I need to start taking my mental-health more seriously.

[MoggerGaston]

I don't even know if it's actually realistic to cure PTSD(Post traumatic stress disorder), AVPD(avoidant personality disorder), change your entire personality, every single thing about you.

but on the other hand, whatever i have been doing so far has been ineffective at making me obtain an enjoyable and fullfilling life.

Even at the top of my game, when I was dating the stacylite, part of a rowing frat, popular, academically/career achieved for my age at the time, rich for my age at the time, and many more things, I didn't enjoy my life at all.

I would often disassociate, feel bad, drained, I was completely not enjoying my life even in it's objective 'peak'.

Being abused by your own parents and being a bullied obese truecel subhuman for the first ~16 years of your life has given me emotional patterns and thought patterns which severely reduce life quality.
No looksmaxxing, moneymaxxing, statusmaxxing, will ever fix these things.

I don't even really know how to change my mental-state either. I know I can't change my past, so how do I change my entire personality which formed out of a subhuman past?

it's all too brutal tbh, makes me sad, makes me feel hopeless like nothing I do matters since I am mentally destroyed by my past and will never enjoy life.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Only on heavy amounts of alcohol/drugs can I SOMETIMES find a way out of my mental illnesses.

Where for small moments in time, I actually feel like I am no longer the worthless subhuman I normally feel like. I no longer have to pretend to be someone I am not. I no longer feel like I need to grind and work towards a better life just to feel good.

Even dating/fucking a stacylite girl doesn't make me feel good because my problems are all in my head at this point.
Only drugs get in my head and have an effect on my emotional state and thought patterns.

 

[MoggerGaston]

It's not like I could date a stacylite anymore in my current mental/physical/financial/life state, but it's irrelevant to seek it out as a 'cure' or 'ascension' so to speak. As I already know it won't cure me.

 

[Always Stay You]

I'm in the same situation and I have experimented with some things and trying new stuff. Some of it sort of works. If you're friendless, unloved, average-looks (ugly), no social life no-name, you have absolutely nothing to lose. You're basically already dead. I have plans to try extreme shit

 

[Bug]

Keep bumping this thread until someone gives an answer. I cant find a way to be NT either

 

[MoggerGaston]

I'm in the same situation and I have experimented with some things and trying new stuff. Some of it sort of works. If you're friendless, unloved, average-looks (ugly), no social life no-name, you have absolutely nothing to lose. You're basically already dead. I have plans to try extreme shit

But how would doing extreme things, succeeding, actually fix your distorted mental-state?

I feel like it's just a cope honestly. Whatever you do has to be truly based on tackling your mental issues, with a constant and massive effort in tackling your emotional state and negative thoughts you may have.

If you don't do that, all you do is falling back into copes. Like how feeling worthless endlessly makes you chase looks, money, status, popularity.

You chase all those things, but even if you succeed, will those feelings of not being good enough, actually subside? I don't think so.

 

[Clown Show]

To this day, all my efforts to cure my PTSD have failed so far.

 

[Always Stay You]

I feel like it's just a cope honestly. Whatever you do has to be truly based on tackling your mental issues, with a constant and massive effort in tackling your emotional state and negative thoughts you may have.

You have to figure out what you can control at the most basic level and work your way up. Confront every action you take every single day, alongside other thought exercises and even compounds. Putting your incel body in places it doesn't want to be and dominating that medium. It's a complex process that feels unnatural, but there's no other choice. Like I said I'm a friendless incel no-name. If my dead body was dumped in the middle of my city, no one could identify it, no one would know my name. No one cares for me or you. You have nothing to lose and have to do extreme shit if you want any hope of changing the situation you're in. Abandon all copes, reinvent yourself. It probably won't work, but it might and it could. I personally have no choice, I am at the end of my tether

 

[MoggerGaston]

You have to figure out what you can control at the most basic level and work your way up. Confront every action you take every single day, alongside other thought exercises and even compounds. Putting your incel body in places it doesn't want to be and dominating that medium. It's a complex process that feels unnatural, but there's no other choice. Like I said I'm a friendless incel no-name. If my dead body was dumped in the middle of my city, no one could identify it, no one would know my name. No one cares for me or you. You have nothing to lose and have to do extreme shit if you want any hope of changing the situation you're in. Abandon all copes, reinvent yourself. It probably won't work, but it might and it could. I personally have no choice, I am at the end of my tether

I get that, but for example, my way to socialize is to disassociate from who I am and become an actor. Acting like I believe people would like and what would get me social succes.
But in the end this is very unfullfilling on a personal level.

