7
720
Iron
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2026
- Posts
- 15
- Reputation
- 14
Since the day I was born I have been looked down on by my peers. I have always been a kind person. I have always been full of love. It’s easy for me to make friends and I get along with anyone. I try my hardest to make people feel comfortable around me, but for some reason they never do. Despite everything I do, nobody goes out of their way to make me feel valued. Nobody has ever truly loved me.
I assumed that my peers would no longer look down on me as we got older. I assumed that I would be a late bloomer. That’s what I’ve been told by doctors, my parents, and the internet. It doesn’t matter that I look 2 years less developed than my peers, it’ll all be the same once we’re older. I’ll finally reach 5’9. I’ll finally be a healthy weight. I’ll finally get rid of this acne. I’ll finally be normal. I just have to be patient.
We’re at that point now.
I’m 5’6.5 and it will be that way forever. I’m 105 pounds. I tried my hardest to gain weight. I ate when I didn’t want to. I ate when it hurt. I ate when it made me throw up. Not a single pound was put on. My recent bone age scan has revealed that my growth plates are fully closed. I won’t grow anymore, despite the fact that my bone age was 1.5 years behind when I was 11, that both my grandpas grew until they were 20, that my dad is 5’9, that my mom is 5’4, that I tried my hardest. I’ll forever be far below average. All I wanted was to be average.
The idea that I was a late bloomer has always been my coping mechanism. Being the smallest in your grade by a significant margin is tough, so I always told myself I’d grow to be as good as them. Watching your friends put on muscle while you struggle to put on enough weight to hide your ribcage is tough, so I always told myself I’d grow to be as good as them. Watching your friends gain bone mass in their face while you remain recessed is tough, so I always told myself I’d grow bones just as good as theirs. Losing your teeth 4 years late, starting puberty 2 years late, never becoming attractive, getting horrible acne late. All for what? I’m behind my peers but it’s okay because one day I’ll be as good as them. I’ll be acceptable. When we’re older none of this will matter because we’ll be the same.
I’m finished growing. I was never a late bloomer. The reason why I was underdeveloped is because of my childhood. I recently talked with my mother inquiring about where everything went wrong, holding back tears the entire time. I knew that I was growing normally until I turned 2, so I asked her, “I grew normally until 2 right, so what happened?” She answered, “You stopped eating so much, you started eating like a bird. You still eat like a bird.” From ages 2-13, I had no concept of growth. I only knew what I was told: my family has a history of late bloomers, my dad is average height and so is my mom, so I’ll end up just like them. Thus, I didn’t eat much. My parents allowed me to pick at my food, only eat a quarter of my plate, and skip meals. I was 68 pounds at age 13. At 13, I finally decided to do my own research. I learned that the amount that you ate had a significant impact on how much you would grow.
Consequently, I started eating as much as I could. I ate when it hurt, when I didn’t want to, I looked into calorie dense meals, I tried everything to gain weight. Even through all of my efforts, my total growth spurt was only 9 inches. That is a completely normal amount for a total growth spurt. It is the growth spurt I was meant to have. The only problem was, I started 2 inches shorter than I should have. My parents failing to nourish me from ages 2-13 had given me a total height loss of 2 inches. Because of those 2 inches, I will forever be looked down upon by my peers. Because of those 2 inches, I will never feel normal. I will never find love in this horrible generation, I will never be the person I want to be.
The worst feeling of all: none of it is my fault.
It is my parents fault, and the final nail in the coffin is that I was given the opportunity to go on an HGH cycle at 12 years old to help me achieve my genetic potential, but my parents said no. It was almost like they were trying to hold me back. These parents that tell me to accept and love myself don’t realize that this isn’t the 1970s anymore. People today are vicious. I will forever be seen as less of a person for being underweight, short, and ugly. It could have all been avoided had they helped me grow right. And they knew the whole time. Both of them are doctors. They knew the effects of malnourishing a child, but they didn’t care enough to help me.
I want to kill myself.
I want this pain to end. I want to start over. I wish I had all of this knowledge at a young age. I wish I could have raised myself. I hate these parents. These parents who are so focused on acceptance and love that do not realize their hypocrisy. What good is it if I accept myself and no one else does? What good is it to be alone forever?
Looksmaxxing is my final hope. At 17 and 7 months, I’ve never felt love. I want to feel love. For a short loser like me, looksmaxxing is the last way for me to be accepted by anyone. I will become perfect. I will squeeze any remaining potential from my body. I will become everything I’ve wanted to be. I do not care if it is delusional.
