kisuke
Iron
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2025
- Posts
- 109
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i'm 19 and i just started being sexually active last summer , i've been pretty black pilled since i was 17 but still had a little bit of red pill beliefs and hopes that i would get past these constant black pill thoughts . i honestly thought losing my virginity would change that and that i would see life differently . i'm pretty average looking but i'm tall ( 6'4 ) with a lean physique so i have some appeal through my frame , i could've lost my virginity before but sadly i mostly attract mid chicks or black loving white girls ( yes , i'm black ) and the idea of losing my v card with a girl like that was something that i didn't like , but at this point i was 18 , all my friends were fucking girls , so i was like "fuck it" and made it my mission to have sex this summer .
so me and my friends were on vacation in the south of France at a resort filled with young people our age were most people just look for a summer love story type thing . i immediately kicked it off with this one girl since both our friend groups started hanging out and we got close to the point of kissing a lot . i was set on having sex with her and it happened after a few days of constant flirting and blue balls on my side . and this shit was so mid bro , i was super excited about it but it was so underwhelming i barely felt anything , and i didn't feel any feeling of joy after it was done . i fucked her 2 more times during my stay and went home feeling super empty and still had this depressed world view that nothing would never be enough
after this summer i started university , and i've been living like a degenerate , i started drinking and smoking a lot at parties , and i've been fucking mid and borderline ugly girls for months now . and its so bad because ever since puberty hit , me getting girls has been something that's on my mind and i thought if it would make my life more enjoyable/better in general , but thats BS . i haven't been more depressed since i started uni . interacting with girls feels like a constant loop and its so boring , sex is overated as hell , and the one time i was talking to a girl more seriously , i quickly got reminded of the female hypergamy ( not gon tell yall how i got cucked lol )
anyways i yapped a lot but in conclusion . i feel like since i got in the blackpill theres no hope for me to see women in a healthy way or having a relationship with a girl without constantly doubting everything . i thought sex would be the remedy but its not . so WTF is a solution , i can't seem to find a purpose in life or anything to fulfill me .
i feel like i talked way too much for a first thread and most of yall wont read it but if you did and you managed to get away from this mindset tell me how you did lol
so me and my friends were on vacation in the south of France at a resort filled with young people our age were most people just look for a summer love story type thing . i immediately kicked it off with this one girl since both our friend groups started hanging out and we got close to the point of kissing a lot . i was set on having sex with her and it happened after a few days of constant flirting and blue balls on my side . and this shit was so mid bro , i was super excited about it but it was so underwhelming i barely felt anything , and i didn't feel any feeling of joy after it was done . i fucked her 2 more times during my stay and went home feeling super empty and still had this depressed world view that nothing would never be enough
after this summer i started university , and i've been living like a degenerate , i started drinking and smoking a lot at parties , and i've been fucking mid and borderline ugly girls for months now . and its so bad because ever since puberty hit , me getting girls has been something that's on my mind and i thought if it would make my life more enjoyable/better in general , but thats BS . i haven't been more depressed since i started uni . interacting with girls feels like a constant loop and its so boring , sex is overated as hell , and the one time i was talking to a girl more seriously , i quickly got reminded of the female hypergamy ( not gon tell yall how i got cucked lol )
anyways i yapped a lot but in conclusion . i feel like since i got in the blackpill theres no hope for me to see women in a healthy way or having a relationship with a girl without constantly doubting everything . i thought sex would be the remedy but its not . so WTF is a solution , i can't seem to find a purpose in life or anything to fulfill me .
i feel like i talked way too much for a first thread and most of yall wont read it but if you did and you managed to get away from this mindset tell me how you did lol
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