But I don't even know if socializing any other way, with less succes, is even better honestly.

Like say I start dating some girl with a whiny incel personality. First of all, 99% of girls would reject me. Like what is even the point lol.
I guess I could try to strike a better balance but idk honestly.

I often fall back into hopeless/suicidal tendencies where I realize ~90% of the population has never had to deal with immense struggles like I have, so early on in life. I don't know how to get out of this.

Same as you I have no family, no friends, no girlfriend, nothing. Only thing I am good in is acting like this aloof extroverted guy IRL where i get positive surface-level interactions with colleagues or people I meet when I go raving on my own, etc.

 

[kebinGarnett]

Mostly cope, but this mindset helps me out sometimes. Trying to let go of past things that shape you, and can start everday as new.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Mostly cope, but this mindset helps me out sometimes. Video. Trying to let go of past things that shape you, and can start everday as new.

'just let go of your past bro'
16+ years of traumatic childhood experiences aren't cured by 2 sentences and an instagram vid.

I don't think you realize at all what I am talking about.

 

[Always Stay You]

I get that, but for example, my way to socialize is to disassociate from who I am and become an actor. Acting like I believe people would like and what would get me social succes.
But in the end this is very unfullfilling on a personal level.

But I don't even know if socializing any other way, with less succes, is even better honestly.

Like say I start dating some girl with a whiny incel personality. First of all, 99% of girls would reject me. Like what is even the point lol.
I guess I could try to strike a better balance but idk honestly.

I often fall back into hopeless/suicidal tendencies where I realize ~90% of the population has never had to deal with immense struggles like I have, so early on in life. I don't know how to get out of this.

Same as you I have no family, no friends, no girlfriend, nothing. Only thing I am good in is acting like this aloof extroverted guy IRL where i get positive surface-level interactions with colleagues or people I meet when I go raving on my own, etc.

I'm not sure because you said:

when I was dating the stacylite, part of a rowing frat, popular, academically/career achieved for my age at the time

But you still weren't feeling satisfied. I've never lead a life anywhere near that, so I want to improve myself to get there, and then see how fulfilling it is. It has to be a lot better than this right? At the very least I can be putting my dick into something thick and good-looking?

And like I said, all you can do is change your habits. You probably haven't tried to drastically alter your behaviours for a good period of time before (many months). I think this has to be the key to "self-improvement" and changing your reality. At the very least, it's the only option you have that might work. Seems like you're in some kind of cycle of being down all week, frying brain and ODing on dopamine on the weekends, then coming down the next week and repeating the cycle.

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

Ptsd from what

 

[Pikabro]

At least you had a peak

 

[MoggerGaston]

I'm not sure because you said:



But you still weren't feeling satisfied. I've never lead a life anywhere near that, so I want to improve myself to get there, and then see how fulfilling it is. It has to be a lot better than this right? At the very least I can be putting my dick into something thick and good-looking?

My life was definitely better back then than it is now, yet in the end I realize now, it was all on a timer.

The stacylite had serious arguments with me at some point, which triggered all of my insecurities and crashed the relationship.
Covid Lockdowns destroyed my social-life and popularity.
And those things together made me end up in despair again. Despite doing a lot of new things too to counter this.

It always felt like since everything I did felt so unnatural, took so much effort, at the slightest struggle it would all come crashing down.

And like I said, all you can do is change your habits. You probably haven't tried to drastically alter your behaviours for a good period of time before (many months). I think this has to be the key to "self-improvement" and changing your reality. At the very least, it's the only option you have that might work. Seems like you're in some kind of cycle of being down all week, frying brain and ODing on dopamine on the weekends, then coming down the next week and repeating the cycle.

I have, for many months. So I already know this is not the way out.

But either way I suggest you try these things out for yourself. Achieve these things.

I know they won't work for me, but maybe they will for you.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Ptsd from what

For the first 23 years of my life I was living with my parents who were fighting and screaming at eachother for ~5 days per week. Also trauma-dumping on me as their child, blaming me for their struggles and pains.

The things that does to a kid that ends up feeling unloved and unworthy, is absolute mental destruction.

