Vermilioncore
sad and scared
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2019
- Posts
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My cousin died a few weeks ago and it didn’t really hit me until now.
I remember when she was 10 and I was like 13 we met for the first time. She’s the daughter of one of my cousins. We talked so much that day. We basically sat there at the family party talking the entire day. We bonded so much that day.
And it was the only day I ever saw her in person. The first and last time.
Two years after that, we found each other on Facebook and started bonded and talking. She was now 12. I was like 14. We were both young, dumb and in puberty. So we both talked dirty and talked about sex and how we would have had sex with each other if we weren’t cousins.
She was a major crush of mine for years and years. I remember praying for her well-being for years from about 2008 to 2012.
She always wanted to hang out with me. She always asked when we could chill. She always asked if I could talk to her on the phone. She always wanted these things but I never did any of them.
I never hung out with her due to my fear
I never talked to her on the phone due to my fear
She begged and begged to get together and hangout but it never happened.
Then one day she and I just grew apart. She got older and became promiscuous because she knew she was beautiful. I became this stupid faggot rotter who posts here all day.
Then one day she died in a car accident and my dumbass heard the news and didn’t really care at first. I sat there listening to music and drinking beer as if it wasn’t a big deal.
But now I have gone to my old email and realized just how much we talked. Even though it was like 13 years ago.
I will forever hate myself for not chilling with her and for not talking to her on the phone.
Was this relationship a bit incestous? Maybe. But we were young and stupid. But we loved each other.
God, I hate me. But, if there is an afterlife, I hope I can see her there and we can chat. It’ll be the second time I ever see her.
I remember when she was 10 and I was like 13 we met for the first time. She’s the daughter of one of my cousins. We talked so much that day. We basically sat there at the family party talking the entire day. We bonded so much that day.
And it was the only day I ever saw her in person. The first and last time.
Two years after that, we found each other on Facebook and started bonded and talking. She was now 12. I was like 14. We were both young, dumb and in puberty. So we both talked dirty and talked about sex and how we would have had sex with each other if we weren’t cousins.
She was a major crush of mine for years and years. I remember praying for her well-being for years from about 2008 to 2012.
She always wanted to hang out with me. She always asked when we could chill. She always asked if I could talk to her on the phone. She always wanted these things but I never did any of them.
I never hung out with her due to my fear
I never talked to her on the phone due to my fear
She begged and begged to get together and hangout but it never happened.
Then one day she and I just grew apart. She got older and became promiscuous because she knew she was beautiful. I became this stupid faggot rotter who posts here all day.
Then one day she died in a car accident and my dumbass heard the news and didn’t really care at first. I sat there listening to music and drinking beer as if it wasn’t a big deal.
But now I have gone to my old email and realized just how much we talked. Even though it was like 13 years ago.
I will forever hate myself for not chilling with her and for not talking to her on the phone.
Was this relationship a bit incestous? Maybe. But we were young and stupid. But we loved each other.
God, I hate me. But, if there is an afterlife, I hope I can see her there and we can chat. It’ll be the second time I ever see her.
