Deleted member 13137
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I took Citalopram Hydrobromide from Jan 2020 - Sep 2020. It is the generic form of Celexa which is basically a double whammy drug for anxiety + depression.
Did not realize this would become a novel but too bad. You are not obligated to read/care.
TL;DR you feel like you're in constant post-jerkoff lethargy and basically you're a homo faggit who doesn't even want women
The best way to describe being on SSRI's: the exact moment after you bust a nut to your phone screen into a sock and you just lay there. You have no physical cravings, desires or pain but you totally unfulfilled and lethargic. I thought they were a godsend for the first 2 months because I no longer felt the sharp pain I had been feeling the past year and a half. Kind of like when you were just hitting puberty and thought masturbation was basically Jesus Christ himself until you hit 17-18 and realized you were a useless organism who was sexually attracted to your iPad pro. This feeling quickly disappeared. Every time I would forget my pill I would have a full-on anxiety attack. I had to leave work several times in order to drive home to take my pilly. In 30 minutes, I was calm and docile again. But each incident made me realize how anxious and fearful I was naturally which made the underlying symptoms of anxiety and depression worse.
That is the main gist of it. Here are other experiences I had:
Sex-I didn't have full on ED but found my thoughts drifting towards work or what I was going to cook that night WHILE I WAS HAVING SEX. I was able to remain hard the whole time (about 45 minutes) but just barely hard. It was physically hard for me to cum. I had to focus my brain so hard to feel aroused. I explained my medication to her and she wasn't offended or anything but it definitely was bad sex for both of us. Keep in mind this was 3 weeks since I had last bust a nut, sex or otherwise.
Alcohol-Oh boy this was bad. I guess my doctor didn't let me know I wasn't supposed to drink while on the meds (found out fast tho ha) because I was 19 when he prescribed them. Literally two glasses of whiskey, which used to be FINE before, and I was literally by myself, in my room, all the lights off sobbing my eyes out about how shitty my life was and planning my suicide. Worst night of my life other than when I took 990mg of DXM, thought I saw the devil coming for my soul, completely disassociated, threw up for a half hour straight until I was dry heaving and apparently called my mom in the middle of it all. That was worse.
Lifting: I started lifting at 17 and was constant until 18 1/2. Then I got depressed and took it less seriously. After I was on SSRI's, I dropped lifting at all. It's literally impossible. Your body will not do hard things and you have 0 motivation.
Pros: not many but some. Kept me from the imminent suicide ledge I was on before taking them. Ultimately made my depression/anxiety worse but I guess that's better than killing myself early 2020 and having no chance of recovery. Also shortly after starting them I started working in 100% commission sales and they kept me so emotionless that I was able to make 500 calls a day and get called a faggit bitch and not care. I ended up making like 7k in July I think although I blew it all and was never able to replicate lol.
Finally flushed the pills away in Sep 2020. I still crave them. Many times I have almost called my doctor asking for them back but fuck that, I want to ascend not stay stagnant.
Did not realize this would become a novel but too bad. You are not obligated to read/care.
TL;DR you feel like you're in constant post-jerkoff lethargy and basically you're a homo faggit who doesn't even want women
The best way to describe being on SSRI's: the exact moment after you bust a nut to your phone screen into a sock and you just lay there. You have no physical cravings, desires or pain but you totally unfulfilled and lethargic. I thought they were a godsend for the first 2 months because I no longer felt the sharp pain I had been feeling the past year and a half. Kind of like when you were just hitting puberty and thought masturbation was basically Jesus Christ himself until you hit 17-18 and realized you were a useless organism who was sexually attracted to your iPad pro. This feeling quickly disappeared. Every time I would forget my pill I would have a full-on anxiety attack. I had to leave work several times in order to drive home to take my pilly. In 30 minutes, I was calm and docile again. But each incident made me realize how anxious and fearful I was naturally which made the underlying symptoms of anxiety and depression worse.
That is the main gist of it. Here are other experiences I had:
Sex-I didn't have full on ED but found my thoughts drifting towards work or what I was going to cook that night WHILE I WAS HAVING SEX. I was able to remain hard the whole time (about 45 minutes) but just barely hard. It was physically hard for me to cum. I had to focus my brain so hard to feel aroused. I explained my medication to her and she wasn't offended or anything but it definitely was bad sex for both of us. Keep in mind this was 3 weeks since I had last bust a nut, sex or otherwise.
Alcohol-Oh boy this was bad. I guess my doctor didn't let me know I wasn't supposed to drink while on the meds (found out fast tho ha) because I was 19 when he prescribed them. Literally two glasses of whiskey, which used to be FINE before, and I was literally by myself, in my room, all the lights off sobbing my eyes out about how shitty my life was and planning my suicide. Worst night of my life other than when I took 990mg of DXM, thought I saw the devil coming for my soul, completely disassociated, threw up for a half hour straight until I was dry heaving and apparently called my mom in the middle of it all. That was worse.
Lifting: I started lifting at 17 and was constant until 18 1/2. Then I got depressed and took it less seriously. After I was on SSRI's, I dropped lifting at all. It's literally impossible. Your body will not do hard things and you have 0 motivation.
Pros: not many but some. Kept me from the imminent suicide ledge I was on before taking them. Ultimately made my depression/anxiety worse but I guess that's better than killing myself early 2020 and having no chance of recovery. Also shortly after starting them I started working in 100% commission sales and they kept me so emotionless that I was able to make 500 calls a day and get called a faggit bitch and not care. I ended up making like 7k in July I think although I blew it all and was never able to replicate lol.
Finally flushed the pills away in Sep 2020. I still crave them. Many times I have almost called my doctor asking for them back but fuck that, I want to ascend not stay stagnant.