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

For the first 23 years of my life I was living with my parents who were fighting and screaming at eachother for ~5 days per week. Also trauma-dumping on me as their child, blaming me for their struggles and pains.

The things that does to a kid that ends up feeling unloved and unworthy, is absolute mental destruction.

Were they right gaston?

 

[MoggerGaston]

At least you had a peak

if only I peaked in high-school

I was too mentally traumatized to enjoy my 'peak' 23-24yo. I never had a peak.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Were they right gaston?

i am literally a prodigy, gifted child.

130IQ, top 1% results in the entire country, teachers and mentors telling my parents that I have insane potential.

Yet still they would end up telling me that "I ruined their life by being born"

 

[Pikabro]

if only I peaked in high-school

I was too mentally traumatized to enjoy my 'peak' 23-24yo. I never had a peak.

Best time to peak is 18-21 prob

 

[kebinGarnett]

'just let go of your past bro'
16+ years of traumatic childhood experiences aren't cured by 2 sentences and an instagram vid.

I don't think you realize at all what I am talking about.

Ok. I hope you can eventually find peace. Did I dox myself with the link?

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

i am literally a prodigy, gifted child.

130IQ, top 1% results in the entire country, teachers and mentors telling my parents that I have insane potential.

Yet still they would end up telling me that "I ruined their life by being born"

Ok bhai sorry

You just have mvp tier post style I thought you were fake intellectual pessimistic retard

Send bday tho let me confirm this and use for data (iq)

 

[MoggerGaston]

Best time to peak is 18-21 prob

no way. You get ultimately formed in your teenage years, 13-17yo. If you are an incel then, it's over.

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

i am literally a prodigy, gifted child.

130IQ, top 1% results in the entire country, teachers and mentors telling my parents that I have insane potential.

Yet still they would end up telling me that "I ruined their life by being born"

Well nonetheless I'm curious

They didn't say it on its own. Why did they think you ruined their life

I'm sure there was something, what is it gaston?

 

[MoggerGaston]

Ok. I hope you can eventually find peace. Did I dox myself with the link?

dox? Never noticed anything

 

[Pikabro]

no way. You get ultimately formed in your teenage years, 13-17yo. If you are an incel then, it's over.

Yes those formative years are crucial for ensuring u peak at 18

 

[FascisstChad]

Keep bumping this thread until someone gives an answer. I cant find a way to be NT either

Copious amounts of alcohol

 

[Klasik616]

You're coping
Looks are everything

 

[MoggerGaston]

Ok bhai sorry

You just have mvp tier post style I thought you were fake intellectual pessimistic retard

Send bday tho let me confirm this and use for data (iq)

Well nonetheless I'm curious

They didn't say it on its own. Why did they think you ruined their life

I'm sure there was something, what is it gaston?

jfl man, I thought you were an OG. I have talked so many times about how I am doing a bachelors in theoretical physics, got 16th place in national physics olympiad in my country, had top 1% scores in national standardized testing for my entire childhood, etc.

Why my parents hated me? for no reason other than that they hated their own lives.

My parents are depressed subhumans stuck in a hateful failed relationship, having jobs they hate, having an obese body they hate, friendless, completely failed humans in every way, shape or form. No hobbies, no achievements whatsoever, nothing.

In the end, I as their kid, became target for their own depression and hated life. I was constantly pressured to basically 'make up for their failed lives' by living as this super-high achieving prodigy. My life-succes would be the only succes they would ever have.

They would have a succesful kid and as such, be able to redeem their lives. 'Hey my life was a subhuman failure, but I have this mega-succesfull kid, so in the end I didn't fail.'

that was their entire inner line of reasoning for their actions. They don't even know it because they are too stuck in this mental illness, they would never acknowledge it.

But I know, for 100% sure, this is the exact reason why my parents abused their fucking 8 year old kid. Motherfucking worthless subhumans who deserve nothing but death.

 

[MoggerGaston]

You're coping
Looks are everything

in your childhood they are very important.

If you were an ugly subhuman in your childhood, and only start peaking in your mid 20s, you will forever be traumatized and be insecure, feeling subhuman, even as a chad.

 

[Pikabro]

jfl man, I thought you were an OG. I have talked so many times about how I am doing a bachelors in theoretical physics, got 16th place in national physics olympiad in my country, had top 1% scores in national standardized testing for my entire childhood, etc.

Why my parents hated me? for no reason other than that they hated their own lives.

