i sometimes can’t

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breached account

first post made here lmao
 
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was pretty obvious
 
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though not like online ‘friends’ are friends to begin with
 
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Thought abt making a post like this
Atleast u got the courage
 
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never had any friends

the only friends i had were ‘online friends” (not even real friends)
 
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like it’s so fucking crazy how i just spent majority of my development years, childhood online because im deprived of such normalcy
 
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i guess i just broke down again
 
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i don’t have anywhere else to go to
 
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i just want someone to hug me, tell me that “you’re alright, you’re fine the way you are”
 
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i just don’t know why i’m deprived of such affectionate that so many people take granted for
 
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i always have to compensate for something

i can never just be myself
 
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i wish i had friends

i mean real friends
not online ‘friends’

people take that for granted too
 
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I hate wasting my life here
And yet i have nowhere to go
 
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don’t wanna give false hope or anything but literally

it doesn’t get any better as time goes on
 
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160cmcurry said:
i wish i had friends

people that actually care about me
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I'm sorry you feel that way the world is not a good place so good friends are really hard to come across anyways I know you said you don't fw online friends but I mean I personally would rather be coping and happy than not coping and self loathing so if you ever want anyone to vent to I can give my user if you want
 
the heartaches just gets worse knowing you’re ’not normal’
 
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sub5chichi said:
I'm sorry you feel that way the world is not a good place so good friends are really hard to come across anyways I know you said you don't fw online friends but I mean I personally would rather be coping and happy than not coping and self loathing so if you ever want anyone to vent to I can give my user if you want
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i thought i could just indulge in my copes and that im alright with having no friends but nooooo that shit just numbs you for a bit and then you’re right back where you started, just more aware of it. alone with these thoughts.

thank you though, don’t need anyone to vent to

i guess self loathing, crying here is just my way of coping
 
i kept telling myself i didn’t need people

that i was fine on my own

but i know it’s not true
 
THE ORG OGRE said:
DONT KNOW IF U R TALKING REAL SHIT OR JUST SHITPOSTIN BUT GET OFF THIS SITE FOR A WHILE IF YOU REALLY FEEL MENTALLY UNWELL:blackpill:
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this site is all i have unfortunately, i literally have nowhere else to go. i have no social media, no friends or mutuals like normal people do, im alone.
 
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160cmcurry said:
i thought i could just indulge in my copes and that im alright with having no friends but nooooo that shit just numbs you for a bit and then you’re right back where you started, just more aware of it. alone with these thoughts.

thank you though, don’t need anyone to vent to

i guess self loathing, crying here is just my way of coping
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Well if I can give one piece of advice it would be to get off incel forums if your mental health is bad because it will genuinely make you wanna rope
 
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160cmcurry said:
and i hate how i get clingy onto anyone that shows me the slightest affection
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I feel that so much dude, I'll be honest I dropped out of uni to fix everything so I'm prolly the worst person to listen to but I understand that despair that ur feeling so much. Its never over bro and u'll find the person that you're looking for for sure. Don't let that despair eat away at u cause it can bring u down to depths that will swallow u up whole.
 
i love you so much @NumbThePain for unbanning me, it really means a lot to me. i have nowhere else to go, i mean it, i just need somewhere where i can cry, release these thoughts i have.
 
sub5chichi said:
Well if I can give one piece of advice it would be to get off incel forums if your mental health is bad because it will genuinely make you wanna rope
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i tried that, doesn’t do shit. works if you have something actually going on, some people like me literally don’t. deprived of basic normalcy to begin with.
 
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yeah I honestly don't know I was blessed with being a normy if you have a little bit of social skills you can find a lot of events in your community it's good cope
 
You’ve probably heard this advice a million times already but do you think it’s possible for you to get an arranged marriage back home? Your brain would probably still be fried from years of negative reinforcement, but it’s better than rotting alone forever. Maybe something like psilocybin and propranolol (and yes I know your take on psychedelics but keep an open mind about their neuroplasticity effects) could help by creating new neural pathways and making the scars from your past bad experiences fade away

Wishing you the best brah :Sadeg:
 
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sub5chichi said:
yeah I honestly don't know I was blessed with being a normy if you have a little bit of social skills you can find a lot of events in your community it's good cope
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no point when they don’t give you a chance to begin with, already filtered through my looks to begin with
 
