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Deleted member 1901
Fuchsia
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2022
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- 12,131
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I can’t tell what’s real and what’s fiction. I feel a certain way that is hard to describe, it’s kind of like I am hated. Everyone around me feels so unfamiliar. They don’t seem real. Every time my mom starts talking to me I am frightened, for I fear she will say something against me. Her behavior seems erratic and sometimes I forget she is my mom but see an unfamiliar woman instead. Today, my brother did not notice me as a walked past him. I uttered to him but he did not respond. I later overheard him asking my mom if I was here, confirming that he, bizarrely, did not even notice my presence. I told him I was here, and he finally acknowledged me. I asked him why he did not notice me, but I can’t remember what he said. Right now, I am in my room shuddering as I think about this strange world where my perception is spontaneously altered. I don’t understand what is happening or why I feel this way. I feel scared and uncertain of reality and I have no one to reassure me. I feel tense, like an animal in a bush concealing itself from predators. I feel dysphoria when I think self-consciously; I don’t know whether to hate myself or embrace myself or who I am.