My parents are depressed subhumans stuck in a hateful failed relationship, having jobs they hate, having an obese body they hate, friendless, completely failed humans in every way, shape or form. No hobbies, no achievements whatsoever, nothing.

In the end, I as their kid, became target for their own depression and hated life. I was constantly pressured to basically 'make up for their failed lives' by living as this super-high achieving prodigy. My life-succes would be the only succes they would ever have.

They would have a succesful kid and as such, be able to redeem their lives. 'Hey my life was a subhuman failure, but I have this mega-succesfull kid, so in the end I didn't fail.'

that was their entire inner line of reasoning for their actions. They don't even know it because they are too stuck in this mental illness, they would never acknowledge it.

But I know, for 100% sure, this is the exact reason why my parents abused their fucking 8 year old kid. Motherfucking worthless subhumans who deserve nothing but death.

Why let that hold u back in your adulthood

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

jfl man, I thought you were an OG. I have talked so many times about how I am doing a bachelors in theoretical physics, got 16th place in national physics olympiad in my country, had top 1% scores in national standardized testing for my entire childhood, etc.

Why my parents hated me? for no reason other than that they hated their own lives.

My parents are depressed subhumans stuck in a hateful failed relationship, having jobs they hate, having an obese body they hate, friendless, completely failed humans in every way, shape or form. No hobbies, no achievements whatsoever, nothing.

In the end, I as their kid, became target for their own depression and hated life. I was constantly pressured to basically 'make up for their failed lives' by living as this super-high achieving prodigy. My life-succes would be the only succes they would ever have.

They would have a succesful kid and as such, be able to redeem their lives. 'Hey my life was a subhuman failure, but I have this mega-succesfull kid, so in the end I didn't fail.'

that was their entire inner line of reasoning for their actions. They don't even know it because they are too stuck in this mental illness, they would never acknowledge it.

But I know, for 100% sure, this is the exact reason why my parents abused their fucking 8 year old kid. Motherfucking worthless subhumans who deserve nothing but death.

They abused you at 8 years old even though you were their only hope of success?

Really? No reason at all? Well ok..

None of this is a reason to abuse your kid, its a reason to foster excessively and maybe baby them...

I'm asking why they hated you, I'm starting to think you'd rather not tell me why.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Why let that hold u back in your adulthood

Why are you blaming me? Like I am choosing to let this hold me back, consciously?! what the fuck man.

It has made me feel like i am a worthless subhuman. I never feel good enough, worthy of a good life. Because of the way my parents have treated me my entire childhood on top of being bullied by my peers.

 

[MoggerGaston]

They abused you at 8 years old even though you were their only hope of success?

Really? No reason at all? Well ok..

wow you just fucking wow.

You refuse to accept that abusive parents exist? Instead you are trying to blame an 8 year old kid for the way their parents treated them, screamed at them, threatening to abandon them, abused them.


AN 8 YEAR OLD FUCKING KID, YOU ARE BLAMING NOW, FOR PARENTS TREATING THEM LIKE UTTER SHIT.

i am putting you on ignore, you are a retarded ignorant faggot fool

kill yourself

 

[MoggerGaston]

None of this is a reason to abuse your kid, its a reason to foster excessively and maybe baby them...

I'm asking why they hated you, I'm starting to think you'd rather not tell me why.

you dumb retarded fucking faggot, dont you get it?

theres nothing rational about my subhuman parent's behavior.

its all emotional

how old are you? I hope below the age of 18. you come across as so fucking immature its insane.

why am I even on this forum.

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

wow you just fucking wow.

You refuse to accept that abusive parents exist? Instead you are trying to blame an 8 year old kid for the way their parents treated them, screamed at them, threatening to abandon them, abused them.


AN 8 YEAR OLD FUCKING KID, YOU ARE BLAMING NOW, FOR PARENTS TREATING THEM LIKE UTTER SHIT.

i am putting you on ignore, you are a retarded ignorant faggot fool

kill yourself

I asked you why they abused you,

you did not answer, you said they saw you as their shining light and the only saving grace of their lives and said they were unstable people

That went from love to hate at some point

You made it clear they valued you immensely

It just happened?

I'm asking why I never said it was your fault.

You never told me why your parents abused you

You told me reasons they shouldn't have like legit bruh why are you mad

 

[MoggerGaston]

I asked you why they abused you,

you did not answer, you said they saw you as their shining light and the only saving grace of their lives and said they were unstable people

That went from love to hate at some point

You made it clear they valued you immensely

You make it seem like my parents are happy people and were worshipping me for being their shining light.

