I'm Scared

Zesto

Zesto

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I read @11gaijin post on tinder in India and I am fucking horrified.

I'm terrified when I go to Japan (Tokyo) I'm not going to get any matches and instead it's going to be some ripped Chang with a motorbike that's going to get 30 matches while I get 2 that don't respond.

You guys might say just make a tinder experiment of yourself but the truth is I don't have the abundance mentality to do that. If a girl from japan is interested in me and i am stuck in the Cuck S. A. I would not be able to contain my rage for the west.

I'm laughing thinking about this right now but I've put so much faith in Japan to save me that if I got treated just as I do on in the west (like I don't exist) by Jap girls I'm not sure what I would do.

I know SEA is waiting to embrace me but this was my dream.

Me and @11gaijin will need to have a long conversation about where I am going to go in Thailand if this shit doesn't work out when I leave in January. And the reason for that is so that I don't lose it.

I am so fucking guilty I haven't been in the gym for 2 weeks after going consistently since July. Is less than 3 months enough time to improve at the gym?

I'm squatting 35 and it took me 3 months to go from 25-35 kettlebell.

For dumbbell it took me 3 months to go from 5 to 15 pounds

for lateral pull down machine went from 40-70

I don't eat enough because I used to be obese (300 pounds) and I was that in 2016 then in 2017 200 pounds and now I'm 155 pounds but I hate eating because it makes me feel sick.

I eat at a caloric deficit which is why the trainer told me I'm not gaining any muscle mass just some definition in my arms.

I don't know what do I am scared.

It's coming and I don't know if I will be able to ascend.

What I am more scared of is what I will do if I don't.
 
Dude you gotta eat. Seriously liquid calories even
 
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You'll ascend
 
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You'll ascend

I would've wrote this on your thread if I wasn't banned. It was one of the best blackpills I've swallowed in awhile.

Dude you gotta eat. Seriously liquid calories even

I think I might have to start drinking my protein shake (its like 200 calories) 3x a day on gymdays (with every meal) instead of just 1x a day on gymdays.

That should help.

I don't have much time left.
@Nibba
 
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