soapbubble
Banned
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- Jan 13, 2026
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Not going to respond or engage with this thread or any replies after posting at all, just want to vent somewhere even if I expect it to get DNRed by everyone.
I'm a boring loser in the sense that I'm just irrelevant. A literal background character that exists for the sole purpose of getting fucked over and mogged. There aren't any moments of joy or happiness I've found with any friends or girls where I actually matter, I'm a literal placeholder where anyone could take my place and there wouldn't be any difference whatsoever. There isn't a single time in my life when I've actually been irreplaceable or relevant to anyone, because outside of my immediate family all of my close relationships with other people have just been because of my manufactured, generic, boring, unengaging personality. It's not even like I haven't tried or anything, the last time I had a genuinely enjoyable, unfilitered conversation with someone IRL was back in elementary school, around 4th grade before COVID hit. After that, it's all just been performance because I'm incapable of having a natural conversation with a normie. All of my interests since I was 10 years old have just been weird loser shit that even I find embarassing to have any interest in. I can't even get into normie hobbies. I'm either complete shit at them, mediocre, or uninterested. It's pathetic. I'm completely and utterly alone IRL.
I can't even talk to my parents about anything because they're insistent on sending me to therapy, searching my room, or randomly confiscating my things whenever they think there's something wrong with me. It's not even malicious, so I can't even blame them. But I can't even have regular conversations about my feelings with them either, because they end up using it as justification to do something about me. Earlier this week, my parents randomly came into my room, took away my computer, and forced screen time restrictions on my devices. My conversations with my little brother, who is probably autistic or has some sort of ADHD is restricted to me talking to him like I'd talk to any other random kid. If you've ever seen Dexter, it's like that. Just generic conversations meant for the sole purpose of being entertaining for the other party.
It's catastrophically over. I'm not GL enough to form what can even be seen as a close or genuine bond by me or anyone else, because again, my entire personality is manufactured. I'm not even good at it, which is the worst part. For all that performance, I'm still bottom-tier at my school socially and barely talk to anyone other than a few friends, who are just with me by coincidence and the need to latch onto literally anyone nearby. I've embarassed myself so much in front of so many people despite all my efforts. I'm virtually worthless.
I was mocked for my looks by a girl back in 1st grade, which ruined my ability to socialize normally and reduced my elementary school experience to just saying random, weird shit in front of everyone for attention and hoping they laughed. Barely talked to anyone in middle school, and then the one friend I actually did make told me in private I was objectively unattractive and that the other "friend" I had was calling me ugly af behind my back.
kek. (In hindsight, it was probably because of my shitty bowl cut which I never bothered to style, my overbite which shortened my chin by a lot and made me recessed that made me a target for mockery specifically.) It was even worse because during that time in middle school (around 2023), I was aware of what looksmaxxing was because of some videos online but coped by thinking it was pathetic and for incels, which is what I was told by people around me. Even so, I remember being self-aware and knowing I was ugly and hating it. I literally used to go to sleep wishing I could reincarnate and start over or stop existing altogether JFL. Despite female hypergamy or genetic determinism or whatever I do genuinely want a relationship where I can be honest and find someone who likes me as the unique first choice, which will literally never happen because I'm an insecure faggot with literally nothing to draw anyone in. No looks, no social skills, no hobbies or interests. Just stand around awkwardly like some autistic NPC. Can't even romanticize being lonely because I'm just miserable and unwanted by everyone. I'm not ugly enough to be an incel and I won't pretend I am but being mediocre in looks at best doesn't compensate for being literally nothing in everything else. There are a lot of other things that have contributed to this (e.g. was lonely enough to develop a parasocial relationship at one point ) that have contributed to this but it's honestly just embarassing enough I don't even want to talk about it here.
fuck man idk how much longer I can take this shit maybe in the next life I'll reincarnate into someone better. Not to sound like a whiny bitch but life is really unfair. I can't put it into words how much hatred I'm feeling right now.
