I'm running out of time

[Deleted member 226831]

I work like a fucking dog in the hot australian sun all day just so I can slowly reach my goal of $250kaud (highball) to get the surgeries I need. Septo (covered by medicare) bimax or trimax (depending on whats better for short face syndrome) rhinoplasty, possible infraorbital implants, and lastly, limb lengthening. I dropped out of school and I earn $120 a day as an apprentice at 17 years old. When I'm 18 I'll join the police force.

My parents think I'm stacking all this cash up for a house and want to kick me out at 18 but I really can't let that happen I'll do anything, I'll just threaten my life at knifepoint if they do try that. I only have $7k saved up, I might need a second job..


Is a second job worth the stress and cortisol?


I just want to feel what teenage love and friendships feel like before my time runs out and everyone settles down. I know by the time I'll be healed from all these surgeries I'll be like in my mid 20s. This really sucks. My childhood and early teenage years all gone to waste from bullying and trying to fit in with people who never even liked me and now my late teens I'll be working like this everyday with my mental health rapidly deteriorating. I've been fantasizing about these surgeries for a long time, thinking that everyone will finally treat me better and take me seriously, yk? It's the only thing keeping me grounded really. If it wasn't for those I would have (not trying to get into detail) killed a huge amount of people, then myself.


I really hate how people especially women look down upon me as if I'm like one of those pakistani nerds who play bring their laptops and mice to play minecraft all break time, but no, they don't know what I'm capable of. I was just trying to walk out in nature today and speak to my camera and this girl heard me say something about "6 feet plus" she immediently turned her head, what a whore! There was a group she was with so it's not like I could've pinned her down and tased her over and over again until she vomited. It's not like I could've forced a large stone down that stupid little sluts throat, no matter how much I wanted to!

I'm sorry if I got carried away here. I just feel so defeated, and I have to go for another long day of work I literally cannot afford missing any days of it because I truly do hate living like this.

 

[Nebelix28]

Dnr1

 

[Deleted member 226831]

Dnr1

yea noones laughing mate it's the same joke over and over. you're lucky I can't reach over the screen and stab you in the fucking eye

 

[crazyguy]

I work like a fucking dog in the hot australian sun all day just so I can slowly reach my goal of $250kaud (highball) to get the surgeries I need. Septo (covered by medicare) bimax or trimax (depending on whats better for short face syndrome) rhinoplasty, possible infraorbital implants, and lastly, limb lengthening. I dropped out of school and I earn $120 a day as an apprentice at 17 years old. When I'm 18 I'll join the police force.

My parents think I'm stacking all this cash up for a house and want to kick me out at 18 but I really can't let that happen I'll do anything, I'll just threaten my life at knifepoint if they do try that. I only have $7k saved up, I might need a second job..


Is a second job worth the stress and cortisol?


I just want to feel what teenage love and friendships feel like before my time runs out and everyone settles down. I know by the time I'll be healed from all these surgeries I'll be like in my mid 20s. This really sucks. My childhood and early teenage years all gone to waste from bullying and trying to fit in with people who never even liked me and now my late teens I'll be working like this everyday with my mental health rapidly deteriorating. I've been fantasizing about these surgeries for a long time, thinking that everyone will finally treat me better and take me seriously, yk? It's the only thing keeping me grounded really. If it wasn't for those I would have (not trying to get into detail) killed a huge amount of people, then myself.


I really hate how people especially women look down upon me as if I'm like one of those pakistani nerds who play bring their laptops and mice to play minecraft all break time, but no, they don't know what I'm capable of. I was just trying to walk out in nature today and speak to my camera and this girl heard me say something about "6 feet plus" she immediently turned her head, what a whore! There was a group she was with so it's not like I could've pinned her down and tased her over and over again until she vomited. It's not like I could've forced a large stone down that stupid little sluts throat, no matter how much I wanted to!

I'm sorry if I got carried away here. I just feel so defeated, and I have to go for another long day of work I literally cannot afford missing any days of it because I truly do hate living like this.

show a pic of yourself, i'll see which surgeries you need

 

[Deleted member 226831]

show a pic of yourself, i'll see which surgeries you need

I've literally researched this for hundreds of hours it's not like I'm a greycel asking about mse, I know what I need. lol.

 

[crazyguy]

I've literally researched this for hundreds of hours it's not like I'm a greycel asking about mse, I know what I need. lol.

you dont even know if you need bimax or trimax.
whats your height?

 

[Deleted member 226831]

you dont even know if you need bimax or trimax.
whats your height?

Bimax with a larger movement 10mm+ ideally. I haven't consulted with any surgeons yet though. I'm 5'9.

 

[crazyguy]

Bimax with a larger movement 10mm+ ideally. I haven't consulted with any surgeons yet though. I'm 5'9.

dont worry about your height, you wont be able to make enough money for that in your teenage years to get LL.

focus on bimax and rhinoplasty.

