If you had a nice family, count your blessings.

MoggerGaston

MoggerGaston

Nobody mogs like Gaston
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I was abused by my own family throughout my entire childhood.
As a child, I couldn't understand that what they were doing was so damaging to me. I was told this was 'normal' and was just supposed to accept it.

I cut off all my family at the age of 25 (4 years ago) and only once i got rid of most of my interactions with my family have I started to realize how toxic they were to my life.

I have maladapted, my personality has been shaped to perform as best as it can in an abusive family environment.

Now I am 29yo, I am no longer in the abusive family environment, but my personality is still destroyed as if it were.

It's so fucking brutal man. I got rid of my abusers, but the damage to my brain, personality, mental-health, it's already done.



If you had a nice family, count your blessings.
Maybe you aren't happy with the way you look or the way your life turned out in some other way. Everyone has their own struggle.

Trust me though: Having abusive family in your childhood DESTROYS YOU.
You simply can't protect yourself at such a young age and when the people who were supposed to protect you, your family, abuse you instead, your life becomes a traumatizing experience.
 
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True. The one thing that went well in my life was my childhood.
Didn't realise how happy I was. I will never achieve that happiness again.
 
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the lion finds a new pack when he is cast from his own
 
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I was abused by my own family throughout my entire childhood.
As a child, I couldn't understand that what they were doing was so damaging to me. I was told this was 'normal' and was just supposed to accept it.

I cut off all my family at the age of 25 (4 years ago) and only once i got rid of most of my interactions with my family have I started to realize how toxic they were to my life.

I have maladapted, my personality has been shaped to perform as best as it can in an abusive family environment.

Now I am 29yo, I am no longer in the abusive family environment, but my personality is still destroyed as if it were.

It's so fucking brutal man. I got rid of my abusers, but the damage to my brain, personality, mental-health, it's already done.



If you had a nice family, count your blessings.
Maybe you aren't happy with the way you look or the way your life turned out in some other way. Everyone has their own struggle.

Trust me though: Having abusive family in your childhood DESTROYS YOU.
You simply can't protect yourself at such a young age and when the people who were supposed to protect you, your family, abuse you instead, your life becomes a traumatizing experience.
the lion finds a new pack when he is cast from his own
niggas its over they locked it :feelswhy::feelswhy:
Posnetek zaslona 2024 09 15 155828
 
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True. The one thing that went well in my life was my childhood.
Didn't realise how happy I was. I will never achieve that happiness again.
count your blessings, your good childhood being one of them.

Maybe you don't feel like this because you think 'having a good childhood is normal'. Yes it is normal for a lot of people, which is exactly why it isn't appreciated. But for those who got unlucky, they suffer.

You don't realize what you have until you lose it.

What's the purpose of this reply to you? I don't know you personally, but just by the fact you found this forum I can conclude you must be struggling in some way.

I want you to realize that despite having these fucked up life circumstances you are facing, you also got lucky in other ways like having a good childhood.

Don't give up hope in life.
 
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just grow up theory
 
the lion finds a new pack when he is cast from his own
Legit.

I am still looking for a worthy pack IRL, until then I will be sigma-lion.
 
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count your blessings, your good childhood being one of them.

Maybe you don't feel like this because you think 'having a good childhood is normal'. Yes it is normal for a lot of people, which is exactly why it isn't appreciated. But for those who got unlucky, they suffer.

You don't realize what you have until you lose it.

What's the purpose of this reply to you? I don't know you personally, but just by the fact you found this forum I can conclude you must be struggling in some way.

I want you to realize that despite having these fucked up life circumstances you are facing, you also got lucky in other ways like having a good childhood.

Don't give up hope in life.

Yeh it wasn't even an avg childhood it was way above avg.

No abuse/financial struggles. Family holidays that were actually enjoyable. A large community of neighbours that I would play outside with.

Chad tier childhood.

I was always a bit different but kids don't care as much, they just want to play.

It was after puberty, my autism started showing, people become less forgiving when your social skills lag behind. Then my life just went downhill.
 
