I was always avoidant and overthought everything and couldn't seize the moment

[soulless_npc]

I can't say I never had opportunities. Even when shit presented itself to me I was avoidant. I had interest shown but I blew it on more than one occasion and didn't know how to properly respond.

Instead I was high inhib, in my head, and embarrassed and shy when I got any attention, because I was retarded and too busy judging myself to live in the moment.