I miss being left alone

[Lonenely sigma]

This was one great summer.


The best part by far was when I went to one big village. It used to be a German village before they "left" after ww2 so as you can imagine it looks great.


I would ride my bike, listen to the music, explore and most importantly - be left completely alone.


I miss those long and empty, clean village streets that have no ending in sight. I miss enjoying in the fields and being left completely, utterly and fully - alone.



Don't get me wrong - my mind was still thinking about the distant future where I surgerymaxx and am able to live my life well - yet, for at least 10 days, I had time to actually think about the future instead of it just being a burden, a pressure that gives me as much fear as hope.

 

[Martyros]

 

[ropemax]

the distant future where I surgerymaxx and am able to live my life well

be realistic homie

 

[Lonenely sigma]

be realistic homie

If I fail to afford paying someone to cut my skull I will just rope


What a full life heh?

 

[ropemax]

If I fail to afford paying someone to cut my skull I will just rope


What a full life heh?

surgery won't make you gl

 

[Harakiri Fellatio]

Brutal.

 

[Lonenely sigma]

surgery won't make you gl

I have 1 or 2 subhuman characteristics, if I fixed them I could be at least average, but I think there's a chance of reaching a high-MTN or HTN level if I am invasive enough.


Worth trying anyway, I certainly won't have a family nor any other normal thing that keeps a man somewhat sane. Without it I have no purpose to wake up tomorrow. Sad, but its as happy as this story could be

 

[Lonenely sigma]

Brutal.

Yo you said you posted my face on a discord server and foids called me ugly, can you send it to pm I am interested

 

[ropemax]

I have 1 or 2 subhuman characteristics, if I fixed them I could be at least average, but I think there's a chance of reaching a high-MTN or HTN level if I am invasive enough.

that's everyone's cope. Everyone always has 1 or 2 subhuman traits that they are fixated on and think that they would ascend If they fixed them. Truth is your whole cranium is probably subpar

 

[Harakiri Fellatio]

Yo you said you posted my face on a discord server and foids called me ugly, can you send it to pm I am interested

No I was banned from the server.

 

[Lonenely sigma]

that's everyone's cope. Everyone always has 1 or 2 subhuman traits that they are fixated on and think that they would ascend If they fixed them. Truth is your whole cranium is probably subpar

I was gl as a kid but ruined by mouthbreathing.

It certainly won't make me a chad, but yet again, there isn't much I can devote my life to otherwise.

Whats your point? That I should rope without even trying?

 

[ropemax]

Whats your point? That I should rope without even trying?

find meaning in life beyond looks

 

[Lonenely sigma]

find meaning in life beyond looks

That won't work. I have no value other than what others give to me, nor does anyone else.


Under certain lightings, when stars align well, I look decent, and the validation I get in days like those makes me the happiest person in the room for the entire day.


Likewise, whenever anyone treats me badly, it ruins my day completely.


The thought of increasing the number of those first days and reducing the number of the latter ones is enough to motivate me to do whatever. Whatever, just to get a chance to spin the surgery wheel, which in itself has a very low chance of giving me something well, but is the only hope I really have