D
Deleted member 27679
Suicidal Incel
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2023
- Posts
- 35
- Reputation
- 40
Here’s my life story that was filled with physical, verbal and sexual abuse. I don’t remember most of the shit that happed because I think my mind erased it but I’ll try.
I think if my father didn’t leave when I was 2 years old none of this shit would’ve happened. My misery started when my mom married my abusive stepdad, he would always beat me at a young age instead of being civil and talk to me if I did something wrong and my mom who was supposed to love me let it happen and joined in the abuse. They never had anything good to say to me and no matter what I did I was never good enough. They never let me control anything I didn’t even have a say on how I dress or how I decide to wear my hear. Oh yeah they didn’t have time to raise me so they just hired a nanny to look after me. Hahaha imagine WTF happened, for a whole year she would physically hurt me and I wish I could detail it but I don’t remember shit (I was in kindergarten when the nanny physically abused me).
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse when I was 12 I was sexually assaulted, I don’t like to talk about it a lot but he threatened to rape me if I didn’t let him have his way with me. I will never forget the look in his eyes, I felt defenceless I felt like a slave no I was literally his sex slave and I couldn’t do shit or tell anyone because I would just go home to get beaten or screamed at. This happened at school you know the place where I was supposed to feel safe for 6-8 months he would just have his way with me and I couldn’t do shit fearing that he would hurt me.
Throughout my teenage years I couldn’t leave the house because middle aged men would try to lure me into there cars fucking imagine I already went through it why won’t they leave me the fuck alone. I literally couldn’t wait to turn 18 because I thought 18 year olds can’t get raped and people would leave me alone (that’s how young I was).
Never had any freedom growing up I remember when I was in the 9th grade everyone was going out with there friends and shit and I was never allowed to leave the fucking house. Eventually they let me go out but not always, If I wanted to go out they would say shit like ‘oh you went out 2 weeks ago’ like wtf. I couldn’t fit in school because I never stayed in the same school so I couldn’t make any long term friends. The first school I actually stayed in was from 9th grade till graduation and I hated it. I was the weird guy and people always made fun of me especially the girls.
I’m now 20 approaching 21 and never had a conversation with a girl. All my problems would be solved if I get a GF but IK that it will never fucking happen. Why can’t I find love why won’t they give me a chance what did I do to deserve this. I can move on from all of this but not finding love is eating me up on the inside.
I’m still the child that wanted his mom to be proud, Still the teen that wanted to enjoy life and fit in and now young adult who wants love.
I’m a prisoner, I have to free myself. I did my time
I think if my father didn’t leave when I was 2 years old none of this shit would’ve happened. My misery started when my mom married my abusive stepdad, he would always beat me at a young age instead of being civil and talk to me if I did something wrong and my mom who was supposed to love me let it happen and joined in the abuse. They never had anything good to say to me and no matter what I did I was never good enough. They never let me control anything I didn’t even have a say on how I dress or how I decide to wear my hear. Oh yeah they didn’t have time to raise me so they just hired a nanny to look after me. Hahaha imagine WTF happened, for a whole year she would physically hurt me and I wish I could detail it but I don’t remember shit (I was in kindergarten when the nanny physically abused me).
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse when I was 12 I was sexually assaulted, I don’t like to talk about it a lot but he threatened to rape me if I didn’t let him have his way with me. I will never forget the look in his eyes, I felt defenceless I felt like a slave no I was literally his sex slave and I couldn’t do shit or tell anyone because I would just go home to get beaten or screamed at. This happened at school you know the place where I was supposed to feel safe for 6-8 months he would just have his way with me and I couldn’t do shit fearing that he would hurt me.
Throughout my teenage years I couldn’t leave the house because middle aged men would try to lure me into there cars fucking imagine I already went through it why won’t they leave me the fuck alone. I literally couldn’t wait to turn 18 because I thought 18 year olds can’t get raped and people would leave me alone (that’s how young I was).
Never had any freedom growing up I remember when I was in the 9th grade everyone was going out with there friends and shit and I was never allowed to leave the fucking house. Eventually they let me go out but not always, If I wanted to go out they would say shit like ‘oh you went out 2 weeks ago’ like wtf. I couldn’t fit in school because I never stayed in the same school so I couldn’t make any long term friends. The first school I actually stayed in was from 9th grade till graduation and I hated it. I was the weird guy and people always made fun of me especially the girls.
I’m now 20 approaching 21 and never had a conversation with a girl. All my problems would be solved if I get a GF but IK that it will never fucking happen. Why can’t I find love why won’t they give me a chance what did I do to deserve this. I can move on from all of this but not finding love is eating me up on the inside.
I’m still the child that wanted his mom to be proud, Still the teen that wanted to enjoy life and fit in and now young adult who wants love.
I’m a prisoner, I have to free myself. I did my time