Not going to respond or engage with this thread or any replies after posting at all, just want to vent somewhere even if I expect it to get DNRed by everyone.
I'm a boring loser in the sense that I'm just irrelevant. A literal background character that exists for the sole purpose of getting fucked over and mogged. There aren't any moments of joy or happiness I've found with any friends or girls where I actually matter, I'm a literal placeholder where anyone could take my place and there wouldn't be any difference whatsoever. There isn't a single time in my life when I've actually been irreplaceable or relevant to anyone, because outside of my immediate family all of my close relationships with other people have just been because of my manufactured, generic, boring, unengaging personality. It's not even like I haven't tried or anything, the last time I had a genuinely enjoyable, unfilitered conversation with someone IRL was back in elementary school, around 4th grade before COVID hit. After that, it's all just been performance because I'm incapable of having a natural conversation with a normie. All of my interests since I was 10 years old have just been weird loser shit that even I find embarassing to have any interest in. I can't even get into normie hobbies. I'm either complete shit at them, mediocre, or uninterested. It's pathetic. I'm completely and utterly alone IRL.
I can't even talk to my parents about anything because they're insistent on sending me to therapy, searching my room, or randomly confiscating my things whenever they think there's something wrong with me. It's not even malicious, so I can't even blame them. But I can't even have regular conversations about my feelings with them either, because they end up using it as justification to do something about me. Earlier this week, my parents randomly came into my room, took away my computer, and forced screen time restrictions on my devices. My conversations with my little brother, who is probably autistic or has some sort of ADHD is restricted to me talking to him like I'd talk to any other random kid. If you've ever seen Dexter, it's like that. Just generic conversations meant for the sole purpose of being entertaining for the other party.
It's catastrophically over. I'm not GL enough to form what can even be seen as a close or genuine bond by me or anyone else, because again, my entire personality is manufactured. I'm not even good at it, which is the worst part. For all that performance, I'm still bottom-tier at my school socially and barely talk to anyone other than a few friends, who are just with me by coincidence and the need to latch onto literally anyone nearby. I've embarassed myself so much in front of so many people despite all my efforts. I'm virtually worthless.
I was mocked for my looks by a girl back in 1st grade, which ruined my ability to socialize normally and reduced my elementary school experience to just saying random, weird shit in front of everyone for attention and hoping they laughed. Barely talked to anyone in middle school, and then the one friend I actually did make told me in private I was objectively unattractive and that the other "friend" I had was calling me ugly af behind my back.
kek. (In hindsight, it was probably because of my shitty bowl cut which I never bothered to style, my overbite which shortened my chin by a lot and made me recessed that made me a target for mockery specifically.) It was even worse because during that time in middle school (around 2023), I was aware of what looksmaxxing was because of some videos online but coped by thinking it was pathetic and for incels, which is what I was told by people around me. Even so, I remember being self-aware and knowing I was ugly and hating it. I literally used to go to sleep wishing I could reincarnate and start over or stop existing altogether JFL. Despite female hypergamy or genetic determinism or whatever I do genuinely want a relationship where I can be honest and find someone who likes me as the unique first choice, which will literally never happen because I'm an insecure faggot with literally nothing to draw anyone in. No looks, no social skills, no hobbies or interests. Just stand around awkwardly like some autistic NPC. Can't even romanticize being lonely because I'm just miserable and unwanted by everyone. I'm not ugly enough to be an incel and I won't pretend I am but being mediocre in looks at best doesn't compensate for being literally nothing in everything else. There are a lot of other things that have contributed to this (e.g. was lonely enough to develop a parasocial relationship at one point ) that have contributed to this but it's honestly just embarassing enough I don't even want to talk about it here.fuck man idk how much longer I can take this shit
maybe in the next life I'll reincarnate into someone better. Not to sound like a whiny bitch but life is really unfair. I can't put it into words how much hatred I'm feeling right now.Not going to respond or engage with this thread or any replies after posting at all, just want to vent somewhere even if I expect it to get DNRed by everyone.
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