 

[Deleted member 226831]

dont worry about your height, you wont be able to make enough money for that in your teenage years to get LL.

focus on bimax and rhinoplasty.

I know that, it will be the last one I get, I put the surgeries in order

 

[crazyguy]

I know that, it will be the last one I get, I put the surgeries in order

look, you'll have to pick your poison
1. you get a 2nd job, which will stress your body out. you will age yourself but you'll be almosg be abable to get every plastic surgery you need before youre 20.
2. you stay like this and slowly build your money up to pay for your surgeries, theres not as much stress but you'll be ugly for longer.

 

[Deleted member 226831]

I just feel like a little puppy beat to the point of retardation yk? Even if I get all the surgeries I want, It'll still be me in this head, no matter how attractive I might become, mentally I'm an abused puppy dog, I'm too scarred to happiness normally.

Being bullied my whole life at home and school because I'm ugly, short, bipolar, autistic with now heavy cptsd is an ungodly combination I wouldn't even wish on my mother.

 

[aegon31]

if you get a 2nd job it wont even pay you that much so is it rly worth the stress? not sure. but as you say yh times running out. even with a second job youll never experience teenage love anyway so just saving money with yr first job seems to be the way

 

[Deleted member 226831]

if you get a 2nd job it wont even pay you that much so is it rly worth the stress? not sure. but as you say yh times running out. even with a second job youll never experience teenage love anyway so just saving money with yr first job seems to be the way

Yeahhhh.. I just hope I don't look old when I'm in my mid 20s.

 

[gulden]

slavecel

 

[kiing_ronk]

Why does that avi turn me on so much

 

[jestercookievicular]

Why does that avi turn me on so much

nigga what ??

 

[jestercookievicular]

I work like a fucking dog in the hot australian sun all day just so I can slowly reach my goal of $250kaud (highball) to get the surgeries I need. Septo (covered by medicare) bimax or trimax (depending on whats better for short face syndrome) rhinoplasty, possible infraorbital implants, and lastly, limb lengthening. I dropped out of school and I earn $120 a day as an apprentice at 17 years old. When I'm 18 I'll join the police force.

My parents think I'm stacking all this cash up for a house and want to kick me out at 18 but I really can't let that happen I'll do anything, I'll just threaten my life at knifepoint if they do try that. I only have $7k saved up, I might need a second job..


Is a second job worth the stress and cortisol?


I just want to feel what teenage love and friendships feel like before my time runs out and everyone settles down. I know by the time I'll be healed from all these surgeries I'll be like in my mid 20s. This really sucks. My childhood and early teenage years all gone to waste from bullying and trying to fit in with people who never even liked me and now my late teens I'll be working like this everyday with my mental health rapidly deteriorating. I've been fantasizing about these surgeries for a long time, thinking that everyone will finally treat me better and take me seriously, yk? It's the only thing keeping me grounded really. If it wasn't for those I would have (not trying to get into detail) killed a huge amount of people, then myself.


I really hate how people especially women look down upon me as if I'm like one of those pakistani nerds who play bring their laptops and mice to play minecraft all break time, but no, they don't know what I'm capable of. I was just trying to walk out in nature today and speak to my camera and this girl heard me say something about "6 feet plus" she immediently turned her head, what a whore! There was a group she was with so it's not like I could've pinned her down and tased her over and over again until she vomited. It's not like I could've forced a large stone down that stupid little sluts throat, no matter how much I wanted to!

I'm sorry if I got carried away here. I just feel so defeated, and I have to go for another long day of work I literally cannot afford missing any days of it because I truly do hate living like this.

tldr

 

[Prøphet]

I just feel like a little puppy beat to the point of retardation yk? Even if I get all the surgeries I want, It'll still be me in this head, no matter how attractive I might become, mentally I'm an abused puppy dog, I'm too scarred to happiness normally.

Being bullied my whole life at home and school because I'm ugly, short, bipolar, autistic with now heavy cptsd is an ungodly combination I wouldn't even wish on my mother.

In a similar situation

Honestly, have you thought about taking out some loans for surgery? Someone made a really good thread about this, basically some unfortunate people are born with a “congenital facial debt” that you have to pay off to be good looking, and the opportunity cost of remaining ugly as you work for the money is higher than the apr% of a loan. I would seriously consider it if you’re this bad

 

[Deleted member 226831]

In a similar situation

Honestly, have you thought about taking out some loans for surgery? Someone made a really good thread about this, basically some unfortunate people are born with a “congenital facial debt” that you have to pay off to be good looking, and the opportunity cost of remaining ugly as you work for the money is higher than the apr% of a loan. I would seriously consider it if you’re this bad

Do you mind linking it please? I've thought of it, but I really doubt the bank will approve

 

[dogedogedoge]

Is a second job worth the stress and cortisol?

Yes. The stress won't kill you and the cortisol making you look and feel like shit won't matter. It won't matter how you looked in the past once you get your surgeries.

 

[AlphaLooksmaxxer666]

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