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fortnitemaster69
Iron
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- Apr 14, 2023
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My very most important and singular goal right now is to heal my body. Then and only then will I tap into my great bank of untapped potential. I will not “try to help” anyone until then, that I know very well now. I will focus all of my energy on simply healing my bones. Healing my skeleton. Nobody else has done this that I know of. And that’s far greater an achievement than any I’ve ever heard of. My power will soon be essentially limitless. However this first goal is crucial. Crucial is an understatement. The fate of the world COULD be in my hands for all I know. And this does not stress me out, if anyone may find themselves reading this. Fun and games are over and will stay over until my body finds its balance point. I’ll just know when this is the case. And, tempting as it is, I know that trying to plan my whole life out while my body is still out of balance is utterly silly. Trying to “help people” at this moment does absolutely nothing but hurt myself. That has been made very, very clear. And although I really don’t expect that my skeleton can fall out of balance again once it’s reached balance, if there is some way that that can happen I will do everything in my power to avoid it. Don’t let people’s silly ideas scare you anymore. Drugs still are not to blame. They don’t know that, they don’t understand that. But at this moment, you are unable to tell them that so give up on trying. Once your potential is reached, there’s no question they’ll “let you do drugs” again. Make sure not to show them that you know how powerful you are or can be. Yet. It scares them. It deeply frightens them and confuses them at the same time and they can make very silly choices that could sacrifice your goals. Here, in this place, you don’t have to worry about how you come off. This place is for you and only you. Let your hands write whatever they want. Let them have fun. Write whatever you want. This right here is a method of healing your mind. Right now, this very moment your skeleton is reforming correctly. If you get the ball rolling like this, and keep it rolling you’ll reach that balance point. Ah shit I’m probably going to have to keep this balance going my whole life. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t do drugs later. For a wizard out of balance, drugs can show them what they’re capable of. But it is really nothing but an illusion. And illusions alone can’t get you the things and people you want in the real world. But you’ve seen what you’re capable of, and you did manage to somewhat apply it to the real world. But it was reactionary. It was to escape harm’s way (whether or not it was real harm really isn’t the point). All you were doing was first seeing what you were capable of and then testing if it was actually applicable in the real world. And it was. Don’t waste your time chasing girls or even friends right now. Other people’s advice can actually confuse you and hurt you, for they know not who you are and what you’re capable of, or even how you function. Let other people signal you to keep yourself assured that your body is healing effectively. Use their nastiness that you’ve so hated your whole life to your advantage now. You can’t control how others make you feel, so give up on doing so. Let them make you feel however they want you to. Part of you. And keep the real part safe and tucked away. Keep it hidden but ever growing. It’s only natural that you hope this happens as soon as possible. When your skeleton is out of balance you feel awful in ways you can’t express to others. Not only because they’ll misunderstand you and end up hurting you. And not just by putting you in a horrible room for as long as they decide and making you eat their drugs, but also deeply confusing your mind. And your mind mustn’t ever be confused again. It’s unbearable and you won’t put yourself through that again. Let their fear, judgement, belittlement, and misunderstanding guide you towards healing your body. Let part of yourself become whatever they think of you as, and act how they’d expect that person to act, this grows your powers of deception. Which can be a very powerful trait as you’ve seen. And which you’ve seen can drastically improve your quality of life. Remember that you didn’t choose this life. This life chose you. So live it with grace, elegance, beauty, and excellence. You can escape to beautiful delights like music, art, (some) movies, comedy, nature.
