i want to feel that again i plan to do it on a other girl that probably still think abt me but im not sure

[Vannx]

i killed my childhood flirt 3 years ago after reconnecting with her, i played on nostalgia to make her feel something again, or amplified her sentiment toward me. We talked again about our days spent together at middle school and after middle school when we were walking together until her home and laughed on the road. i remember the first time it was she, who wanted to accompany me back home, i didn’t understand it at first until she asked me where i lived. At that moment, i was starting to feel positive emotion about her, i wanted her for myself but unfortunately i moved out and changed a few years later. I no longer feel anything for her but i wanted to see her again out of curiosity, i had already felt urge to kill before that it was under murderous urges that i unleashed on two cats to be exact, the others ones i gave them superficial wounds or made them infirm i already had a plan in mind. it was to isolate her from the world and to make her enter mine i wanted to do that by using urbex as an excuse to have her, just me, in the middle of a void in an abandoned place like me. At first, she was reticent, I didn’t force myself to seem strange, but me if was a girl i would have found it exciting but let’s move on a few weeks later, after two dates together i built trust between us and told her again about urbex. i told her that i had never done it before and that i wanted to experiment it with her. i was also referring to sex but from her perspective she didnt get it i guess , we are when we arrived, we explored playing and i fucked her at first, it was soft and very sentimental, then i started to incur my nails in her, to hold her hair strong and to be vulgar a part of me wanted to cry thinking of a parrallel futur where things could have been better but at the end of it i killed her, then i fucked her corpse several times.