glennwinchester
Iron
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2026
- Posts
- 6
- Reputation
- 4
"Ascend and forget"
Thats what I've been trying to do. I've pretty much reached my natural limit for softmaxxes, I take no pharmaceuticals or had any procedures done. But still, because I started age 14 the results are significant. I grew up as a chud and growing up as a chud, you experience lookism. This left traumas in me and combined with the fact that I am probably nd, this shaped my mental state to what it is today. Im still insecure, I still fear conflict of any kind and everytime someone shows me love, affection or kindness I'm wondering, what they're trying to get out of me. Even though I notice ioi's and pretty obvious signs of affection I am in denial. The largest part of my ascension was in isolation, nobody contacted me outside of my family and a few people from my martial arts gym. My ascension doesn't even feel like I've changed, but more as if I switched my body. Im still the insecure boy from high-school, but in a new body. It's like giving a little child millions of dollars, every interaction I have now feels wierd, because before, anytime anyone would be nice to me is when they wanted something from me, but now I can't judge if this is still the case or if it's the halo.
I just can't forget my chud past, its ingrained in my head.
The only thing which works for me right now is shizomaxxing a Tyler durden into my head and act a role, but this isn't me, its so exhausting.
Ascending, like anything else won't solve your problems. Maybe if you become chad, but I probably not higher than htn. Life may start at htn, but only if you were born as one...
Thats what I've been trying to do. I've pretty much reached my natural limit for softmaxxes, I take no pharmaceuticals or had any procedures done. But still, because I started age 14 the results are significant. I grew up as a chud and growing up as a chud, you experience lookism. This left traumas in me and combined with the fact that I am probably nd, this shaped my mental state to what it is today. Im still insecure, I still fear conflict of any kind and everytime someone shows me love, affection or kindness I'm wondering, what they're trying to get out of me. Even though I notice ioi's and pretty obvious signs of affection I am in denial. The largest part of my ascension was in isolation, nobody contacted me outside of my family and a few people from my martial arts gym. My ascension doesn't even feel like I've changed, but more as if I switched my body. Im still the insecure boy from high-school, but in a new body. It's like giving a little child millions of dollars, every interaction I have now feels wierd, because before, anytime anyone would be nice to me is when they wanted something from me, but now I can't judge if this is still the case or if it's the halo.
I just can't forget my chud past, its ingrained in my head.
The only thing which works for me right now is shizomaxxing a Tyler durden into my head and act a role, but this isn't me, its so exhausting.
Ascending, like anything else won't solve your problems. Maybe if you become chad, but I probably not higher than htn. Life may start at htn, but only if you were born as one...
