Deleted member 3043
Life is about hapiness and i love you all.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2019
- Posts
- 35,653
- Reputation
- 46,853
So, for the purpose of some science understanding of faces and attraction, i did an experiment with some people of the opposite gender, that i didn't knew before.
It was not me, but another dude, and some others phenotype experiments.
The thing is that, during my experiment, beeing super sensitive is a curse.
For the first time in my life, i was completely and totally in the same mood than somebody else, but this was not my former purpose - which was to be do looks experiments solely for scientifical purpose.
Exactly the same, due to super sensitivity : i can't enumerate all the things but sadness about the world, of its alienation, will to live closer to the nature, importance of voice and way of doing, speaking, writting, same issues with impatience, same issues with the will of helping the others and support their hardship and suffer for them despite them do it for themselves, kindness, no critism never, same metaphysical positions...
And i can't help myself, but due to my super sensitivity, beeing attracted to such a beeing that i never met in my life.
I didn't ever cared about looks that much, i just wanted to be loved 100/100 and this needed i always knew somebody as super sensitive as me to feel me without asking me, somehow even stronger than with telepathy, because we are totally similar and have strong ability to feel each others.
This is my dream and what i'm aiming for a LTR, and never found somebody so similar.
But, this wasn't me, this was my experiment, so i didn't knew what to do, her voice was perfect for her personnality too and she loved so much mine too.
I then high inhibit that i was, thought about quitting everything and just leave the good moment as they were and never reveal me.
But i couldn't, she was using my feels to ask me to call and talk, and at that time i couldn't go back anymore and not tell the truth.
Just before that, i've showed her, for my lookism purpose, dozens of males models, and GL dudes, and among them was myself.
I asked her to rate them and to tell my closeness to them - like which people of my family or friends they were.
She found my older pics decently attractive, more than a good amount of the GL dudes that i showed and even some top MM.
And she was so sensitive that at the first glance, she thought AMONG ALL, the pic was me younger, ie the GL dude i used which wasn't me.
Then we talked how much it would have been perfect if we met before, in HS, and were together, and she said that i was even gl younger and may be even too much for her due to me beeing popular at that time - this time it was me, my pics.
Long story short, i then tell her that only these pics were me, not my experiment. That it was not my former purpose to fall in love with a personality so close to mine, and that i was sorry. She tried to keep my calm and reassure me despite knowing that, she was so perfect... Imagine...
But she told me, i hate very strongely lies, and i've attached your personnality with this robot made gl dude - not even really existing actually but has all objective traits of GL. And dueto that, this can't be possible, this is like modelling totally again my feelings and it's impossible.
Now i feel sick inside, i'm so sad, so sad, i'm not attracted to thot, to hoes, to non perfect personality, kindness, and this will probably never happens again.
I did the worst deed ever, i don't desserve anything, i'm a wrongdoer, i'm sad, and i'll just hermit maxx, that's all i can do and deserve.
@RAITEIII @stuckneworleans @Dope @TRUE_CEL @Brandon10
It was not me, but another dude, and some others phenotype experiments.
The thing is that, during my experiment, beeing super sensitive is a curse.
For the first time in my life, i was completely and totally in the same mood than somebody else, but this was not my former purpose - which was to be do looks experiments solely for scientifical purpose.
Exactly the same, due to super sensitivity : i can't enumerate all the things but sadness about the world, of its alienation, will to live closer to the nature, importance of voice and way of doing, speaking, writting, same issues with impatience, same issues with the will of helping the others and support their hardship and suffer for them despite them do it for themselves, kindness, no critism never, same metaphysical positions...
And i can't help myself, but due to my super sensitivity, beeing attracted to such a beeing that i never met in my life.
I didn't ever cared about looks that much, i just wanted to be loved 100/100 and this needed i always knew somebody as super sensitive as me to feel me without asking me, somehow even stronger than with telepathy, because we are totally similar and have strong ability to feel each others.
This is my dream and what i'm aiming for a LTR, and never found somebody so similar.
But, this wasn't me, this was my experiment, so i didn't knew what to do, her voice was perfect for her personnality too and she loved so much mine too.
I then high inhibit that i was, thought about quitting everything and just leave the good moment as they were and never reveal me.
But i couldn't, she was using my feels to ask me to call and talk, and at that time i couldn't go back anymore and not tell the truth.
Just before that, i've showed her, for my lookism purpose, dozens of males models, and GL dudes, and among them was myself.
I asked her to rate them and to tell my closeness to them - like which people of my family or friends they were.
She found my older pics decently attractive, more than a good amount of the GL dudes that i showed and even some top MM.
And she was so sensitive that at the first glance, she thought AMONG ALL, the pic was me younger, ie the GL dude i used which wasn't me.
Then we talked how much it would have been perfect if we met before, in HS, and were together, and she said that i was even gl younger and may be even too much for her due to me beeing popular at that time - this time it was me, my pics.
Long story short, i then tell her that only these pics were me, not my experiment. That it was not my former purpose to fall in love with a personality so close to mine, and that i was sorry. She tried to keep my calm and reassure me despite knowing that, she was so perfect... Imagine...
But she told me, i hate very strongely lies, and i've attached your personnality with this robot made gl dude - not even really existing actually but has all objective traits of GL. And dueto that, this can't be possible, this is like modelling totally again my feelings and it's impossible.
Now i feel sick inside, i'm so sad, so sad, i'm not attracted to thot, to hoes, to non perfect personality, kindness, and this will probably never happens again.
I did the worst deed ever, i don't desserve anything, i'm a wrongdoer, i'm sad, and i'll just hermit maxx, that's all i can do and deserve.
@RAITEIII @stuckneworleans @Dope @TRUE_CEL @Brandon10
Last edited:
