lot of aspects especially the last one (cuckery) but I will still win eventually . If others such as Hateeq Arvid ehren and heck even looxmakser49 or @androgenic could do it. Why tf can’t I. I was blessed with a decent face. I should be able to eventually do it.

 

[Andremln]

Mirin effort brah. I’m not even that ugly. I got rated a hmtn recently to lhtn. Just short. I’m doing everything I can literally so I can get to 6 foot 2. you are right with a lot of aspects especially the last one (cuckery) but I will still win eventually . If others such as Hateeq Arvid ehren and heck even looxmakser49 or @androgenic could do it. Why tf can’t I. I was blessed with a decent face. I should be able to eventually do it.

You have to take everything. its only one fucking shot we have, i wish i understood this and acted upong it earlier, i am still "young", but my process will finish once i am 23 - 24 probably, i am currently ltn but my failos make me a perfect candidate for DJS so i will probably ascend a decent amount from Bimax, which i am getting next year, and i hope to get Infraorbital Malar and Jaw angle implants before i am 25.

I feel decent about my height and especially good about my frame but LL is always an option since it is the surgery with the highest ROI there is, look into PRECICE limb lengthening if height is a concern you have.

I put a bit too much emotion before because i had a bad argument with my mother a couple of days ago because every day i get mentally worse, i know she wants to see me better, but she doesn't understand the degree of importance of my looks, and thinks i am exaggerating, when all she does is encouraging my sister to find a really tall, attractive white man, and tells her to ditch dudes who don't even look remotely bad and are literally looksmatched to her, so fuck her, she doesn't get it, women have such low empathy, its insane.

 

[Paul.jnxy]

You have to take everything. its only one fucking shot we have, i wish i understood this and acted upong it earlier, i am still "young", but my process will finish once i am 23 - 24 probably, i am currently ltn but my failos make me a perfect candidate for DJS so i will probably ascend a decent amount from Bimax, which i am getting next year, and i hope to get Infraorbital Malar and Jaw angle implants before i am 25.

I feel decent about my height and especially good about my frame but LL is always an option since it is the surgery with the highest ROI there is, look into PRECICE limb lengthening if height is a concern you have.

I put a bit too much emotion before because i had a bad argument with my mother a couple of days ago because every day i get mentally worse, i know she wants to see me better, but she doesn't understand the degree of importance of my looks, and thinks i am exaggerating, when all she does is encouraging my sister to find a really tall, attractive white man, and tells her to ditch dudes who don't even look remotely bad and are literally looksmatched to her, so fuck her, she doesn't get it, women have such low empathy, its insane.

Im gen so sorry brah. Foids are very evil yes. I hope you ascend and I know you will. I am still 15 with 14 ba on a height MAXXING stack. I will grow enough fs. Also il probably start looking into androgens on top for Dimo and frame and perhaps even height.I hope it gets better btw you and your mom.

 

[Andremln]

Im gen so sorry brah. Foids are very evil yes. I hope you ascend and I know you will. I am still 15 with 14 ba on a height MAXXING stack. I will grow enough fs. Also il probably start looking into androgens on top for Dimo and frame and perhaps even height.I hope it gets better btw you and your mom.

Yeah even tho i hate her i also love her, she's just too dumb to realize how here arguments fails, but she genuinely wants me to get better, i mean, what kind of parent wouldnt.

Regarding your stack, keep it only as a heightmaxxing one to avoid fusing your bone plates, and once you notice that you're near tanner 5 go for testosterone, and for diet you need something high in animal fats, raw primal or keto is good, my testosterone levels get much better when i enter ketosis, seafood is great as well, please avoid soy and plants because they will disrupt your hormonal levels and if you want to maximize the dimorphic outcome of your puberty this is essential, though you should know, a very big part of dimo is determined before you're even born (as an embryo while you're receiving prenatal testosterone)

 

[NudeSelfiesTilliDie]

Read every single word

 

[Paul.jnxy]

Yeah even tho i hate her i also love her, she's just too dumb to realize how here arguments fails, but she genuinely wants me to get better, i mean, what kind of parent wouldnt.

Regarding your stack, keep it only as a heightmaxxing one to avoid fusing your bone plates, and once you notice that you're near tanner 5 go for testosterone, and for diet you need something high in animal fats, raw primal or keto is good, my testosterone levels get much better when i enter ketosis, seafood is great as well, please avoid soy and plants because they will disrupt your hormonal levels and if you want to maximize the dimorphic outcome of your puberty this is essential, though you should know, a very big part of dimo is determined before you're even born (as an embryo while you're receiving prenatal testosterone)

100%. Im eating a mainly 70% animal based diet and foods in low glycemic index. Carbs pw tho.

 

[Paul.jnxy]

Read every single word

Appreciate it

 

[NudeSelfiesTilliDie]

Appreciate it

This sadness is temporary. U just gotta sit through it, but know that better shit is ahead.

 

[Paul.jnxy]

This sadness is temporary. U just gotta sit through it, but know that better shit is ahead.

. We will se fs brah

 

[NudeSelfiesTilliDie]

. We will se fs brah

Is what it is bro. Choose something more in your control and start working towards it. Career wise or smth else