Im embarrassed over my existence (porn)

[ThatGuythattype]

I'm a hard-core porn addict, that watch hours of porn every day. I have literally wasted all my life on it, and my youth is soon gone, but I still revert to porn. I am literally castration my self by willingly being a cuckold.
I'm a disgrace

My mentality of being a cuckold has sucked the will away from my life. Secretly I am not happy by the porn, but I keep it as a form of self-tourture. I get angry at society for denying my right to sex, but on the same time I am the one doing it willingly
I have literally fried my brain with it, that I am unable to even finish an education despite being high enough iq, but I just lack something basic to want to attend it
I do it as a form of self sadism, watching bbc have sex with with women, knowing I'm suffering while they enjoy it. No wonder western civilization will soon collapse

 

[cbx47]

I was the same and couldn't change even if I tried.
Until I had the chance to had sex and my dick didn't get hard.
That horrible experience was enough to never watch porn ever in my life since then

 

[ThatGuythattype]

I was the same and couldn't change even if I tried.
Until I had the chance to had sex and my dick didn't get hard.
That horrible experience was enough to never watch porn ever in my life since then

I stopped drinking alcohol, I might give myself this last chance of turning into a functional human and stop the porn once and for all. I should stop killing myself slowly. I need to respect myself. But fuck it, its so hard to cope when I know a bbc is having sex with white women in a porn movie, it's killing me, But NO, I need to ignore it. NO MORE PORN

 

[Deleted member 21345]

Literally me tbh

 

[ThatGuythattype]

I think I could have some deep rooted trauma from being a young pubescent boy that just got a sex drive, and being too unattractive (getting rejected by a girl at 13) and then seeing these adult men have sex (especially in porn) that gave me a shock, permanent ptsd, that left me with a permanent feeling of undesirability that still affect me today despite being an attractive adult person, but somehow I am still this 13-15 years old guy that felt sexually rejected / sexually inferior thar still hount me today.
Also my dad trying to mog me, especially with his young filipino chick that seriously screwed with my psyche

 

[Deleted member 30107]

a "friend" now i consider an enemy introduced me to porn when i was in 4-5th grade and i forever hate him

 

[ThatGuythattype]

a "friend" now i consider an enemy introduced me to porn when i was in 4-5th grade and i forever hate him

It's brutal for such a young person to see, especially when we ourself are so undeveloped. It's literally some hard-core cucking/making you (did with me) feel sexually inferior
And with me, this feeling have stretched all until now. I even consciously reject beautiful girls/women because of this feeling of deep rooted sexual inferiority

 

[Bui]

started watching porn at 10 and as the years progressed i succumbed to even more damaging videos and soon I developed ED from it.

 

[Deleted member 32734]

started watching porn at 10 and as the years progressed i succumbed to even more damaging videos and soon I developed ED from it.

How's it now?

 

[Deleted member 32734]

I'm a hard-core porn addict, that watch hours of porn every day. I have literally wasted all my life on it, and my youth is soon gone, but I still revert to porn. I am literally castration my self by willingly being a cuckold.
I'm a disgrace

My mentality of being a cuckold has sucked the will away from my life. Secretly I am not happy by the porn, but I keep it as a form of self-tourture. I get angry at society for denying my right to sex, but on the same time I am the one doing it willingly
I have literally fried my brain with it, that I am unable to even finish an education despite being high enough iq, but I just lack something basic to want to attend it
I do it as a form of self sadism, watching bbc have sex with with women, knowing I'm suffering while they enjoy it. No wonder western civilization will soon collapse

I know it feels good jacking off temporarily but it's much better just putting in effort to get laid urself. It actually doesn't feel that way at first becoz u can get off so easily to porn and then u realize u are just wasting time fapping to other dudes while slowly desensitizing urself. Don't overthink about having this "cuckold" feeling. Just do everything necessary to lay off porn

 

[Bui]

How's it now?

I still suffer from it. Ed plus PE issues. This is why I developed an avoidant disorder with women at such a young age.

 

[Deleted member 32734]

I still suffer from it. Ed plus PE issues. This is why I developed an avoidant disorder with women at such a young age.

Can't u reverse it ? U ever tried seeing the doctor?

 

[Deleted member 25705]

I'm a hard-core porn addict, that watch hours of porn every day. I have literally wasted all my life on it, and my youth is soon gone, but I still revert to porn. I am literally castration my self by willingly being a cuckold.
I'm a disgrace

My mentality of being a cuckold has sucked the will away from my life. Secretly I am not happy by the porn, but I keep it as a form of self-tourture. I get angry at society for denying my right to sex, but on the same time I am the one doing it willingly
I have literally fried my brain with it, that I am unable to even finish an education despite being high enough iq, but I just lack something basic to want to attend it
I do it as a form of self sadism, watching bbc have sex with with women, knowing I'm suffering while they enjoy it. No wonder western civilization will soon collapse

Ah there it is.