HispanicMogger
ig: @hispanicmogger
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2026
- Posts
- 54
- Reputation
- 58
i spent a long time thinking my personality was fundamentally fucked.
got diagnosed with bpd, took the medication i was given, and honestly?
i think being on the wrong treatment made that period even worse.
now i’m officially diagnosed with adhd and i’ve started taking adhd medication.
holy shit.
the difference is actually insane.
my brain feels quieter.
less fucking chaos.
better focus.
better control over impulses.
i can actually do things instead of constantly fighting my own brain.
it genuinely feels like my brain finally got the fucking lock-in patch.
and suddenly a lot of shit from that period makes way more sense.
the worst part is that she knew me during that exact fucking era.
she got the most dysregulated, impulsive and dysfunctional version of me.
so yeah, i hurt her.
and i’m not going to rewrite history and blame everything on adhd. i fucked up. she had every right to be hurt by some of the things i did.
but i also wonder how different her perception of me would have been if i had been properly diagnosed and treated back then.
because once someone gets labelled “bpd”, every emotional reaction suddenly becomes borderline behaviour.
maybe i wasn’t secretly a broken person.
maybe i was just an untreated adhd guy having the worst fucking arc of his life.
getting the right diagnosis doesn’t erase the damage.
it doesn’t magically un-cook the past.
it just finally tells me what the fuck i’m actually supposed to fix.
got diagnosed with bpd, took the medication i was given, and honestly?
i think being on the wrong treatment made that period even worse.
now i’m officially diagnosed with adhd and i’ve started taking adhd medication.
holy shit.
the difference is actually insane.
my brain feels quieter.
less fucking chaos.
better focus.
better control over impulses.
i can actually do things instead of constantly fighting my own brain.
it genuinely feels like my brain finally got the fucking lock-in patch.
and suddenly a lot of shit from that period makes way more sense.
the worst part is that she knew me during that exact fucking era.
she got the most dysregulated, impulsive and dysfunctional version of me.
so yeah, i hurt her.
and i’m not going to rewrite history and blame everything on adhd. i fucked up. she had every right to be hurt by some of the things i did.
but i also wonder how different her perception of me would have been if i had been properly diagnosed and treated back then.
because once someone gets labelled “bpd”, every emotional reaction suddenly becomes borderline behaviour.
maybe i wasn’t secretly a broken person.
maybe i was just an untreated adhd guy having the worst fucking arc of his life.
getting the right diagnosis doesn’t erase the damage.
it doesn’t magically un-cook the past.
it just finally tells me what the fuck i’m actually supposed to fix.