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just grow up theory
complete ignorance
nigga, what the fuck are you even talking about?

Do you have any clue what child-abuse does to you as a person even once you are an adult?
You think magically you become a different person in adulthood?
 
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complete ignorance
nigga, what the fuck are you even talking about?

Do you have any clue what child-abuse does to you as a person even once you are an adult?
You think magically you become a different person in adulthood?
uh, yea
 
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I was abused by my own family throughout my entire childhood.
As a child, I couldn't understand that what they were doing was so damaging to me. I was told this was 'normal' and was just supposed to accept it.

I cut off all my family at the age of 25 (4 years ago) and only once i got rid of most of my interactions with my family have I started to realize how toxic they were to my life.

I have maladapted, my personality has been shaped to perform as best as it can in an abusive family environment.

Now I am 29yo, I am no longer in the abusive family environment, but my personality is still destroyed as if it were.

It's so fucking brutal man. I got rid of my abusers, but the damage to my brain, personality, mental-health, it's already done.



If you had a nice family, count your blessings.
Maybe you aren't happy with the way you look or the way your life turned out in some other way. Everyone has their own struggle.

Trust me though: Having abusive family in your childhood DESTROYS YOU.
You simply can't protect yourself at such a young age and when the people who were supposed to protect you, your family, abuse you instead, your life becomes a traumatizing experience.
Sorry to hear that.

Idk you very well but sometimes I read your posts and you seem like an OK guy.

Hard to tell that you were abused.
 
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What did they do
 
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What is called "muhh abuse" nowadays is actually just normal parenting
 
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Yeh it wasn't even an avg childhood it was way above avg.

No abuse/financial struggles. Family holidays that were actually enjoyable. A large community of neighbours that I would play outside with.

Chad tier childhood.

I was always a bit different but kids don't care as much, they just want to play.

It was after puberty, my autism started showing, people become less forgiving when your social skills lag behind. Then my life just went downhill.
That is the average childhood in an actual functioning society.

But they are destroying it all.
 
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It was after puberty, my autism started showing, people become less forgiving when your social skills lag behind. Then my life just went downhill.
my own problems also only really started showing in puberty. But this is explainable by the fact I was obese ngl.
Therapists have tried to diagnose for autism, but every official way of testing came out negative, always. But they keep trying cuz they don't know what else they have to do with a person like me or smth.

I personally believe that highIQ (I was tested officially at 128) is confused with autism. These 2 things are entirely separate, or perhaps they aren't in their view. When you are high-IQ you start showing behavior which is comparable to high-functioning autism.
 
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That is the average childhood in an actual functioning society.

But they are destroying it all.
The socialisation yeh but at least half have parents too poor to afford anything
 
my own problems also only really started showing in puberty. But this is explainable by the fact I was obese ngl.
Therapists have tried to diagnose for autism, but every official way of testing came out negative, always. But they keep trying cuz they don't know what else they have to do with a person like me or smth.

I personally believe that highIQ (I was tested officially at 128) is confused with autism. These 2 things are entirely separate, or perhaps they aren't in their view. When you are high-IQ you start showing behavior which is comparable to high-functioning autism.
Yeh I've not done an official test but got 119 on the CAIT. It supposedly correlates well with actual tedts.

My best and only friend gets 150 on the logical perception matrix tests and breezed through a physics degree so that probably explains why we get along.
 
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What is called "muhh abuse" nowadays is actually just normal parenting
Separate issues.

I don't disagree with you that we are facing a problem where men aren't given proper support, male role-models and aren't able to thrive anymore.
Thus the average young boy is already being sent onto a wrong path in this sense.

The child-abuse I am talking about is more individual. "This person xx and yy abused me.' And this pattern doesn't hold on it's own because I am a freak-case.
 
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The socialisation yeh but at least half have parents too poor to afford anything
I was lower class and still went on vacation every year, sometimes oversees too
 
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blast cerebrolysin and mushrooms to get a new brain
 
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This shouldn’t be this way, but nowadays even growing up with both parents present gives you a head start over others. So many broken, unfunctional families among people I know.
 
