D
Deleted
Lurker
I'm really bi but my only options for dating are men since women think i'm too hideous for anything more than platonic friendship. I spent my life up until i was 22 as a virgin until I finally just said fuck it and started fucking guys. I've pretty much rewired my brain to ignore women and only go after guys since they're the only ones that seem to be enthusiastic about the idea of being with me. I used to torture myself by asking out girls, going on dates that lead nowhere but now I don't even consider it because i know its futile. I get depressed and almost angry every time I hear about a guy with a gf or hear about a girl dating someone. I can't even look at straight porn anymore because its just a reminder that no girls will ever want to do that with me. I don't really even like guys that much but its better than being completely alone and sexless for the rest of my life. One way i try to cope is by telling myself that fucking guys is actually empowering for me. So many buff and handsome white guys want to submit to an ugly black guy like me, so that makes me feel manly in a way. But it still makes me depressed that my only option is men but i'm slightly less depressed than I was when i was a virgin so i guess its worth it