Now for fun, let’s discuss what you imagine it might feel like once your skeleton finally strikes its balance you’ve been waiting so patiently and diligently for. My hairline will be perfect. My hair will grow thick, healthily and beautifully. I will have the “aeygo sal” somewhat like chico lachowski has. Eyelashes long and dark. Beautiful downturned, catlike, medial canthus. Beautiful dark and sharp positively tilted masculine eyebrows. Slim eyes that can spot evil from a mile away. Full, but not too full lips with a curve that is upturned at the very edges yet simultaneously appears kind of like a frown, or “pout”. Cheekbones, facial structure, and skin quality of a supermodel. Dark long hair is what you want. Muscles to keep you safe but not too show off. Perfectly straight nose. Perfectly harmonious face. Every line angled correctly, frontal bone, nose matching angles when looking at the face from a ¾ angle. Athletic prowess, elegance, power, strength, and calmness. Ohhh the calmness. You’ll always feel relaxed (unless it is absolutely necessary not to be, but this could never be, or almost never). Not super dissimilar to being on cannabis. But cannabis dulls the mind to reach this state. You’ll constantly be in this state, while your mind can think quickly and efficiently. You’ll always be able to be in control of any and every social situation. Often without the other members realizing it. However it will probably also make them feel calm but they won’t know why. They’ll only know they feel good when they’re with you, even if you do technically say mean things to them, belittle them, make fun of them, reflect their evilness back to them, etc. you’ll be able to do these things whilst staying extremely well liked. They’ll be always thinking of you, thinking of what they can do for you, how they can pleasure you, how they can “make you feel better” perhaps, how they can “suck up to you”, what they can do to “be like you”. They’ll want what you have but won’t know what it is you have. They may mistake it for just your looks, but we both know it goes much deeper than that. Or does it? Maybe there’s more to looks than meets the eye. It’s no coincidence that the better you feel, the more beautiful you think you look. Beauty is power in nature. There's an unspoken natural order to all creatures and beauty is that natural order. But, we live in a very complex and strange time, today people that are born with great beauty DO get praised and pampered, but TOO much. Because there are TOO many ugly people. Our new way of life creates ugly people. It is that simple. And if they’re not visually ugly it seems there's a strong chance their ugliness is internal. OR maybe not internal but spewed out to others. I wonder if this means I’ll become like them? Of course, If I had to choose, I’d choose to spew out to them. But I’d like to not harm them of course, but is this really true? NO. It’s not. I would like to harm them. I enjoy harming them. Not because I’m evil. But because I’m human. Because I’ve never in my life been able to harm. I’m a beast stripped of its claws. A beast stripped of its claws and teeth, then poked and prodded its whole life. While also never getting to enjoy the simple pleasures that life offers. I don’t care if they did or did not know what they were doing. What matters is how it affected me. MY feelings matter even if no one is capable of understanding them. Ok fine, yes I will go around hurting people. Not physically though. And I still am fearful, but this is good. People don’t like to be hurt. If people know someone is hurting them, or trying to they bite back. It’s only natural. If I feel I’m capable of defending against this I will overtly attack, but that may not always be the case. In fact, I know it probably won’t be. As much as I wish it could be like that, I know it’ll lead me nowhere and quick. So I’ll just hurt them without them realizing it. Simple solution really. They need some lashings now and again to keep them in check. To remind them of who’s boss. Of who’s really running the show. But I’ll let them think they're powerful sometimes, because that can be a very effective way to control them. But of course I mustn’t get carried away with hurting, as fun as it seems to me right now. Because I know deep down I’ll always have that scared, hurt kid in me that wouldn’t hurt a fly. Like it or not that’s part of who I am. And the world is damn lucky that’s part of who I am. Or else they’d probably really suffer, and honestly I don’t want that. Despite how stupid or mean they can be, I still love them. I find them cute, like puppies. Or like my mousies. I’m gonna care for them, it's only right. It would go against who I am to not do so. And who I am is somebody I want to be. All I gotta do for now is work on actually becoming him. But I must admit I can’t bear much more pain. What really hurts is thinking “I’ve done it”, “my horrible pain is finally over!” Then getting immediately slapped in the face by reality. And slapped in the face really is a poor metaphor here because it hurts far more than any physical pain ever could. According to science I still am just a boy. A boy that doesn’t want to get hurt any longer. A boy that will be broken if he gets hurt like that again. Thank you for reading and I hope this message helps you. You can choose to accept or deny this message I don't give a fuck, I'm doing this to make myself feel better.
