Jack Black
Legend of the Rent Free
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2019
- Posts
- 642
- Reputation
- 447
I wish I lived in an alternate universe where Jack Black wasn't only casted in movies for being the fattest thing alive. When people look at my face they are reminded of Jack Black, they are reminded of the fat subhuman who slowed down the cast on the jungle adventure in Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. They are reminded that Jumanji came out 2 years late because it took so long to edit to get his entire size into the movie frames.
But in this alternate universe I want to live in Jack Black is casted because he is muscular and healthy, not because he is the fattest thing to walk this earth. In this reality when people look at me and see my face looks like Jack Black they are reminded of muscles and someone who saves woman from the jungle.
I want a universe where Jack Blacks movie contracts involve hours of exercise and high protein intake opposite to his current contacts demanding he lives at a restaurant. I WISH JACK BLACK COULD TRADE PLACES TO DWAYNE JOHNSON!!!
I WISH JACK BLACK AND DWAYNE JOHNSON SWAPPED REALITIES WHERE DWAYNE IS THE FATTEST THING TO WALK THIS EARTH AND JACK BLACK IS THE MUSCULAR HUNK SAVING PEOPLE FROM DISASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT NO THIS WILL NEVER BECOME REALITY BECAUSE BEING A FAT PIECE OF CRAP WILL GET YOU MORE MONEY AND PUT YOU IN HIGHER DEMAND FOR MOVIE ROLES SO THEY CAN JUST MAKE FUN OF THE FACT THAT A CRATER IS LEFT EVERY TIME YOU STAND UP!!!!!
I MOURN!!!!!!!!!! MY LIFE IS MISERY BECAUSE OF JACK BLACKS FOUL CASH COWING!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY COULDN'T HE JUST BE CONTENT WITH THE MONEY HE HAS AND GO BACK TO MAKING MOVIES THAT DO NOT REVOLVE AROUND HIM BEING THE FATTEST PIECE OF CRAP TO HAVE EVER WALK THIS EARTH!!!!!!!!!
Everyone sees Jack Black when they see me in real life, I cannot escape Jack if I wanted to. I am tormented and punished to dwell upon this earth reminding everyone of the fattest piece of crap to have ever fit on a cinema screen. A man who has never left the house with a candy bar in every pocket he has. A man who is literally paid to LDAR so he can get into character for his next big Hollywood movie once again playing the fattest subhuman you have ever seen who is used to make Dwayne Johnson look like a Greek god in comparison.
But in this alternate universe I want to live in Jack Black is casted because he is muscular and healthy, not because he is the fattest thing to walk this earth. In this reality when people look at me and see my face looks like Jack Black they are reminded of muscles and someone who saves woman from the jungle.
I want a universe where Jack Blacks movie contracts involve hours of exercise and high protein intake opposite to his current contacts demanding he lives at a restaurant. I WISH JACK BLACK COULD TRADE PLACES TO DWAYNE JOHNSON!!!
I WISH JACK BLACK AND DWAYNE JOHNSON SWAPPED REALITIES WHERE DWAYNE IS THE FATTEST THING TO WALK THIS EARTH AND JACK BLACK IS THE MUSCULAR HUNK SAVING PEOPLE FROM DISASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT NO THIS WILL NEVER BECOME REALITY BECAUSE BEING A FAT PIECE OF CRAP WILL GET YOU MORE MONEY AND PUT YOU IN HIGHER DEMAND FOR MOVIE ROLES SO THEY CAN JUST MAKE FUN OF THE FACT THAT A CRATER IS LEFT EVERY TIME YOU STAND UP!!!!!
I MOURN!!!!!!!!!! MY LIFE IS MISERY BECAUSE OF JACK BLACKS FOUL CASH COWING!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY COULDN'T HE JUST BE CONTENT WITH THE MONEY HE HAS AND GO BACK TO MAKING MOVIES THAT DO NOT REVOLVE AROUND HIM BEING THE FATTEST PIECE OF CRAP TO HAVE EVER WALK THIS EARTH!!!!!!!!!
Everyone sees Jack Black when they see me in real life, I cannot escape Jack if I wanted to. I am tormented and punished to dwell upon this earth reminding everyone of the fattest piece of crap to have ever fit on a cinema screen. A man who has never left the house with a candy bar in every pocket he has. A man who is literally paid to LDAR so he can get into character for his next big Hollywood movie once again playing the fattest subhuman you have ever seen who is used to make Dwayne Johnson look like a Greek god in comparison.
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