depressionmaxxing
Last year or first year
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2023
- Posts
- 8,345
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my face looks like a foot thats been stepped on and now is disoriented and aged like shit. I seriously cannot find a way to live life like this, the idea of killing myself has overthrown my brain.
Using the front camera remembers me who i am again after my brain convinces me im normal, while ive been staring in the selfie camera. mirrows are brutal too i avoid looking at them because my body looks so subhuman and i see my true face.
Even tho i am doing trimax and rhino and gym, i will still never ascend to looking like a normal human being or above as my base and everything else tells me to go fuck myself and rot in hell. I am so unlovable and disgusting. This never leaves my thoughts even when i talk with people or study or do literally anything it is my only thought and nothing else matters. So many things happen in my life that make no sense to me i feel like im in a constant state of dreaming but im paralyzed and i can only watch, i want to scream but i have no mouth i want to run but my legs are broken i am trapped and starring at death as it gets closer to me.
Even if i somehow ascend i‘ll never recover mentally from all this isolation and mental abuse. And people will just say muh you had surgery and then not accept me and still think as negative as before of me
(I understand if nobody reads this, there is no place where i can say my thoughts so i just speak them here)
Using the front camera remembers me who i am again after my brain convinces me im normal, while ive been staring in the selfie camera. mirrows are brutal too i avoid looking at them because my body looks so subhuman and i see my true face.
Even tho i am doing trimax and rhino and gym, i will still never ascend to looking like a normal human being or above as my base and everything else tells me to go fuck myself and rot in hell. I am so unlovable and disgusting. This never leaves my thoughts even when i talk with people or study or do literally anything it is my only thought and nothing else matters. So many things happen in my life that make no sense to me i feel like im in a constant state of dreaming but im paralyzed and i can only watch, i want to scream but i have no mouth i want to run but my legs are broken i am trapped and starring at death as it gets closer to me.
Even if i somehow ascend i‘ll never recover mentally from all this isolation and mental abuse. And people will just say muh you had surgery and then not accept me and still think as negative as before of me
(I understand if nobody reads this, there is no place where i can say my thoughts so i just speak them here)