6ft4
Juggernaut Genes Possessor
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2019
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I do not expect anyone to read this thread but I recently had a realization of how pointless continuing to post on PSL after 7 years really is
All appetite I had to socialize is effectively dead now because I realized that bar approaching is just as ineffective as online
I was coping that just online had gotten harder since the scamdemic but I discovered irl is no longer worth trying either (it never was except in one favorable venue/circumstance I had)
I always had it in the back of my mind that I'd get a high quality drug source and go to legit events and parties "post ascension" but I have basically burned out any fantasy I had for that left in my head.
I went to a stadium hard dance music event last month which I had been waiting to do for years and it felt meh
I dropped 2 pills last week and spent most of the night in bed trying to embrace some euphoric feeling but I barely felt shit
I've probably used some kind of substance close to 100 times and had about 3 memory worthy experiences which were mostly due to setting
Every time I've taken a break from alcohol it has been with the intention that I would take it up again once I wanted to get into a situation where I'd interact with girls.
I have now made the decision that there is absolutely no scenario where drinking alcohol would be a net benefit
Any amount of alcohol is enough to trigger me to buy a bottle of vodka and trigger my BPD
Alcohol probably doesn't even make me more NT it just makes me take more chances and forget my failures while I remember the occasional time I end up getting with a girl because my brain is doing more work to process it.
Even if I managed to arrange a date now I'd be pretty sure it's destined to fail if I had alcohol so I may as well just save myself the mental suffering of triggering my BPD and just go on a date sober and not care about how much of a failure it is.
Even though it recently hit me just how much of a cringe fool I was obsessing over slays and coping with retarded behavior on nights out because I could post a story to PSL about it, I feel liberated because for the first time I feel that there is truly nothing to gain for trying in a social setting anymore
I used to get fear of missing out, thinking I needed to ascend by a certain date so that I could get to live social experiences to the fullest, but now I realize none of it fucking matters.
I've never had a girl I've met sober be the slightest bit interested in me
Putting your body and mind through such self destructive practices in an attempt to impress drunk women that aren't actually into you and would never speak to you if the met you sober is a stupid thing to do.
The slays you get by chance while being drunk and meeting a drunk girl will never hit the spot because all you're doing is trying to trick your brain that your a high status leader of the tribe that has girls come to him (the only true way "slaying" happens)
There is no way you can slay consistently enough as an average looks nobody to keep your brain in this deceived state
Once the slays run out you're not really any better off than before because to get another girl you're literally starting from scratch again which gets more difficult to do with each passing year
I matched with an 18 year old on tinder who held enough of a convo to get her snapchat, then when I started talking on snapchat the next day every response was one word but I tolerated it then she left my last message on open. She is studying psychology and has some cringe reference on tinder about those who study it being crazy themselves. I looked up her tiktok after and she had cringe tiktok dances up.
This is what we are being faced with for the next batch of girls. Every girl will treat sub E-Status guys like shit because they see you as valueless, even worse so than the past generation.
I did have a sense of urgency around finding an LTR because I thought I wouldn't be able to admit my true age once the gap became something like me being 28 (currently 26) and them being 18 but now all urgency is completely gone. The urgency is gone because the next gen of teenage (aka marriagable aged) girls are more disturbed than the last.
You may have been able to get a girl to warm to you over snapchat as an average guy in the past but now you're not getting more than one word responses until they ghost because they see average men as void of any humanity.
Tiktok is promoting the idea to them that an average man's only purpose is to donate money.
I thought I was going try to slay a chubby girl but all appetite for that has ceased after I broke semen retention
It is just a few weeks away from the 10 year point of having my first drink and I have lived 10n years of meaningless shit, I haven't built anything to progress on in the meantime
Even if tomorrow I was presented with everything I desired just a couple of years ago I would not be able to enjoy it because of how numb my brain is
All appetite I had to socialize is effectively dead now because I realized that bar approaching is just as ineffective as online
I was coping that just online had gotten harder since the scamdemic but I discovered irl is no longer worth trying either (it never was except in one favorable venue/circumstance I had)
I always had it in the back of my mind that I'd get a high quality drug source and go to legit events and parties "post ascension" but I have basically burned out any fantasy I had for that left in my head.
I went to a stadium hard dance music event last month which I had been waiting to do for years and it felt meh
I dropped 2 pills last week and spent most of the night in bed trying to embrace some euphoric feeling but I barely felt shit
I've probably used some kind of substance close to 100 times and had about 3 memory worthy experiences which were mostly due to setting
Every time I've taken a break from alcohol it has been with the intention that I would take it up again once I wanted to get into a situation where I'd interact with girls.
I have now made the decision that there is absolutely no scenario where drinking alcohol would be a net benefit
Any amount of alcohol is enough to trigger me to buy a bottle of vodka and trigger my BPD
Alcohol probably doesn't even make me more NT it just makes me take more chances and forget my failures while I remember the occasional time I end up getting with a girl because my brain is doing more work to process it.
Even if I managed to arrange a date now I'd be pretty sure it's destined to fail if I had alcohol so I may as well just save myself the mental suffering of triggering my BPD and just go on a date sober and not care about how much of a failure it is.
Even though it recently hit me just how much of a cringe fool I was obsessing over slays and coping with retarded behavior on nights out because I could post a story to PSL about it, I feel liberated because for the first time I feel that there is truly nothing to gain for trying in a social setting anymore
I used to get fear of missing out, thinking I needed to ascend by a certain date so that I could get to live social experiences to the fullest, but now I realize none of it fucking matters.
I've never had a girl I've met sober be the slightest bit interested in me
Putting your body and mind through such self destructive practices in an attempt to impress drunk women that aren't actually into you and would never speak to you if the met you sober is a stupid thing to do.
The slays you get by chance while being drunk and meeting a drunk girl will never hit the spot because all you're doing is trying to trick your brain that your a high status leader of the tribe that has girls come to him (the only true way "slaying" happens)
There is no way you can slay consistently enough as an average looks nobody to keep your brain in this deceived state
Once the slays run out you're not really any better off than before because to get another girl you're literally starting from scratch again which gets more difficult to do with each passing year
I matched with an 18 year old on tinder who held enough of a convo to get her snapchat, then when I started talking on snapchat the next day every response was one word but I tolerated it then she left my last message on open. She is studying psychology and has some cringe reference on tinder about those who study it being crazy themselves. I looked up her tiktok after and she had cringe tiktok dances up.
This is what we are being faced with for the next batch of girls. Every girl will treat sub E-Status guys like shit because they see you as valueless, even worse so than the past generation.
I did have a sense of urgency around finding an LTR because I thought I wouldn't be able to admit my true age once the gap became something like me being 28 (currently 26) and them being 18 but now all urgency is completely gone. The urgency is gone because the next gen of teenage (aka marriagable aged) girls are more disturbed than the last.
You may have been able to get a girl to warm to you over snapchat as an average guy in the past but now you're not getting more than one word responses until they ghost because they see average men as void of any humanity.
Tiktok is promoting the idea to them that an average man's only purpose is to donate money.
I thought I was going try to slay a chubby girl but all appetite for that has ceased after I broke semen retention
It is just a few weeks away from the 10 year point of having my first drink and I have lived 10n years of meaningless shit, I haven't built anything to progress on in the meantime
Even if tomorrow I was presented with everything I desired just a couple of years ago I would not be able to enjoy it because of how numb my brain is
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