middayshowers
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- Joined
- May 29, 2019
- Posts
- 1,862
- Reputation
- 2,482
Before I discovered it, my life was a cope. Always thought that if I just worked hard I could get a good job then find a good wife. Never really understood why I was always alone. Never understood why I spent all my free time playing vidya while everyone else socialised and had fun. Despite having pretty much no real friends I still lived a somewhat happy existence. Then I discovered lookism and felt that I’ve discovered the truth of the world - nothing was my fault, I was just unattractive so was just left out due to my ugliness. Then the illusion shattered when I was rated psl 5. I can’t blame lookism or the blackpill for my own failures. I see legitimately deformed people with happy social circles and fulfilling lives. The blackpill is alluring because it means it’s not your fault, it’s society’s, but it shouldn’t even fucking apply to me because I’m not objectively unattractive. I could go on, get good grades, make good money, hire prostitutes,... it would all just feel so fucking hollow. If a woman ever actually likes me it’d just be because of my looks and nothing else. I most likely won’t off myself as self preservation is too strong. My days are consumed by looksmax and the blackpill, I’m in the summer vacation before college and this is all I do. The blue pill is retarded but it’s happiness. If only a sliver, it’s happiness. Something I may never again attain