I already told you that my parents HATED THEIR LIVES.

Every day my parents would get into screaming arguments, they would never sleep together (my dad slept alone in the basement), they were always angry, upset, sad, depressed. EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Every day my dad would come home, complaining about his subhuman job and subhuman life. Every day my mother would complain about her subhuman life.

They never worshipped me as their saving grace, they directed the hate they had towards their own lives, into frustration to their kids.

I was told that 'the only reason my parents are still together, is because of me, we have to stay together for the kids. You, (ME), is the reason for our suffering. If you were never born, we wouldn't have to stay together anymore.'

thats the type of shit, vibe, I was constantly getting. My parents blaming me, for their own subhuman lives. I had to redeem their lives to become a prodigy, a multi-millionaire. Yet never was I given any love, only when I excelled, only when I performed, did I get any love.

how the fuck can you not understand how that has me ever chasing achievements, never feeling good enough, because I HAD TO BECOME THIS MEGA-SUCCESS for my parents, seeking their love, seeking stability in my household.

its fucking over. you dont even know man, you dont even fucking know how bad it was.

I don't really thinK that people who were never brutally abused by their own parents, can understand, what it's like. You simply refuse to admit it exists. 'There has to be a reason.'

What are you even looking for? Me to admit to do what, as an 8 year old kid?

pee in my pants all the time despite kids my age not doing so?
me acting like an autistic retard?
me constantly getting into trouble?

what are you looking for boyo, what do you think is a reasonable reason for parents to HATE THEIR FUCKING 8 YEAR OLD KID?!?!?!??!

You dumb motherfucker. There is no viable reason for it, and there never was.

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

I was told that 'the only reason my parents are still together, is because of me, we have to stay together for the kids. You, (ME), is the reason for our suffering.

so that's the reason, not my fault this is the point in the which you present it to me

what are you looking for boyo,

The thing you finally just said ^^^

Jfl at making me an insensitive and retarded enemy of yours because you can't tell the story properly

 

[stripes]

I grew up in a bad way as too but my brain never developed in this way. I have had my own fair share of issues, but seeing threads like this makes me wonder if you would have been you regardless of what has happened to you. There's been people with far worse lives but they ended up being mentally much more robust so to speak.

 

[MoggerGaston]

so that's the reason, not my fault this is the point in the which you present it to me

The thing you finally just said ^^^

Jfl at making me an insensitive and retarded enemy of yours because you can't tell the story properly

Both my brother and I have left our parental house years ago and are in little-contact (brother) and me (no contact whatsoever).

Yet my parents are still together. So in the end it was all a lie. My parents werent together for the kids.
They were together because they are both mentally ill losers tied to one another.

if my parents were truly only together for the kids, they wouldve divorced the moment we left our parental house and went little/no contact.

 

[MoggerGaston]

I grew up in a bad way as too but my brain never developed in this way. I have had my own fair share of issues, but seeing threads like this makes me wonder if you would have been you regardless of what has happened to you. There's been people with far worse lives but they ended up being mentally much more robust so to speak.

I have never met a person who has had it as bad as me before in my life.

Psychiatrists have told me, that after hearing my story, they were surprised I wasn't doing much worse. I am still capable of working a job, staying out of trouble with the law, am not totally controlled by substance-abuse, and so on.

People with decades of experience with people like me, have told me that I am hanging on relatively well.

I can't take your personal opinion seriously. Just another personal attack blaming me for my issues.

 

[stripes]

I have never met a person who has had it as bad as me before in my life.

Psychiatrists have told me, that after hearing my story, they were surprised I wasn't doing much worse. I am still capable of working a job, staying out of trouble with the law, am not totally controlled by substance-abuse, and so on.

People with decades of experience with people like me, have told me that I am hanging on relatively well.

I can't take your personal opinion seriously. Just another personal attack blaming me for my issues.

I'm not sure what happened to you but I have known and heard about people who lived through very abysmal experiences like getting SA'd or finding their dad hanging in a closet, as an example, but they weren't as negative. If your frame and constitution are genetic why wouldn't the relative robustness of your mind not be? There's people born with horrible genetic diseases who are happy somehow, yet you have well off normal people here LDARing and crying suicide after some bitches they caught oneitis for didn't suck their dick.