Now for fun, let’s discuss what you imagine it might feel like once your skeleton finally strikes its balance you’ve been waiting so patiently and diligently for. My hairline will be perfect. My hair will grow thick, healthily and beautifully. I will have the “aeygo sal” somewhat like chico lachowski has. Eyelashes long and dark. Beautiful downturned, catlike, medial canthus. Beautiful dark and sharp positively tilted masculine eyebrows. Slim eyes that can spot evil from a mile away. Full, but not too full lips with a curve that is upturned at the very edges yet simultaneously appears kind of like a frown, or “pout”. Cheekbones, facial structure, and skin quality of a supermodel. Dark long hair is what you want. Muscles to keep you safe but not too show off. Perfectly straight nose. Perfectly harmonious face. Every line angled correctly, frontal bone, nose matching angles when looking at the face from a ¾ angle. Athletic prowess, elegance, power, strength, and calmness. Ohhh the calmness. You’ll always feel relaxed (unless it is absolutely necessary not to be, but this could never be, or almost never). Not super dissimilar to being on cannabis. But cannabis dulls the mind to reach this state. You’ll constantly be in this state, while your mind can think quickly and efficiently. You’ll always be able to be in control of any and every social situation. Often without the other members realizing it. However it will probably also make them feel calm but they won’t know why. They’ll only know they feel good when they’re with you, even if you do technically say mean things to them, belittle them, make fun of them, reflect their evilness back to them, etc. you’ll be able to do these things whilst staying extremely well liked. They’ll be always thinking of you, thinking of what they can do for you, how they can pleasure you, how they can “make you feel better” perhaps, how they can “suck up to you”, what they can do to “be like you”. They’ll want what you have but won’t know what it is you have. They may mistake it for just your looks, but we both know it goes much deeper than that. Or does it? Maybe there’s more to looks than meets the eye. It’s no coincidence that the better you feel, the more beautiful you think you look. Beauty is power in nature. There's an unspoken natural order to all creatures and beauty is that natural order. But, we live in a very complex and strange time, today people that are born with great beauty DO get praised and pampered, but TOO much. Because there are TOO many ugly people. Our new way of life creates ugly people. It is that simple. And if they’re not visually ugly it seems there's a strong chance their ugliness is internal. OR maybe not internal but spewed out to others. I wonder if this means I’ll become like them? Of course, If I had to choose, I’d choose to spew out to them. But I’d like to not harm them of course, but is this really true? NO. It’s not. I would like to harm them. I enjoy harming them. Not because I’m evil. But because I’m human. Because I’ve never in my life been able to harm. I’m a beast stripped of its claws. A beast stripped of its claws and teeth, then poked and prodded its whole life. While also never getting to enjoy the simple pleasures that life offers. I don’t care if they did or did not know what they were doing. What matters is how it affected me. MY feelings matter even if no one is capable of understanding them. Ok fine, yes I will go around hurting people. Not physically though. And I still am fearful, but this is good. People don’t like to be hurt. If people know someone is hurting them, or trying to they bite back. It’s only natural. If I feel I’m capable of defending against this I will overtly attack, but that may not always be the case. In fact, I know it probably won’t be. As much as I wish it could be like that, I know it’ll lead me nowhere and quick. So I’ll just hurt them without them realizing it. Simple solution really. They need some lashings now and again to keep them in check. To remind them of who’s boss. Of who’s really running the show. But I’ll let them think they're powerful sometimes, because that can be a very effective way to control them. But of course I mustn’t get carried away with hurting, as fun as it seems to me right now. Because I know deep down I’ll always have that scared, hurt kid in me that wouldn’t hurt a fly. Like it or not that’s part of who I am. And the world is damn lucky that’s part of who I am. Or else they’d probably really suffer, and honestly I don’t want that. Despite how stupid or mean they can be, I still love them. I find them cute, like puppies. Or like my mousies. I’m gonna care for them, it's only right. It would go against who I am to not do so. And who I am is somebody I want to be. All I gotta do for now is work on actually becoming him. But I must admit I can’t bear much more pain. What really hurts is thinking “I’ve done it”, “my horrible pain is finally over!” Then getting immediately slapped in the face by reality. And slapped in the face really is a poor metaphor here because it hurts far more than any physical pain ever could. According to science I still am just a boy. A boy that doesn’t want to get hurt any longer. A boy that will be broken if he gets hurt like that again. Thank you for reading and I hope this message helps you. You can choose to accept or deny this message I don't give a fuck, I'm doing this to make myself feel better.
