I'm a fucking idiot, I never have a healthy relationship, I only have codependents. What's the problem?

[Transelvania]

I don't understand how normal relationships are built at all. I've never had any. Not a single one. Generally. Only these fucking codependent relationships, where a girl and I turn into two parasites who eat each other and call it love, I don't suffocate.

I don't give care, I don't fucking know how. I won't ask how she is, I won't cook her, I won't fucking support her, I just DEMAND her attention. Like a little cunt: "Look at me baby, tell me you love me, text me, call me"

I don't know how to be alone, I don't know how to understand boundaries, I don't know how to give only to take, and I take too much fucking, I don't know how to love only to stick, I choose only loving bitches

as soon as there is a chance for a normal relationship, I either leave or turn them into the same fucked up

Anyway, over with me