
Sixatheconqueror
Iron
- Joined
- May 9, 2025
- Posts
- 201
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It all started when I saw an Instagram reel that said “blood to the brain = brain gains.” I didn't question it. I don’t have time to fact-check when I'm on the grind. I rigged two gymnastic rings from my ceiling fan, slapped on some knee wraps, and by 2:34 AM, I was hanging upside down in full compression socks and a blindfold. It felt wrong. It felt right.
Day 1: The Awakening
First 30 seconds were powerful. I felt the rush. By minute 2, my vision blurred. By minute 4, I saw God. He whispered, "Caveat emptor." I don’t speak Latin, but I understood him. I passed out shortly after. When I woke up, I craved beetroot and Gregorian chants. Something was happening.
Day 2: Brain Expansion
I started finishing people’s sentences before they spoke. I solved a Rubik’s Cube in my mind while upside down. My cat meowed — I understood it. He said, "You’re close." Close to what? I didn’t ask. I was becoming post-human.
Day 3: The Roman Empire
I woke up yelling “SPQR” and carved a bust of Julius Caesar out of a sweet potato. I started referring to my kitchen as “the forum.” My mom asked me to stop yelling "Veni Vidi Vici" at delivery drivers. I refused. This was my path.
Day 4: Rejection
I tried explaining my method to a girl on Tinder. She unmatched me after I sent her a picture of me hanging from the ceiling in compression shorts. I told her it was for vascularity and cognition. She said "You’re unwell." I took it as a compliment.
Day 5: The Downfall
I tried going full vampire mode. No sunlight. Only grapes and cold cuts. I hissed at my landlord. I got evicted. I hung from a jungle gym in the park, chanting Latin phrases at pigeons. They listened.
Day 6: Rock Bottom
I fell off the ceiling trying to double hang with ankle weights. I saw a flash of the Roman Colosseum. A lion nodded at me. I woke up with a nosebleed and an urge to file my teeth.
Day 7: Acceptance
I now sleep upright again. But sometimes, I wake buy subscription to continue you nigger
Day 1: The Awakening
First 30 seconds were powerful. I felt the rush. By minute 2, my vision blurred. By minute 4, I saw God. He whispered, "Caveat emptor." I don’t speak Latin, but I understood him. I passed out shortly after. When I woke up, I craved beetroot and Gregorian chants. Something was happening.
Day 2: Brain Expansion
I started finishing people’s sentences before they spoke. I solved a Rubik’s Cube in my mind while upside down. My cat meowed — I understood it. He said, "You’re close." Close to what? I didn’t ask. I was becoming post-human.
Day 3: The Roman Empire
I woke up yelling “SPQR” and carved a bust of Julius Caesar out of a sweet potato. I started referring to my kitchen as “the forum.” My mom asked me to stop yelling "Veni Vidi Vici" at delivery drivers. I refused. This was my path.
Day 4: Rejection
I tried explaining my method to a girl on Tinder. She unmatched me after I sent her a picture of me hanging from the ceiling in compression shorts. I told her it was for vascularity and cognition. She said "You’re unwell." I took it as a compliment.
Day 5: The Downfall
I tried going full vampire mode. No sunlight. Only grapes and cold cuts. I hissed at my landlord. I got evicted. I hung from a jungle gym in the park, chanting Latin phrases at pigeons. They listened.
Day 6: Rock Bottom
I fell off the ceiling trying to double hang with ankle weights. I saw a flash of the Roman Colosseum. A lion nodded at me. I woke up with a nosebleed and an urge to file my teeth.
Day 7: Acceptance
I now sleep upright again. But sometimes, I wake buy subscription to continue you nigger