I would be willing to give up going ER to find love

[Deleted member 22124]

You know all of this retribution, revenge, ending humanity stuff is only because I fear being unloveable. I need a terrible person to accept me with all of my flaws and past sins. That's the only way for me to find peace. If God exists and isn't terrible then he should at least give me the chance.

Everyone who's all lovey-dovey, be nice kind of guys all have some love in their lives. E.g. @Tabula Rasa has loving family and @MonkeyDLuffy2003 has sex and loving family too. It's easy for them to be kind, barely an accomplishment. I'm not trying to take anything away from them, but they also shouldn't expect people who have no one to be able to forgive and look more positively at things, because frankly, they don't know what they're talking about.

 

[Squirtoutmabooty]

Why would you be unloveable?

 

[Deleted member 22124]

Why would you be unloveable?

I had an injury in my arm and it looks funny when I flex it

 

[Squirtoutmabooty]

I had an injury in my arm and it looks funny when I flex it

Not a big deal tbh tbh

 

[Deleted member 22124]

Not a big deal tbh tbh

Thank you... Maybe the problem is in my head. Idk what to do I need help. I have no one to turn to.

 

[Squirtoutmabooty]

Thank you... Maybe the problem is in my head. Idk what to do I need help. I have no one to turn to.

I’m not going to act like not having a loving supportive family isn’t really hard, but if you put yourself out there I really think you’ll eventually find someone who gets you for you in some capacity. Of course there’s no guarantee but it seems pretty likely

 

[Deleted member 22124]

I’m not going to act like not having a loving supportive family isn’t really hard, but if you put yourself out there I really think you’ll eventually find someone who gets you for you in some capacity. Of course there’s no guarantee but it seems pretty likely

My mother never loved me. She convinced me to commit a suicide attempt in my teens. She abandoned me when I was small. Idk what's wrong with me.

I just hope I'm not too messed up in the head from this to form healthy relationships. I want to try though. I need someone who's willing to work with me and not expect too because I'm emotionally stunted. Sometimes I have unproportional reactions, catastrophize and I probably fear abandonment. It's so long since I allowed myself to be vulnerable. It's a lonely life. But thank you for believing in me.

 

[Deleted member 25059]

My mother never loved me. She convinced me to commit a suicide attempt in my teens. She abandoned me when I was small. Idk what's wrong with me.

I just hope I'm not too messed up in the head from this to form healthy relationships. I want to try though. I need someone who's willing to work with me and not expect too because I'm emotionally stunted. Sometimes I have unproportional reactions, catastrophize and I probably fear abandonment. It's so long since I allowed myself to be vulnerable. It's a lonely life. But thank you for believing in me.

it seems, going er is the only way son

 

[Deleted member 22124]

it seems, going er is the only way son

I pity you..

 

[_MVP_]

U nazi-unicorn should know there is No God

 

[Squirtoutmabooty]

My mother never loved me. She convinced me to commit a suicide attempt in my teens. She abandoned me when I was small. Idk what's wrong with me.

I just hope I'm not too messed up in the head from this to form healthy relationships. I want to try though. I need someone who's willing to work with me and not expect too because I'm emotionally stunted. Sometimes I have unproportional reactions, catastrophize and I probably fear abandonment. It's so long since I allowed myself to be vulnerable. It's a lonely life. But thank you for believing in me.

Your mother’s actions don’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. I also think the fact you fear being screwed up in the head means you’re not without hope. Try to find someone you can really talk to irl, even that means going to a therapist (even though I’m iffy at best on therapy) or a priest or whatever. Whatever you gotta do bro, you can pm me if you really want to but I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable

 

[aesthetic beauty]

You know all of this retribution, revenge, ending humanity stuff is only because I fear being unloveable. I need a terrible person to accept me with all of my flaws and past sins. That's the only way for me to find peace. If God exists and isn't terrible then he should at least give me the chance.

Everyone who's all lovey-dovey, be nice kind of guys all have some love in their lives. E.g. @Tabula Rasa has loving family and @MonkeyDLuffy2003 has sex and loving family too. It's easy for them to be kind, barely an accomplishment. I'm not trying to take anything away from them, but they also shouldn't expect people who have no one to be able to forgive and look more positively at things, because frankly, they don't know what they're talking about.

This reminds me of the scene from Parasite.

 

[Deleted member 22124]

U nazi-unicorn should know there is No God

Maybe not, who knows, buy there are good people. You're a terrible person and you seem miserable. I am also bad, but I want to do better deep down. I even cry sometimes or hold back tears when I feel pity or remorse. Idk if you ever feel like that. I don't want to speak for you in that respect, but maybe were just wired differently.