I will not stop until I am better than everyone who I wanted to be. I do not want to be average anymore. I want to be the best.
I will be the best.
I assumed that my peers would no longer look down on me as we got older. I assumed that I would be a late bloomer. That’s what I’ve been told by doctors, my parents, and the internet. It doesn’t matter that I look 2 years less developed than my peers, it’ll all be the same once we’re older. I’ll finally reach 5’9. I’ll finally be a healthy weight. I’ll finally get rid of this acne. I’ll finally be normal. I just have to be patient.
We’re at that point now.
I’m 5’6.5 and it will be that way forever. I’m 105 pounds. I tried my hardest to gain weight. I ate when I didn’t want to. I ate when it hurt. I ate when it made me throw up. Not a single pound was put on. My recent bone age scan has revealed that my growth plates are fully closed. I won’t grow anymore, despite the fact that my bone age was 1.5 years behind when I was 11, that both my grandpas grew until they were 20, that my dad is 5’9, that my mom is 5’4, that I tried my hardest. I’ll forever be far below average. All I wanted was to be average.
The idea that I was a late bloomer has always been my coping mechanism. Being the smallest in your grade by a significant margin is tough, so I always told myself I’d grow to be as good as them. Watching your friends put on muscle while you struggle to put on enough weight to hide your ribcage is tough, so I always told myself I’d grow to be as good as them. Watching your friends gain bone mass in their face while you remain recessed is tough, so I always told myself I’d grow bones just as good as theirs. Losing your teeth 4 years late, starting puberty 2 years late, never becoming attractive, getting horrible acne late. All for what? I’m behind my peers but it’s okay because one day I’ll be as good as them. I’ll be acceptable. When we’re older none of this will matter because we’ll be the same.
I’m finished growing. I was never a late bloomer. The reason why I was underdeveloped is because of my childhood. I recently talked with my mother inquiring about where everything went wrong, holding back tears the entire time. I knew that I was growing normally until I turned 2, so I asked her, “I grew normally until 2 right, so what happened?” She answered, “You stopped eating so much, you started eating like a bird. You still eat like a bird.” From ages 2-13, I had no concept of growth. I only knew what I was told: my family has a history of late bloomers, my dad is average height and so is my mom, so I’ll end up just like them. Thus, I didn’t eat much. My parents allowed me to pick at my food, only eat a quarter of my plate, and skip meals. I was 68 pounds at age 13. At 13, I finally decided to do my own research. I learned that the amount that you ate had a significant impact on how much you would grow.
Consequently, I started eating as much as I could. I ate when it hurt, when I didn’t want to, I looked into calorie dense meals, I tried everything to gain weight. Even through all of my efforts, my total growth spurt was only 9 inches. That is a completely normal amount for a total growth spurt. It is the growth spurt I was meant to have. The only problem was, I started 2 inches shorter than I should have. My parents failing to nourish me from ages 2-13 had given me a total height loss of 2 inches. Because of those 2 inches, I will forever be looked down upon by my peers. Because of those 2 inches, I will never feel normal. I will never find love in this horrible generation, I will never be the person I want to be.
The worst feeling of all: none of it is my fault.
It is my parents fault, and the final nail in the coffin is that I was given the opportunity to go on an HGH cycle at 12 years old to help me achieve my genetic potential, but my parents said no. It was almost like they were trying to hold me back. These parents that tell me to accept and love myself don’t realize that this isn’t the 1970s anymore. People today are vicious. I will forever be seen as less of a person for being underweight, short, and ugly. It could have all been avoided had they helped me grow right. And they knew the whole time. Both of them are doctors. They knew the effects of malnourishing a child, but they didn’t care enough to help me.
I want to kill myself.
I want this pain to end. I want to start over. I wish I had all of this knowledge at a young age. I wish I could have raised myself. I hate these parents. These parents who are so focused on acceptance and love that do not realize their hypocrisy. What good is it if I accept myself and no one else does? What good is it to be alone forever?
Looksmaxxing is my final hope. At 17 and 7 months, I’ve never felt love. I want to feel love. For a short loser like me, looksmaxxing is the last way for me to be accepted by anyone. I will become perfect. I will squeeze any remaining potential from my body. I will become everything I’ve wanted to be. I do not care if it is delusional.
I will not stop until I am better than everyone who I wanted to be. I do not want to be average anymore. I want to be the best.
I will be the best.
well above average in my country extremely above average for my ethnic group, around 75th to 85th percentile height in Canada and the USA and I believe 70th percentile in Europe. Only below average in a couple European countries like the Netherlands but a 182cm to a 183.8cm difference is not noticeable haha
