fractual
Iron
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2025
- Posts
- 221
- Reputation
- 153
Sometimes it actually feels like I’m trapped inside this height, like I didn’t grow into it, it just happened to me too fast and now I’m stuck carrying it around everywhere, 6 feet at 14 and everyone treats it like I hit some kind of jackpot, like I should be grateful every second, but they don’t get how loud it is, how constant it is, like a buzzing in my head made out of the same five phrases on repeat—“you’re so tall,” “what are they feeding you,” “you play basketball?”—over and over until it doesn’t even sound like language anymore, just noise, just pressure, just expectation stacking on expectation. And the compliments, yeah, they never stop, people hyping it up like it’s the only thing that matters, like I’m some kind of walking measurement instead of a person, and it gets to the point where even praise feels suffocating, like I can’t escape being seen, being noticed, being evaluated every time I walk into a room. Sometimes I catch myself wishing I was shorter, not even drastically, just enough to disappear into a crowd, to exist without being immediately labeled, without people assuming I’m older, stronger, supposed to lead, supposed to dominate, supposed to be something I didn’t sign up for. It’s like I skipped a level I wasn’t ready for and now everyone expects me to play the part perfectly, and if I don’t, it’s confusing to them, like the height should come with confidence, with certainty, with some kind of built-in identity, but it doesn’t, it just amplifies everything, every awkward moment, every insecurity, every second of not knowing what I’m doing. And I know how it sounds, I know people would trade for this in a second, I hear that too, but that almost makes it worse, because then I feel like I’m not even allowed to be tired of it, like I have to perform gratitude on top of everything else, like even my own feelings about my own body have to match what everyone else thinks they’d feel if they had it, and it just keeps looping, louder and louder, until all I want is one day where nobody says anything about it, where I can just walk in somewhere and be average, invisible, unremarkable, just for a second, just to remember what that even feels like
(PLEASE READ SOME MOLECULES)
(PLEASE READ SOME MOLECULES)
