I should have just died as a baby

[Skry]

My existence is an abberation. I was extremely asthmatic for 8-10 years of youth, on top of that i had severe allergies constant rhinitis, sniffling constantly. I was either in a constant state of having a cold, or getting it every 2 weeks. Going to the hospital and fed oxygen and drugs because I couldnt breathe and almost died countless times. I was fully unapologetically mouth breathing for about 12 years as a result.

modernity saved me. i was on inhalers every weird treatment even the asian traditional stuff. Eventually when I was like 10 I started to get a lot better and I became relatively strong and athletic. Somehow I even reached an above average height, but with a frail frame.

But none of it matters because my face became so recessed and deformed from mouthbreathing and allergies that I look like a freak. I look like a different species like something is wrong with me, like im retarded, like I have a syndrome, but I don't so I don't even have an excuse. My face is recessed and crushed inwards in the upper midface to the point that even Lefort 3 wouldn't truly save it, and a monobloc would MAYBE make me look passable.

I'm literally a "spiteful mutant" in an extreme sense of the phrase. Nature should have run it's course and killed me so I wouldn't be a stain on society. My life was saved but what is even the point. If I had a time machine I could maybe go back and force myself to close my mouth and tell my parents to put me on allergy medications, but it's too late.

I was looking at old videos of when I was like 8 and I could already see how fucked up my skull looked, its messed up, not like how other kids look, back then I didnt understand why people would look at me weird but it seems so obvious in hindsight

 

[kenibba]

i feel you man, i was born with a lesion on my brain that gave me epilepsy when i was 10. I feel the same.

 

[Skry]

i feel you man, i was born with a lesion on my brain that gave me epilepsy when i was 10. I feel the same.

Do you still suffer from these?
At the very least it likely isn't a condition that makes your face grow incorrectly, is it?

 

[kenibba]

Do you still suffer from these?
At the very least it likely isn't a condition that makes your face grow incorrectly, is it?

i do still suffer from it but it doesnt directly affect my facial growth yea

 

[Vermilioncore]

My cock is deformed…imagine my rage

 

[Rothschild]

dnr

 

[itsover.1]

same shi happend to me but after we moved to an allergic place for me when i was 6 and they let me gasp for air and brutally destory my face. sucks looking at the pics. I can litterly see where the maxilla shoudlve been growing but i was gasping for air. Brutal. Ima kms

 

[ranierean]

If there was little thought put into the choice of keeping you alive then it doesn’t make much sense to think of it as your debt, imagining the scenarios in which all the effort and the sciences are balanced out with a hypothetical life experience that would make it all “worth it.” You say that surgeries could make a difference, but in the same key they “wouldn’t truly save it” or bring all those lost years back. Maybe you just enjoy venting and feeling sorry for yourself in the background of the Mythical Other that has Proper Excuses.