
hax
esoteric prob
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2025
- Posts
- 7,288
- Reputation
- 14,263
i only fall for a very specific kind of person the kind that barely seems real.
people like that just don’t exist where i live and only exist online.
and if they are real, they’re either unreachable or out of sync with me completely.
so my chances of finding someone i actually love are worse than dating as a 5'4 ltn in this day and age.
it isn't even about looks. i just find everyone extremely basic and repellant.
it's because i get attracted by style more than looks alone.
sometimes i wish my inceldom came from being ugly,
at least then it would make sense, i could thirst over anyone, even if these fantasies were hypergamous.
even now i could be in multiple relationships (looksmatched, better looking than me, worse looking than me).
i just never feel any attraction towards these people, towards anyone irl actually.
the people who make me feel things are impossible to find,
and even if they weren’t, they probably wouldn’t notice me anyway.
this is what kills me.
when i finally meet someone who feels right, will they even look my way?
this is why i’m so obsessed over my looks;
because i can’t stand the thought of being invisible to the few people who could ever matter to me.
i wish i could love anyone.
it’d make everything easier.
but i can’t.
it sadly isn't a choice, this is how i am built.
people like that just don’t exist where i live and only exist online.
and if they are real, they’re either unreachable or out of sync with me completely.
so my chances of finding someone i actually love are worse than dating as a 5'4 ltn in this day and age.
it isn't even about looks. i just find everyone extremely basic and repellant.
it's because i get attracted by style more than looks alone.
sometimes i wish my inceldom came from being ugly,
at least then it would make sense, i could thirst over anyone, even if these fantasies were hypergamous.
even now i could be in multiple relationships (looksmatched, better looking than me, worse looking than me).
i just never feel any attraction towards these people, towards anyone irl actually.
the people who make me feel things are impossible to find,
and even if they weren’t, they probably wouldn’t notice me anyway.
this is what kills me.
when i finally meet someone who feels right, will they even look my way?
this is why i’m so obsessed over my looks;
because i can’t stand the thought of being invisible to the few people who could ever matter to me.
i wish i could love anyone.
it’d make everything easier.
but i can’t.
it sadly isn't a choice, this is how i am built.