Im not fundamentally unfit for connection, im lonely.

[Methylphenidate]

I think I've spent my entire life connecting with people without any barriers, I see them laugh, click, and fold into each other's lives like it's the most natural thing in the world, and I stand right in the middle of it, always included. I'm autistic, and I'm exactly the kind that makes people feel at ease, the kind that draws people in without them knowing why, the kind that gets responded to eagerly, the kind that makes rooms feel warmer just by existing in them. There's something about me that people are instinctively drawn to, I've never been able to fully understand it, but I know it's there every time I try to connect with someone, it ends with them pulling closer, sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once. I've learned to expect it, and it's always exciting, a thrill that keeps getting more exhilarating each time, like carrying a bouquet of flowers that keeps growing. Even online, where everyone says it's harder, I belong, I can be myself without trying, and people respond positively, they love my intensity, my passion, my realism that sounds like optimism, the way I talk about connection like it's inevitable, something permanent, and people want to hear it, they really want to hear it. Even in places that claim to be exclusive, you still feel welcome, I do, I've always fit in, I've been surrounded by people for so long it feels like a permanent state, it feels like part of me, like it's stitched into the way I speak, the way I look at people, the way I open up without fear of distance. I know what it feels like to be truly understood, I know what it's like to have someone want me around without trying to change or manage or tolerate me, I've only ever been the joy, the spark, the vibrant background character people are sad to see go. And it's not just that I have friends, it's that I know exactly how to be someone people can love. I've mastered how others do it, I've watched them weave inside jokes, light touches, shared silence that feels warm instead of strained, and I've nailed the rhythm of it, it always feels natural, it always feels like I'm improvising with friends. They say connection is about being authentic, and my authenticity draws people in, it's just right, just sharp enough, just happy enough, just something I can turn up. So I don't dilute it, I amplify it, I try to make myself more visible, more convenient, more lovable, and it works, it feels like being myself, and even then, they still stay. Sometimes I know there's a version of me that's loved just the way I am, and that version is me, and I've spent so long being this that I'm grateful for who I am. I don't want to change, I just want to feel like I belong every time I'm around others, I want to be seen and not looked away from, I want the silence around me to mean presence instead of absence. But most of all, I just want to feel connected all the time.

 

[Hurricane1]

 

[ToryToad]

View attachment 3709249

 

[2025cel]

 

[warmth]

View attachment 3709249

my favorite natty vegan

 

[ToryToad]

I think I've spent my entire life connecting with people without any barriers, I see them laugh, click, and fold into each other's lives like it's the most natural thing in the world, and I stand right in the middle of it, always included. I'm autistic, and I'm exactly the kind that makes people feel at ease, the kind that draws people in without them knowing why, the kind that gets responded to eagerly, the kind that makes rooms feel warmer just by existing in them. There's something about me that people are instinctively drawn to, I've never been able to fully understand it, but I know it's there every time I try to connect with someone, it ends with them pulling closer, sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once. I've learned to expect it, and it's always exciting, a thrill that keeps getting more exhilarating each time, like carrying a bouquet of flowers that keeps growing. Even online, where everyone says it's harder, I belong, I can be myself without trying, and people respond positively, they love my intensity, my passion, my realism that sounds like optimism, the way I talk about connection like it's inevitable, something permanent, and people want to hear it, they really want to hear it. Even in places that claim to be exclusive, you still feel welcome, I do, I've always fit in, I've been surrounded by people for so long it feels like a permanent state, it feels like part of me, like it's stitched into the way I speak, the way I look at people, the way I open up without fear of distance. I know what it feels like to be truly understood, I know what it's like to have someone want me around without trying to change or manage or tolerate me, I've only ever been the joy, the spark, the vibrant background character people are sad to see go. And it's not just that I have friends, it's that I know exactly how to be someone people can love. I've mastered how others do it, I've watched them weave inside jokes, light touches, shared silence that feels warm instead of strained, and I've nailed the rhythm of it, it always feels natural, it always feels like I'm improvising with friends. They say connection is about being authentic, and my authenticity draws people in, it's just right, just sharp enough, just happy enough, just something I can turn up. So I don't dilute it, I amplify it, I try to make myself more visible, more convenient, more lovable, and it works, it feels like being myself, and even then, they still stay. Sometimes I know there's a version of me that's loved just the way I am, and that version is me, and I've spent so long being this that I'm grateful for who I am. I don't want to change, I just want to feel like I belong every time I'm around others, I want to be seen and not looked away from, I want the silence around me to mean presence instead of absence. But most of all, I just want to feel connected all the time.

brutal

 

[Methylphenidate]

brutal

I wish I was @Orc. Alhamdulillah.

 

[veggiedietcell]

I think I've spent my entire life connecting with people without any barriers, I see them laugh, click, and fold into each other's lives like it's the most natural thing in the world, and I stand right in the middle of it, always included. I'm autistic, and I'm exactly the kind that makes people feel at ease, the kind that draws people in without them knowing why, the kind that gets responded to eagerly, the kind that makes rooms feel warmer just by existing in them. There's something about me that people are instinctively drawn to, I've never been able to fully understand it, but I know it's there every time I try to connect with someone, it ends with them pulling closer, sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once. I've learned to expect it, and it's always exciting, a thrill that keeps getting more exhilarating each time, like carrying a bouquet of flowers that keeps growing. Even online, where everyone says it's harder, I belong, I can be myself without trying, and people respond positively, they love my intensity, my passion, my realism that sounds like optimism, the way I talk about connection like it's inevitable, something permanent, and people want to hear it, they really want to hear it. Even in places that claim to be exclusive, you still feel welcome, I do, I've always fit in, I've been surrounded by people for so long it feels like a permanent state, it feels like part of me, like it's stitched into the way I speak, the way I look at people, the way I open up without fear of distance. I know what it feels like to be truly understood, I know what it's like to have someone want me around without trying to change or manage or tolerate me, I've only ever been the joy, the spark, the vibrant background character people are sad to see go. And it's not just that I have friends, it's that I know exactly how to be someone people can love. I've mastered how others do it, I've watched them weave inside jokes, light touches, shared silence that feels warm instead of strained, and I've nailed the rhythm of it, it always feels natural, it always feels like I'm improvising with friends. They say connection is about being authentic, and my authenticity draws people in, it's just right, just sharp enough, just happy enough, just something I can turn up. So I don't dilute it, I amplify it, I try to make myself more visible, more convenient, more lovable, and it works, it feels like being myself, and even then, they still stay. Sometimes I know there's a version of me that's loved just the way I am, and that version is me, and I've spent so long being this that I'm grateful for who I am. I don't want to change, I just want to feel like I belong every time I'm around others, I want to be seen and not looked away from, I want the silence around me to mean presence instead of absence. But most of all, I just want to feel connected all the time.

Try harder, once u find a girl that u truly love and u are being loved unconditionally by her, u have won, best of luck my nigga