 

[Gaygymmaxx]

I'm not sure what happened to you but I have known and heard about people who lived through very abysmal experiences like getting SA'd or finding their dad hanging in a closet, as an example, but they weren't as negative. If your frame and constitution are genetic why wouldn't the relative robustness of your mind not be? There's people born with horrible genetic diseases who are happy somehow, yet you have well off normal people here LDARing and crying suicide after some bitches they caught oneitis for didn't suck their dick.

Real I've never heard Gaston be ungrateful or resentful for anything besides being subhuman maybe

He handled it well and hardly brings it up if ever before

My sincerest apologies for being so rude @MoggerGaston it was insensitive to poke fun and what you had already told me was PTSD, in a rare moment of weakness and shown vulnerability, I do hope we can get along like old times

I hope I haven't hurt the lions pride

 

[MoggerGaston]

I'm not sure what happened to you but I have known and heard about people who lived through very abysmal experiences like getting SA'd or finding their dad hanging in a closet, as an example, but they weren't as negative. If your frame and constitution are genetic why wouldn't the relative robustness of your mind not be? There's people born with horrible genetic diseases who are happy somehow, yet you have well off normal people here LDARing and crying suicide after some bitches they caught oneitis for didn't suck their dick.

Ignore listed

 

[ivan.kuk]

DXM

 

[Ci-Sphere]

When you realise that your looks equal to your mental health, Sub 5 = "Body dysmorphia" and depression but a Good-looking Chad will always have great mental health because its a reflection how the world treats him.

Mental Health doesn't exist.

 

[stripes]

When you realise that your looks equal to your mental health, Sub 5 = "Body dysmorphia" and depression but a Good-looking Chad will always have great mental health because its a reflection how the world treats him.

Mental Health doesn't exist.

Vasiliy Stepanov looked like Apollo but he is severely mentally ill. Schizophrenia or something crazy like that.

 

[Ci-Sphere]

Vasiliy Stepanov looked like Apollo but he is severely mentally ill. Schizophrenia or something crazy like that.

There always going to be exceptions oh and he lived in some shithole eastern European country so who wouldn't be severely mentally ill from looking at grey buildings and skies.

 

[MoggerGaston]

When you realise that your looks equal to your mental health, Sub 5 = "Body dysmorphia" and depression but a Good-looking Chad will always have great mental health because its a reflection how the world treats him.

Mental Health doesn't exist.

It's not that simple because abusive parenting or extremely bad luck can fuck you up mentally no matter how good-looking you are as a kid.

But a good-looking person has more ways to find support and people accepting his mental illnesses so that he is more shielded from mental issues and better capable of tackling them at a later age.

Ugly deformed creatures like myself can't afford to be mentally ill, as it will cause more social rejection.
As long as I can't find social-acceptance for who I have become, it will be extremly hard for me to heal these scars.

 

[Ci-Sphere]

It's not that simple because abusive parenting or extremely bad luck can fuck you up mentally no matter how good-looking you are as a kid.

But a good-looking person has more ways to find support and people accepting his mental illnesses so that he is more shielded from mental issues and better capable of tackling them at a later age.

Ugly deformed creatures like myself can't afford to be mentally ill, as it will cause more social rejection.
As long as I can't find social-acceptance for who I have become, it will be extremly hard for me to heal these scars.

Yeah I relate to you by a lot, especially with the abusive pare tenting, the only time I was ever given a taste of what a caring family was, when I was taken away at age 11 where I put into foster care for almost about a year whilst my mum was dealing with a court case about handling custody of the kids and I honestly wish I was adopted by the foster care family because we went on so many trips and places that I couldn't have wished for back at home. My mum would drink alcohol, bully me for how I lacked intelligence in subjects at primary school and etc. Its too long but I went through a lot as a kid.

TLDR: Put in foster care because of my alcoholic mother that used to fight with random ass people

As you said, us sub 5's cannot afford to be in a pit of self-hatred and low self-esteem because the world will not kiss our asses and feel sorry for us, instead it will continue to harm us even maybe more so than before. We need to stay strong and keep our heads held up in this cruel world that pritozie looks that are controlled by our genetics that we simply cannot control.

Stay strong brother. Stay strong, do not let these normies kill you inside. You living is already enough proof to show me that you're strong and capable of continuing further. Do not fall down.