 

[Deleted member 25059]

I pity you..

the irony
nah, i pity u

 

[Deleted member 22124]

Your mother’s actions don’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. I also think the fact you fear being screwed up in the head means you’re not without hope. Try to find someone you can really talk to irl, even that means going to a therapist (even though I’m iffy at best on therapy) or a priest or whatever. Whatever you gotta do bro, you can pm me if you really want to but I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable

Thank you. I might do that. It means a lot to me that you're willing to listen.

 

[Deleted member 22124]

This reminds me of the scene from Parasite.

View attachment 2349550

I don't really understand. Do I contradict myself?

 

[aesthetic beauty]

I don't really understand. Do I contradict myself?

I will post the whole scene for more context and I don’t think so, but I disagree with certain aspects of your argument.

 

[_MVP_]

Maybe not, who knows, buy there are good people. You're a terrible person and you seem miserable. I am also bad, but I want to do better deep down. I even cry sometimes or hold back tears when I feel pity or remorse. Idk if you ever feel like that. I don't want to speak for you in that respect, but maybe were just wired differently.

Even the strongest man cries.
I am Just Like you, Trust me

 

[Deleted member 24278]

I got my demons too and even now I still feel unlovable, there's darkness that surrounds me but I push through everyday.

I've been bullied, betrayed, abandoned and neglected. My biological father was kinda absent in my life, my stepdad was not too good tbh but he did his best, I've had toxic and fake friends, I had a good group who dissolved, then another one which also dissolved and so on. But I still try to be kind because I know what it feels like to need kindness but not receiving it, I know what it feels like to feel completely alone with no one to turn to.

 

[Deleted member 22124]

I got my demons too and even now I still feel unlovable, there's darkness that surrounds me but I push through everyday.

I've been bullied, betrayed, abandoned and neglected. My biological father was kinda absent in my life, my stepdad was not too good tbh but he did his best, I've had toxic and fake friends, I had a good group who dissolved, then another one which also dissolved and so on. But I still try to be kind because I know what it feels like to need kindness but not receiving it, I know what it feels like to feel completely alone with no one to turn to.

View attachment 2349672

Shut up sexhaver

 

[Deleted member 24278]

Shut up sexhaver

It's the truth tho, I was bullied with fake friends at 14 and I was completely alone for that year, had a good group, it got separated, had another one, got betrayed and separated then another one and the same shit. My abused dog mindset made me miss out on teen love and teen sex and I only lost it at 20.

Life wasn't fair to me in a lot of areas but I pushed through and now I try to be kind

 

[Deleted member 22124]

It's the truth tho, I was bullied with fake friends at 14 and I was completely alone for that year, had a good group, it got separated, had another one, got betrayed and separated then another one and the same shit. My abused dog mindset made me miss out on teen love and teen sex and I only lost it at 20.

Life wasn't fair to me in a lot of areas but I pushed through and now I try to be kind

You don't get it. Rich philanthropists and happy people often talk about things like "giving back to the world". That's a totally foreign concept to me. Give back for what? Abuse, mistreatment and neglect? Makes no sense. If I were to give back then I would have to be a terrible person. In spite of that I  still think the present matters a lot more than past tribulations. While your luck may have changed, mine remain dire.

 

[Deleted member 24278]

You don't get it. Rich philanthropists and happy people often talk about things like "giving back to the world". That's a totally foreign concept to me. Give back for what? Abuse, mistreatment and neglect? Makes no sense. If I were to give back then I would have to be a terrible person. In spite of that I  still think the present matters a lot more than past tribulations. While your luck may have changed, mine remain dire.

I'll give back to those who choose the path of kindness, the rest will rot in this unfair world

 

[Deleted member 23115]

It's the truth tho, I was bullied with fake friends at 14 and I was completely alone for that year, had a good group, it got separated, had another one, got betrayed and separated then another one and the same shit. My abused dog mindset made me miss out on teen love and teen sex and I only lost it at 20.

Life wasn't fair to me in a lot of areas but I pushed through and now I try to be kind

over

 

[Deleted member 22124]

I'll give back to those who choose the path of kindness, the rest will rot in this unfair world

I will try to attract kindness into my life, but don't get duped by the light. Everyone wants to portray themselves as kind in this modern age.

 

[Tabula Rasa]

dont assume stuff about my life lol

 

[Deleted member 22124]

dont assume stuff about my life lol

Sorry