I think Ive spent more time alone than anyone here

[Prøphet]

I can count on one hand how many true friends Ive had in my 18 years on earth

I think Ive spent about 75% of my waking life passing it silently by myself

I remember even in 1st grade I was like this, invisible and silent

And very afraid

No one wanted anything to do with me, so instead of fixing what’s wrong with me, I told myself I wanted nothing to do with anyone

At this point I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make a real connection with anyone

Conversation is an alien thing to me because the only worthwhile conversations Ive had were with myself

All I do is think, all I know is what’s in my head, it feels unfamiliar and weird interacting with others in even the most elementary way, dynamics are alien to me, I took isolation to the extreme and it’s over now, I see things in a way no one else does

 

[Decha]

Try 3 years neetmaxxing.

 

[Vantablack]

i had a total of 0 friends from 10-15 years old that i met outside of school, and for most of that time i barely even interacted with my parents. then for two years i was completely locked in during covid cuz my parents were scared shitless. i don’t even remember most of my youth, that’s how much damage the isolation in my youth has caused me

 

[Prøphet]

Try 3 years neetmaxxing.

Im scared man. I feel too stunted and held back to ever succeed in the environment of a job, but I’ll never be able to afford my surgeries if I don’t find some magical way to pull it off and turn my life around

 

[Decha]

Im scared man. I feel too stunted and held back to ever succeed in the environment of a job, but I’ll never be able to afford my surgeries if I don’t find some magical way to pull it off and turn my life around

Yeah I'm thinking of quitting myself soon and getting a job

 

[Prøphet]

i had a total of 0 friends from 10-15 years old that i met outside of school, and for most of that time i barely even interacted with my parents. then for two years i was completely locked in during covid cuz my parents were scared shitless. i don’t even remember most of my youth, that’s how much damage the isolation in my youth has caused me

Same, I blamed my isolation on my strict parents at first but that was only one part of it. Even when they became less strict I was still too afraid and self hating to try and make any connection. The few times I did try were embarrassing and humiliating for me because of my sub3 face and lack of social experience. What a vicious cycle. My youth is also a blur pretty much and I think I might be damaged irreversibly because I never hit the milestones. The longer I isolate myself the worse I get.

 

[Decha]

Same, I blamed my isolation on my strict parents at first but that was only one part of it. Even when they became less strict I was still too afraid and self hating to try and make any connection. The few times I did try were embarrassing and humiliating for me because of my sub3 face and lack of social experience. What a vicious cycle. My youth is also a blur pretty much and I think I might be damaged irreversibly because I never hit the milestones. The longer I isolate myself the worse I get.

I would pull back on blaming yourself for how things turned out. If you're actually subhuman, the world acted on you rather than you acting on it. Things couldn't have gone any other way

 

[Deleted member 129366]

kill yourself then pussy

 

[Prøphet]

I would pull back on blaming yourself for how things turned out. If you're actually subhuman, the world acted on you rather than you acting on it. Things couldn't have gone any other way

Yeah, Ive always been bottom 5th %ile in looks and pretty ND, questionable parenting added on to that and often I wonder if I ever even had a chance at a “Normal” life. It’s hard not to beat yourself up tho

 

[Prøphet]

kill yourself then pussy

No, there’s always the chance things could get better for me

 

[nobodylovesme]

You probably are just a bad friend then

 

[NOCTURNALDEATH]

I can count on one hand how many true friends Ive had in my 18 years on earth

I think Ive spent about 75% of my waking life passing it silently by myself

I remember even in 1st grade I was like this, invisible and silent

And very afraid

No one wanted anything to do with me, so instead of fixing what’s wrong with me, I told myself I wanted nothing to do with anyone

At this point I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make a real connection with anyone

Conversation is an alien thing to me because the only worthwhile conversations Ive had were with myself

All I do is think, all I know is what’s in my head, it feels unfamiliar and weird interacting with others in even the most elementary way, dynamics are alien to me, I took isolation to the extreme and it’s over now, I see things in a way no one else does

Get used to it. Im not going to give you kind words because theres nothing kind to say. At the end of the day this is how you become stoic and very secure in yourself. Now if you want to get good at talking to people get a job where you have to ACTUALLY interact with people. Not like some fast food job where you take their orders, im talking about a job where you have to get to know people. Try working at a gym so you have no other option but to talk to people.

 

[Prøphet]

Get used to it. Im not going to give you kind words because theres nothing kind to say. At the end of the day this is how you become stoic and very secure in yourself. Now if you want to get good at talking to people get a job where you have to ACTUALLY interact with people. Not like some fast food job where you take their orders, im talking about a job where you have to get to know people. Try working at a gym so you have no other option but to talk to people.

So I should grow some balls?

 

[Prøphet]

You probably are just a bad friend then

True

 

[NOCTURNALDEATH]

So I should grow some balls?

I mean yeah because its better to learn no ones going to hold your hand through life especially because were men but i see ts everyday where grow me are genuinely some fucking pussies and its bc theyve had their hand held their whole life