browridge
benson & hedgescel
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2025
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my dog died late last november, idk what it was but i wasnt majorly affected by it, obviously very upset cos id had him from the age of 4 but being upset didn't last too long. maybe like a week.
idk why it was that way and it made me feel extremely guilty because i could tell like my dad was very hurt by losing him.
anyway idk what it is but recently it's started hitting me in waves just randomly. i hate it cos i loved my dog more than most people in my life. ive been autistic since being a baby so im not really good at all with explaining how i feel or my thoughts/issues but my dog helped me just forget all of it and how different i was to everyone else. everywhere i go i just have this subconscious thought of wondering if im looking normal doing everyday tasks or if im acting in a certain way that'd make me stand out as some autist.
i just feel almost like an outsider even with friends or family. no matter what. but with my dog i never had any of these thoughts i never had to worry about anything or how i was acting (this sounds so gay in my head sorry if this is cringe)
idk i havent really cried since the week i lost him but im just crying over my keyboard typing this
i miss having him and having some sort of escape from my differences and being able to be with someone who never made me feel like some outcast.
hella gay thread ik just wanted to get this off my mind
idk why it was that way and it made me feel extremely guilty because i could tell like my dad was very hurt by losing him.
anyway idk what it is but recently it's started hitting me in waves just randomly. i hate it cos i loved my dog more than most people in my life. ive been autistic since being a baby so im not really good at all with explaining how i feel or my thoughts/issues but my dog helped me just forget all of it and how different i was to everyone else. everywhere i go i just have this subconscious thought of wondering if im looking normal doing everyday tasks or if im acting in a certain way that'd make me stand out as some autist.
i just feel almost like an outsider even with friends or family. no matter what. but with my dog i never had any of these thoughts i never had to worry about anything or how i was acting (this sounds so gay in my head sorry if this is cringe)
idk i havent really cried since the week i lost him but im just crying over my keyboard typing this
i miss having him and having some sort of escape from my differences and being able to be with someone who never made me feel like some outcast.
hella gay thread ik just wanted to get this off my mind
