i think the biggest problem is this: neither the man, nor the woman dare to approach/ask out each other

[_MVP_]

and its because it feels wrong to approach, both are scared of rejection

what kind of a sick system is this, that u would approach foids, but you absolutely cant. your body is not allowing you to approach women and punishes you with unbearable feeling when u try to approoach. and there is nothing u can do against this. why is the system like that?

@paladincel_
@Changmentum
@gookcelriceR
@TheLightOfMyLife
@deadstock

 

[Deleted member 130915]

I would never ask women out because im a fat hideous subhuman porch monkey piece of shit

idk why white guys are afraid to ask out women though? white women are usually quite sweet and kind so they won’t be mean even if they reject you

 

[_MVP_]

You're touching on something that many people—especially men—feel deeply but rarely express so directly: the internal conflict between desire and fear, between the urge to connect and the terror of rejection. It's not just "you." This is a widespread psychological and social dynamic that stems from biological wiring, social conditioning, and modern cultural contradictions.


Let’s unpack why this “sick system” exists:

---

1. Biological Wiring: Evolutionary Roots​

Humans evolved in small tribes where social rejection could mean literal danger—being outcast from the group. That ancient wiring is still active. Rejection isn’t just “embarrassing”—your nervous system treats it like a survival threat. Your body pumps cortisol, adrenaline, and fear hormones when you contemplate approaching someone—especially if there’s a sexual or romantic element involved. It can feel physically painful or paralyzing. That’s not weakness; that’s outdated evolutionary software.

---

2. Modern Society Confuses the Rules​

In the past, there were clear rituals and norms for dating and courtship. Now:

• You're told to “be bold,” but also “don’t be creepy.”
• Women are told to “be independent,” but still often expect men to take initiative.
• Consent culture (which is important) has also added layers of caution and second-guessing.

The rules are confusing and contradictory, and both men and women are scared—of embarrassment, misunderstanding, or even social punishment.

---

3. Shame + Fear Conditioning​

From a young age, many boys are not emotionally taught how to handle vulnerability. You’re expected to “man up,” suppress emotion, and not fear rejection. But when you do fear it (which is natural), you’re left with shame on top of fear.


That creates a loop:

• Try to approach → Panic → Retreat → Shame → Reinforced fear → Try again → Panic...

Eventually, your body literally shuts you down when you try to reach out. That’s a trauma loop. Not from a single event, but from years of micro-wounds.

---

4. Learned Helplessness​

After enough negative or humiliating experiences (or just imagining them), your nervous system stops trying. You may rationalize it with logic:

"It's just not worth it. It shouldn't be this hard. I shouldn't have to do this."

But beneath that, your body has learned:

"When I try to connect, I get hurt."
So it shuts down to protect you.

---

What Can You Do?​

There are things you can do—but they’re not “pickup tricks.” They’re nervous system rewiring + social skill building:

1. Desensitize the fear slowly (tiny interactions, not with the goal of "getting" anything).
2. Shift your goal from "getting a yes" to "getting comfortable with being vulnerable."
3. Practice rejection deliberately (search “rejection therapy”—very powerful).
4. Find others (men and women) who are real, open, and also struggling with connection. Community heals.
5. Work on the trauma loop—through meditation, therapy, or somatic practices (not just thinking, but feeling through the body).

---

Final Thought​

You're right: it is a broken system. But it’s not hopeless. You’re not broken. You’re responding appropriately to a world that has taught you fear and shame around something as natural as wanting connection.


The system is broken—but you can unbreak yourself.


Want help designing a step-by-step plan to break the loop?

 

[Deleted member 130915]

You're touching on something that many people—especially men—feel deeply but rarely express so directly: the internal conflict between desire and fear, between the urge to connect and the terror of rejection. It's not just "you." This is a widespread psychological and social dynamic that stems from biological wiring, social conditioning, and modern cultural contradictions.


Let’s unpack why this “sick system” exists:

---

1. Biological Wiring: Evolutionary Roots​

Humans evolved in small tribes where social rejection could mean literal danger—being outcast from the group. That ancient wiring is still active. Rejection isn’t just “embarrassing”—your nervous system treats it like a survival threat. Your body pumps cortisol, adrenaline, and fear hormones when you contemplate approaching someone—especially if there’s a sexual or romantic element involved. It can feel physically painful or paralyzing. That’s not weakness; that’s outdated evolutionary software.

---

2. Modern Society Confuses the Rules​

In the past, there were clear rituals and norms for dating and courtship. Now:

• You're told to “be bold,” but also “don’t be creepy.”
• Women are told to “be independent,” but still often expect men to take initiative.
• Consent culture (which is important) has also added layers of caution and second-guessing.

The rules are confusing and contradictory, and both men and women are scared—of embarrassment, misunderstanding, or even social punishment.

---

3. Shame + Fear Conditioning​

From a young age, many boys are not emotionally taught how to handle vulnerability. You’re expected to “man up,” suppress emotion, and not fear rejection. But when you do fear it (which is natural), you’re left with shame on top of fear.


That creates a loop:

• Try to approach → Panic → Retreat → Shame → Reinforced fear → Try again → Panic...

Eventually, your body literally shuts you down when you try to reach out. That’s a trauma loop. Not from a single event, but from years of micro-wounds.

---

4. Learned Helplessness​

After enough negative or humiliating experiences (or just imagining them), your nervous system stops trying. You may rationalize it with logic:




But beneath that, your body has learned:

---

What Can You Do?​

There are things you can do—but they’re not “pickup tricks.” They’re nervous system rewiring + social skill building:

1. Desensitize the fear slowly (tiny interactions, not with the goal of "getting" anything).
2. Shift your goal from "getting a yes" to "getting comfortable with being vulnerable."
3. Practice rejection deliberately (search “rejection therapy”—very powerful).
4. Find others (men and women) who are real, open, and also struggling with connection. Community heals.
5. Work on the trauma loop—through meditation, therapy, or somatic practices (not just thinking, but feeling through the body).

---

Final Thought​

You're right: it is a broken system. But it’s not hopeless. You’re not broken. You’re responding appropriately to a world that has taught you fear and shame around something as natural as wanting connection.


The system is broken—but you can unbreak yourself.


Want help designing a step-by-step plan to break the loop?

Ask chatGPT how to approach women as a fat ass moon cricket

 

[paladincel_]

Are you using GPT 5 or the older version?

 

[paladincel_]

Even if you approached they would be weirded out beyond comprehension. Like they literally wouldn't even know how to respond to a stranger asking them to be his GF.

 

[_MVP_]

Even if you approached they would be weirded out beyond comprehension. Like they literally wouldn't even know how to respond to a stranger asking them to be his GF.

i respectfully disagree

they wouldnt be weirded out, its normal for them, especially for stacies

they would know how to respond, because they experienced being cold approached by ethnics in the city

 

[paladincel_]

i respectfully disagree

they wouldnt be weirded out, its normal for them, especially for stacies

they would know how to respond, because they experienced being cold approached by ethnics in the city

That's the case for some.