IHateMyslf
Iron
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2026
- Posts
- 56
- Reputation
- 23
Just throwing this out on a random forum hoping It gets to dudes with my type of mental illness and not the "it's not that deep" type of dudes, I already know it's not that deep, the problem is I don't want It to be like that. Basically I never was the type of guy girls gave attention or even thought of in a romantic or sexual way, at the time I hoped random girls I crushed on would randomly choose me out of all other better looking guys relying solely on my personality and always reaching only the friendzone. Last year in October tho I get in my first relationship, basically a girl I was friends with told me to hang out at a fair with her and her friend, and a week after that her friend took me out on what I didn't realise was a date till she started randomly holding my hand and she even gave me a kiss, atp I js went for It and kissed her and when I got back home It took me all night to realise what js fucking happened, It sounds corny but It felt almost magical, or maybe It was js my dick receiving the highest amount of oxytocin It ever got. After 2 weeks of "casual" dating she said she wanted to be in a relationship, nothing too serious but she wanted to make her intentions clear ig. What I didn't knew at the time was that she was in a difficult situation w her ex, we'll get to ts literally in a min. Not getting all deep into the story, we basically were together from early October to late november, I messed up cus apparently She didn't feel heard w me, but she didn't explain it was the reason till last month, still my fault, She broke up w me saying She didn't feel ready yet, I thought Little of It, She even accused me of stalking but that was js One of her other friends trying to make sure I didn't like investigate into It, She blocked me and we went no contact. So ffw to this May and I thought I moved on, suddendly She unblocks me and sends me a follow requsest on IG, I thought little of It and accepted and sent her too, literally next hour I get two calls (phone calls, he literally stole my number) and a follow request from her current bf (her ex) where he says to me don't get weird ideas and stay away. I said sure cus I thought she didn't want to do anything w me, She reached out through or common friend saying she was sorry for the way he acted, until another private number calls and It's her, my little girl saying she missed me and telling me what happened w her bf, he was her ex, while we were together he talked shit about him, now she was w him, he cheated on her and she didn't leave, he said if she got skinnier and lost her curves he would leave her, he treats her like shit, still she doesn't leave him cus she said she got attached go him, that he can change and other bs. She now blocked me again to make him happy (he didn't knew about out combo and wanted to beat me js cus she followed me and I was her ex) and now that I know she regrets leaving me but refusing to leave him is frustrating and It's so stupid I'm realizing I lwk can't even miss her cus I feel too dumb, I even had another relationship but that other foid didn't make me feel one bit like her, I'm becoming literally obsessed while making nothing about It cuz that's pathetic hoping she randomly decides to come back to me realizing I'm the better option, literally looks wise I'm the better looking guy too (according to her partly too) Last time I saw her was at our friend's birthday and I didn't want to talk to her too much because I thought It was disresoectful to pur friend and that small talk was good enough.
I don't even get why I'm still writing atp, nobody's gonna view this and js the fact I'm on a forum while she's probably getting touched and kissed by him tell's how much of a loser I am, spending my Summer rotting on forums and larping from my small italian city that hasn't even got Sea, having no true friends js people I hang out with to have fun that don't even remember about me if I don't make them, having no girls and not getting out of home apart to get my daily sun, playing Fallout all day is fun tho ig. Man, sometines I js would like to live the simple way, the intended way, the way people that don't care about any other bs than living live. I miss my wife and I miss my friends and I js hoped that someone noticed and tried to make a strong bond w me. I think I'm writing too much tbh so I think ts is end of the tread.
I don't even get why I'm still writing atp, nobody's gonna view this and js the fact I'm on a forum while she's probably getting touched and kissed by him tell's how much of a loser I am, spending my Summer rotting on forums and larping from my small italian city that hasn't even got Sea, having no true friends js people I hang out with to have fun that don't even remember about me if I don't make them, having no girls and not getting out of home apart to get my daily sun, playing Fallout all day is fun tho ig. Man, sometines I js would like to live the simple way, the intended way, the way people that don't care about any other bs than living live. I miss my wife and I miss my friends and I js hoped that someone noticed and tried to make a strong bond w me. I think I'm writing too much tbh so I think ts is end of the tread.