 
160cmcurry said:
no point when they don’t give you a chance to begin with, already filtered through my looks to begin with
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give yourself a chance even if you aren't attractive it's worth a shot it's better than what you're doing now
 
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TheGreatDetective said:
You’ve probably heard this advice a million times already but do you think it’s possible for you to get an arranged marriage back home?
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my old man wants me to marry my arab teacher’s daughter. i’m not getting married. i never will. don’t wanna pass on anymore suffering.
TheGreatDetective said:
Your brain would probably still be fried from years of negative reinforcement, but it’s better than rotting alone forever. Maybe something like psilocybin and propranolol (and yes I know your take on psychedelics but keep an open mind about their neuroplasticity effects) could help by creating new neural pathways and making the scars from your past bad experiences fade away
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i might consider it actually, i appreciate you digging through my older posts about it. i may have a negative perspective on it but my take on recreational drugs is that they’re good with friends but i can’t imagine doing it alone, it just seems depressing. getting stoned with friends would seem fun (but i have no friends) i was a frequent stoner but i quit when i realized how depressing it was. doing it alone just made me more aware of how empty things felt. it’s not even about the high, it’s about the environment and the people, and without that it just feels hollow.

same thing with psychedelics, every psychedelic user i’ve encountered, spoken to, does it with friends or people they enjoy being around, imagine doing it alone, you’re just sitting there with your own thoughts amplified with nothing grounding you, no one to bounce off, no shared moment, nothing

though i get why people say it can be “insightful” or whatever, but that usually comes from the setting and the people, not just the substance itself. when you’re around people you trust, it probably feels safe, even fun. alone though? it just seems like it would show whatever’s already in your head, no amount of neurological wiring will fix this ‘thing’ i have going on.
 
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sub5chichi said:
give yourself a chance even if you aren't attractive it's worth a shot it's better than what you're doing now
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no need to embarrass myself. don’t wanna give myself false hope.
 
160cmcurry said:
my old man wants me to marry my arab teacher’s daughter. i’m not getting married. i never will. don’t wanna pass on anymore suffering.

i might consider it actually, i appreciate you digging through my older posts about it. i may have a negative perspective on it but my take on recreational drugs is that they’re good with friends but i can’t imagine doing it alone, it just seems depressing. getting stoned with friends would seem fun (but i have no friends) i was a frequent stoner but i quit when i realized how depressing it was. doing it alone just made me more aware of how empty things felt. it’s not even about the high, it’s about the environment and the people, and without that it just feels hollow.

same thing with psychedelics, every psychedelic user i’ve encountered, spoken to, does it with friends or people they enjoy being around, imagine doing it alone, you’re just sitting there with your own thoughts amplified with nothing grounding you, no one to bounce off, no shared moment, nothing

though i get why people say it can be “insightful” or whatever, but that usually comes from the setting and the people, not just the substance itself. when you’re around people you trust, it probably feels safe, even fun. alone though? it just seems like it would show whatever’s already in your head, no amount of neurological wiring will fix this ‘thing’ i have going on.
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I see. What do you mean by passing on any more suffering? Do you mean passing it on to your kids? You don’t necessarily need to have kids just because you’re married, but i can also see why that could be a problem for the hypothetical wife in question, since I assume women from more conservative countries might expect to have kids, and not having them could be a dealbreaker.

Well, when it comes to recreational drugs, I’ve only done benzos, shrooms, and weed (although I’ve only smoked weed a handful of times and that was back in HS), and 99% of the time i do it alone.I actually prefer it that way :forcedsmile:. I mainly do them to relax and take things off my mind. I can only really recommend shrooms since they aren’t addictive and can actually improve your life. But i see your point about them not being fun when doing them alone even though that hasn’t been my experience.

