I still go back to my rapist

ElySioNs

ElySioNs

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This is so fucked idk what's wrong with me. So I lost my virginity by this dude while passed out. He admitted it even. Well I keep going back to his place and having sex because I was always so self conscious which is why I waited so long to have sex tbh but with him he basically worships me and it makes me confident enough to do it. So I keep going back. I enjoy it but sometimes that first time creeps back into my mind how I tried to leave and was so uncomfortable and it disgusts me how I let him take advantage of me and keep seeing me. Now he says he loves me and shit and buys me all this stuff and I actually feel bad that I don't feel the same way back and plan on leaving forever at some point when I finally get some self agency (since i know this is bad and know i should stop but i can't bring myself to bc i'm weird). lmfao meanwhile Im just a fucked up individual wtf is wrong with me.
 
Bro….. it’s a new day
 

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