I think I would’ve been an extrovert if I didn’t grow up so ugly

[Prøphet]

The #1 thing that makes me introverted is shame

Whenever I go outside or talk to a stranger I feel so much shame for who I am

Then I get so in my head I fuck up even more causing more shame

This all developed from 5 years old being fucking ugly and crosseyed getting utterly shat on by the other kids

If I didn’t carry this weight of so many years of being ugly I would love to interact with people

Deep down I am extremely bored keeping myself alone, it’s just that the boredom is outweighed by an even larger fear of people

Which would’ve never taken root and grown over the years into this abomination controlling me like a puppet if I wasn’t so god damn ugly

 

[Prøphet]

@soapbubble @miserycel @tansel

 

[Shrek2OnDvD]

same. it’s cripplingly lonely

were u ever voted the ugliest boy in class?

i know someone who was

 

[Thodian]

I was destined to be this way, my dad is ND in denial

 

[foreverstuckinLTN]

The #1 thing that makes me introverted is shame

Whenever I go outside or talk to a stranger I feel so much shame for who I am

Then I get so in my head I fuck up even more causing more shame

This all developed from 5 years old being fucking ugly and crosseyed getting utterly shat on by the other kids

If I didn’t carry this weight of so many years of being ugly I would love to interact with people

Deep down I am extremely bored keeping myself alone, it’s just that the boredom is outweighed by an even larger fear of people

Which would’ve never taken root and grown over the years into this abomination controlling me like a puppet if I wasn’t so god damn ugly

Yea it sucks

 

[Prøphet]

same. it’s cripplingly lonely

were u ever voted the ugliest boy in class?

i know someone who was

Well not explicitly but in a way I always sensed it

It started becoming very obvious to me in middle school and high school that I am socially undesirable and at the bottom of the social castes

I was even lower status than the kids who couldn’t speak english

Eventually it got to the point where people would come up to me and record me as a joke

I also would hear people talk about my looks behind my back in the cafeteria

Tbh I would’ve preferred if everyone was more direct so I could’ve found out how dire this is sooner

Instead I learned how much looks matter the long and painful way

 

[laytonsreccesed]

I feel this too. I feel like if I wasn't ugly I would be a different person from what I am today, much more confident and just happier.

 

[Prøphet]

I was destined to be this way, my dad is ND in denial

On my moms side basically every male for some reason seems to be aspie to varying degrees

So it’s no surprise I have some level of it as well

But in school I remember a few times where I would see other aspies with similar struggles as me, but because they looked mtn instead of subhuman they were still able to find acceptance

 

[RecessedCels]

This is probably true for the majority of the so called "introverts"

 

[tansel]

you feel “shame” because you are sober

just take pregabalin & relax

you also need to be in social situations to be an extrovert

if your college classes are online then what can you do

& forget about being crosseyed man

those days are over

 

[Prøphet]

you feel “shame” because you are sober

just take pregabalin & relax

you also need to be in social situations to be an extrovert

if your college classes are online then what can you do

& forget about being crosseyed man

those days are over

Every week I choose a day where I’ll drink before a social interaction so it goes more smoothly building up positive reinforcement for me

Unfortunately it makes no real difference for the rest of the interactions

 

[ethnogitis]

Same, whenever Im rotting at home like i always do I always want to atleast go out and socialize, and whenever I try to do that I just want to go back and rot. its the same cycle everyday

 

[tansel]

Every week I choose a day where I’ll drink before a social interaction so it goes more smoothly building up positive reinforcement for me

Unfortunately it makes no real difference for the rest of the interactions

well

first of all

you are a complete idiot for drinking alcohol every week

& i am saying this to you as a close friend who cares about you

stop drinking that poison

it will age you like no other

& also i don’t get it

you talk about being in isolation

& then you say you have social interactions every week

so which is it lol

 

[Prøphet]

well

first of all

you are a complete idiot for drinking alcohol every week

& i am saying this to you as a close friend who cares about you

stop drinking that poison

it will age you like no other

& also i don’t get it

you talk about being in isolation

& then you say you have social interactions every week

so which is it lol

Well it’s not really social interactions it’s more leaving the house to do things

Like going to the store or getting a haircut or visiting relatives

I know this sounds comical but it’s better than nothing

 

[tansel]

Well it’s not really social interactions it’s more leaving the house to do things

Like going to the store or getting a haircut or visiting relatives

I know this sounds comical but it’s better than nothing

how do you even have access to alcohol? ur 19 man

 

[Prøphet]

how do you even have access to alcohol? ur 19 man

Don’t wanna say tbh

 

[tansel]

Don’t wanna say tbh

ok

again

i do not wish anything bad for you

you are a kind guy who i consider to be a great friend

stop drinking alcohol

it will age you severely