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This shouldn’t be this way, but nowadays even growing up with both parents present gives you a head start over others. So many broken, unfunctional families among people I know.
I should've never been born.
My family consists of mentally ill people, shizo's, adults without any social-contact, mental diseases, lack of any money/succes, and more problems.

My dad never had any friends or hobbies as an adult. He was a depressed, low-energy guy. Complaining about everything.
My mother is an abusive narc without any qualities of her own but does her best to leech of everyone else's. Never had friends either.

I've never had any real family relations. I only knew my father, mom and brother. No other family members. (There was always some conflict which is why we can't visit xx or yy)
My grand-dad apparently raped my nephews, but this was never proven in court, (my parents being part of the group that believed he didn't) but it caused another massive divide in an already torn-up family.

JFL honestly man.

When I think of this shit, I think: Yeah it's easy to understand why I am now 29yo without any friends, relationship, family, nothing and am somehow 'fine' living this way. Like I don't even really see it as a problem since it's so normal to me to have no real social contact.

Living in one of the biggest cities in the Netherlands in a prime location yet never talking to another human-being on an average day.
What a joke.

The pain is big, knowing that I will never be a real person. 95% of my personality is coping mechanisms for abuse and loneliness.
 
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Reading this made me realize how I've been ignoring all the great things I've had and currently have in my life while focusing too much on the bad ones. Thanks mate, I hope everything gets better for you, I'll be praying.
 
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Brutal realization, I need to count my own blessings:

@the BULL

was trying to find a topic where I talked about a demonic possession on shrooms, but found this one instead.

It is indeed insane how in the Netherlands I can get every illegal substance for a cheap price.
Not just that, but there's free anonymous government laboratories which will test my drugs and tell me exactly what is in it.

I am on everything nowadays: 2cb, ketamine, mephedrone, mdma, cocaine, lsd, shrooms, ghb. These are the things that make my life worth living.

All bought cheap and tested for free.

Solution

I buy these MDMA pokemon-pills in bulk and they are less than 2 euro each. :lul: 1 pill is strong asf and will last you the entire night.
Even a fucking beer in the netherlands in a random club/bar already costs close to 4 euro. nigga what?

I buy high quality cocaine for 45euro/gram in bulk. 1 gram is enough for a really good night for one person.

They used to call cocaine the drug of the rich, but in the netherlands it has become cheaper than alcohol :lul:
 
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sorry to hear that
 
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yeah the weird thing is when just seeing or even being around someone triggers you. Like hearing their voice can make my cortisol raise or make me feel very ashamed and sad if i don't have the right drugs in my system which is why i always hated weekends and holidays. probably a big part of why I don't fuk with people is because my brain got the association any type of interaction with people = bad from the bad family + subhuman treatment irl combo. Idk if "abuse" but very gloomy, low energy environment, not much talking even unless it was something wrong i did, no "love".

i wanna bail because they're trying to cash in on their investment now and going on these rants about muh responsibility and how i have to take care of them when they're oldcel but idk if wageslaving for rent is worse
 
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yeah the weird thing is when just seeing or even being around someone triggers you. Like hearing their voice can make my cortisol raise or make me feel very ashamed and sad if i don't have the right drugs in my system which is why i always hated weekends and holidays. probably a big part of why I don't fuk with people is because my brain got the association any type of interaction with people = bad from the bad family + subhuman treatment irl combo. Idk if "abuse" but very gloomy, low energy environment, not much talking even unless it was something wrong i did, no "love".

i wanna bail because they're trying to cash in on their investment now and going on these rants about muh responsibility and how i have to take care of them when they're oldcel but idk if wageslaving for rent is worse
brutal, very relatable with the general energy/vibe.
I avoid socializing now too because same as you, my association with interacting with people has always been negative.

i would do what is best for you, probably bail and wageslave
 
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this
 
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