I usually just take shrooms, go for a walk, and chill out in nature. I’m not saying to do them right now, especially if you’re in a bad headspace, because yeah not much would likely change. These types of drugs that affect neuroplasticity are better taken when you’re in a positive mood. The people I’ve seen turn their lives around with things like DMT and psilocybin (like actually turning their lives around, not just some hippie fake ego death bs) took them when their lives were already starting to get slightly better. The drugs simply gave them a new outlook on life and helped them not relapse into old habits and thought patterns when things got rough
 
TheGreatDetective said:
I see. What do you mean by passing on any more suffering? Do you mean passing it on to your kids? You don’t necessarily need to have kids just because you’re married, but i can also see why that could be a problem for the hypothetical wife in question, since I assume women from more conservative countries might expect to have kids, and not having them could be a dealbreaker.
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kashmir women in general want a lot of kids to begin with, just dont wanna pass my genes on. don’t wanna get married.
TheGreatDetective said:
Well, when it comes to recreational drugs, I’ve only done benzos, shrooms, and weed (although I’ve only smoked weed a handful of times and that was back in HS), and 99% of the time i do it alone.I actually prefer it that way :forcedsmile:. I mainly do them to relax and take things off my mind. I can only really recommend shrooms since they aren’t addictive and can actually improve your life. But i see your point about them not being fun when doing them alone even though that hasn’t been my experience.

I usually just take shrooms, go for a walk, and chill out in nature. I’m not saying to do them right now, especially if you’re in a bad headspace, because yeah not much would likely change. These types of drugs that affect neuroplasticity are better taken when you’re in a positive mood. The people I’ve seen turn their lives around with things like DMT and psilocybin (like actually turning their lives around, not just some hippie fake ego death bs) took them when their lives were already starting to get slightly better. The drugs simply gave them a new outlook on life and helped them not relapse into old habits and thought patterns when things got rough
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the reason why im so against psychedelics at least if you’re not in a stable or somewhat normal headspace is because it isn’t actually fixing anything, it just forces your brain into a different mode where a lot of the negative or critical thoughts just get muted. it gives the illusion of ‘growth’ i suppose because suddenly you’re less harsh on yourself, less “hateful” more accepting of everything that doesn’t mean the underlying reality changed. it just means your perception got softened.

i know someone here who was a frequent psychedelic user who was a major bitch when he got pressed by his family about something serious. didn’t even fight back or anything. people call it “ego death” or “spiritual awakening” but a lot of the time it just sounds like your brain getting rewired to stop resisting things. you become more okay with everything, more passive, more “it is what it is” that can look like healing on the surface, but it can also just make you easier to influence, easier to mold, less likely to question stuff.

i’m not saying it can’t make someone feel better or help them break out of a loop temporarily, but that’s different from actually solving anything. it’s more like it changes your lens so the problems don’t hit as hard, rather than actually dealing with them.

it seems more like a temporary mental shift rather than something that actually fixes your problems, goes for just about anyone that’s considering it. it gives the illusion that you “fixed” something mentally but never really the underlying issue itself
 
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160cmcurry said:
kashmir women in general want a lot of kids to begin with, just dont wanna pass my genes on. don’t wanna get married.

the reason why im so against psychedelics at least if you’re not in a stable or somewhat normal headspace is because it isn’t actually fixing anything, it just forces your brain into a different mode where a lot of the negative or critical thoughts just get muted. it gives the illusion of ‘growth’ i suppose because suddenly you’re less harsh on yourself, less “hateful” more accepting of everything that doesn’t mean the underlying reality changed. it just means your perception got softened.

i know someone here who was a frequent psychedelic user who was a major bitch when he got pressed by his family about something serious. didn’t even fight back or anything. people call it “ego death” or “spiritual awakening” but a lot of the time it just sounds like your brain getting rewired to stop resisting things. you become more okay with everything, more passive, more “it is what it is” that can look like healing on the surface, but it can also just make you easier to influence, easier to mold, less likely to question stuff.

i’m not saying it can’t make someone feel better or help them break out of a loop temporarily, but that’s different from actually solving anything. it’s more like it changes your lens so the problems don’t hit as hard, rather than actually dealing with them.

it seems more like a temporary mental shift rather than something that actually fixes your problems, goes for just about anyone that’s considering it. it gives the illusion that you “fixed” something mentally but never really the underlying issue itself
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I mean its good that you're aware of your problems cause thats the first step, what would the solution be theoretically to them?
 
Jgns said:
I mean it’s good that you're aware of your problems cause thats the first step, what would the solution be theoretically to them?
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there’s no ‘fixing’ for someone like me.
 
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