iblamebiney7
Iron
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2024
- Posts
- 99
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- 49
if u see it just ignore that post tbh just had to said it loud or something lol. Turned 17 few months ago so im less than 10 months to be legally "adult" obviously we are all still a kids until like actually getting mature and stable income. At 15 i started posting random bp edits on tiktok (sadly like 4 accounts got banned where i had 1k+ flw on each) talking to some incels femcels on there etc. and seeing how most of these people just bedrot at 19 really made me rethink my whole life, there were a few people that actually werent just bedroted drug addicted niggas like some random "femcel" that i texted with few times or 3 other volcels that actually felt relatable. That whole shit made me actually lock in (i started softmaxxing at 13 in 2022 with that sigma james sapphire k shami bóg estetyki era). Ive noticed some bonemass growth when i first "lock in" at 14 to 15,5 but nothing crazy so when i actually locked in i really started to look somewhat acceptable (still got bullied and get called ugly tho just not as much), ive stopped obssessing about getting gf for few months too and really just focus on getting healthier (not doing even soft drugs at all and eating real food, working out), and my day was just working out, taking care of my pet (then pets), playing minecraft, studying and i actually felt less bad about my life. I turned 16 and got a gf like without even looking for anymore. I even forgot kinda about that whole incel forum and didnt even use tiktok and other social media as much, i felt like everything started to be finally working out but when i was 3 months fron turning 17 everything change because stuff keep getting more expensive and my parents keep making less money. Its really depressing seeing everyone my age around having €15k car etc while i had money only because i flipped some stuff and kept good contact with rich family members but outside of that it was rrally frustrsiting when everyone has a social life and everything they want just because they have rich parents. Like through my life ive met few people like that and theyre always the worst person you can know - addicted to drugs just because theyre bored, shittalking about their parents that gave them everything etc. Kinda ironic how i try for the whole life be a good person even when peole that did bad shit to me asked me for help i always did help, like i knew how does it feel to not have anyone around when you need anything and i literally have to pirate games,movies etc for my whole life while they can just crash their parents €80k car at 16 and have no consequences because they can easily afford that. I know that when i turn 18 my parents/my mother will just stop work completely (atleast enough for them to survive) so ill be forced to move out as soon as possible but because i live in such a destroyed by political system country i wont be able to rent an apartment without a good paying job (like atleast €6,5k a month which is impossible without being lucky or having a degree). Most people i know abt live with their parents until they find a good paying job. Its really hard to at just 17 have more financial stress than average 40year old while i cant even have a single day to do what i like. Right now the only think i do besides chores is just either sitting and staring at anything just stressing and wanting to rope or doing hours of resesrch daily about actually any way to make money like flipping trading or whatever. Its so demotivating that i see so many people have time and money to just party while i cant even play fucking resident evil requiem to not think about that for a moment because its so expensive. My life is already over and im not even 18 yet, im 186cm subhuman without any musclemass and with some fat, barely finishing school, Even if i do find good job at 18 without degree and experience ill be working 12 hours a day without being able to actually get a degree. Ive thinked about every possible option so many times and there just isnt anything that will let me have a average life. The only option would be moving to rich (or atleast developed) asian country where white person is welcomed but completely moving to a different country is too expensive. I dont have any motivation anymore but im too stupid to rope and still think that maybe ill be lucky enough to get a chance at life. With every hour im closer to the day everything will be just over. Im so fucking scated of graduating high school, when i was like 13 i was looking forward to being able to open my own business when i be legally able to, ive had so many ideas and know even tho now i have my beloved dog and gf id do anything to just spend a day in like 2020 or 2021 when i just played games and was still liked by my family. Getting stuff at christmas at the age of 11 just felt so good. When i look at my younger cousin im always so jealous of being liked and getting stuff from people. The worst part is that if i eventually rope idk what will happen to my pets. Kinda curious if anyone who will stumble on that post will actually read all that shit written in goyim english.
