Fin_1337
Iron
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2026
- Posts
- 11
- Reputation
- 18
P.S. I am from Ukraine and this is translated from my original post on a Russian-speaking subforum with AI, so yeah, it might sound a little fucking clunky in places.
Hey everyone. I need your help.
I'm 15. I've been studying all this shit for almost half a year now. And I mean actually studying it. I've been experimenting on myself with all kinds of things. I've already used quite a few peptides at my age — yeah, fuck, I don't even know what I haven't done during this time. A lot of people would probably think I'm a fucking schizo if I told them everything. At some point, the whole Blackpill and “looksmaxxing” idea really resonated with me. So I started studying it. At first, I would literally sit all day watching different videos, reading articles and studies. I got so deep into it that, without even joking, I started dreaming about reading fucking studies. From time to time I'd come to the org just to read something, but I avoided registering and actually participating until now. I have absolutely no need for people. I don't need conversations, discussions, or debates. Honestly, the only things I need from people are information and entertainment. And the only reason I'm writing this is to get the information I need.
Anyway, getting to the point. About a year and a half ago, I barely managed to convince my parents to let me switch to individual schooling so that I could actually do and study the things I like and the things that will genuinely be useful to me. Other than my parents, I don't interact with anyone in real life.
Before I started studying the things I'm studying now, I basically never left the house. Literally. From the beginning of summer 2025 until December 2025, I went outside exactly once. No exaggeration. And THAT INCLUDES EVERY SINGLE TIME I WENT OUTSIDE. I didn't even go to the fucking store — my parents did that for me. Now I only go outside to do cardio. Either walking, or, if I need money for compounds/peptides and shit, I go out on my bike and work as a courier. For me, it's basically the perfect way to do cardio while getting paid for it.
Thankfully, I got lucky with my skull, and with my height too. I'm not ugly.
But I've started losing the point of all this.
I'm currently on a fucking insane cut. I'm running reta, and today I injected cagri for the first time. My goal is to get as lean as possible — to reach the absolute peak of what I can look like at this point in my life. And if this used to actually bring me enjoyment, now it's becoming fucking torture. Reta stopped suppressing my hunger properly. Increasing the dose is financially impossible for me at this point — I simply can't afford it. I've started constantly fucking up my diet. My mental state is going to shit. Right now, the only way out I see is cagri. If I don't see sufficient effectiveness tomorrow, that's it. I'll probably give up.
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY? Not because I've become too weak. Not because I've suddenly changed my beliefs about the Blackpill or lookism. It's because, in my situation, none of this makes any fucking sense.
The main question that made me finally decide to write this, hoping that maybe someone here can give me an answer that changes my understanding and makes me reconsider my beliefs, is - Why should I try this fucking hard to look as good as possible if I don't interact with other people — and don't even want to interact with them? What's the point? What's the benefit? Just why?
What am I going to do when I finish my cut and finish my Roaccutane course? Jack off to myself in the mirror?
Why the fuck am I doing all of this if, right now, I have no way of converting my appearance into any real-life benefit, while at the same time I'm suffering for it?
The only thing I see as a possible way out is the cagri I injected today. If I can properly suppress my hunger and stop all this suffering, I'll continue. But if I'm forced to keep suffering just to reach a finish line that doesn't even have a point, I'm going to quit this whole fucking thing. Not in the sense that I'm going to rope or anything, just in the sense that I'll give up on all this shit until the point when I'll actually have to start going out and interacting with people. And that probably won't be anytime soon. I'll just try to find other interests for myself and try not to think about my appearance.
Thanks to everyone who tries to give me a constructive answer.
Sorry for the shitty and somewhat dumb way I formulated all of this. I just don't have the energy right now to try to write some beautiful fucking essay for you, so I wrote exactly what I'm thinking at the moment, without overthinking or filtering it.
Deep down, I hope you guys can give me the motivation to keep going.
Hey everyone. I need your help.
I'm 15. I've been studying all this shit for almost half a year now. And I mean actually studying it. I've been experimenting on myself with all kinds of things. I've already used quite a few peptides at my age — yeah, fuck, I don't even know what I haven't done during this time. A lot of people would probably think I'm a fucking schizo if I told them everything. At some point, the whole Blackpill and “looksmaxxing” idea really resonated with me. So I started studying it. At first, I would literally sit all day watching different videos, reading articles and studies. I got so deep into it that, without even joking, I started dreaming about reading fucking studies. From time to time I'd come to the org just to read something, but I avoided registering and actually participating until now. I have absolutely no need for people. I don't need conversations, discussions, or debates. Honestly, the only things I need from people are information and entertainment. And the only reason I'm writing this is to get the information I need.
Anyway, getting to the point. About a year and a half ago, I barely managed to convince my parents to let me switch to individual schooling so that I could actually do and study the things I like and the things that will genuinely be useful to me. Other than my parents, I don't interact with anyone in real life.
Before I started studying the things I'm studying now, I basically never left the house. Literally. From the beginning of summer 2025 until December 2025, I went outside exactly once. No exaggeration. And THAT INCLUDES EVERY SINGLE TIME I WENT OUTSIDE. I didn't even go to the fucking store — my parents did that for me. Now I only go outside to do cardio. Either walking, or, if I need money for compounds/peptides and shit, I go out on my bike and work as a courier. For me, it's basically the perfect way to do cardio while getting paid for it.
Thankfully, I got lucky with my skull, and with my height too. I'm not ugly.
But I've started losing the point of all this.
I'm currently on a fucking insane cut. I'm running reta, and today I injected cagri for the first time. My goal is to get as lean as possible — to reach the absolute peak of what I can look like at this point in my life. And if this used to actually bring me enjoyment, now it's becoming fucking torture. Reta stopped suppressing my hunger properly. Increasing the dose is financially impossible for me at this point — I simply can't afford it. I've started constantly fucking up my diet. My mental state is going to shit. Right now, the only way out I see is cagri. If I don't see sufficient effectiveness tomorrow, that's it. I'll probably give up.
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY? Not because I've become too weak. Not because I've suddenly changed my beliefs about the Blackpill or lookism. It's because, in my situation, none of this makes any fucking sense.
The main question that made me finally decide to write this, hoping that maybe someone here can give me an answer that changes my understanding and makes me reconsider my beliefs, is - Why should I try this fucking hard to look as good as possible if I don't interact with other people — and don't even want to interact with them? What's the point? What's the benefit? Just why?
What am I going to do when I finish my cut and finish my Roaccutane course? Jack off to myself in the mirror?
Why the fuck am I doing all of this if, right now, I have no way of converting my appearance into any real-life benefit, while at the same time I'm suffering for it?
The only thing I see as a possible way out is the cagri I injected today. If I can properly suppress my hunger and stop all this suffering, I'll continue. But if I'm forced to keep suffering just to reach a finish line that doesn't even have a point, I'm going to quit this whole fucking thing. Not in the sense that I'm going to rope or anything, just in the sense that I'll give up on all this shit until the point when I'll actually have to start going out and interacting with people. And that probably won't be anytime soon. I'll just try to find other interests for myself and try not to think about my appearance.
Thanks to everyone who tries to give me a constructive answer.
Sorry for the shitty and somewhat dumb way I formulated all of this. I just don't have the energy right now to try to write some beautiful fucking essay for you, so I wrote exactly what I'm thinking at the moment, without overthinking or filtering it.
Deep down, I hope you guys can give me the motivation to keep going.
